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Seeing medical certificate or not?

30 Apr 2021 19:39

My husband passed away from pancreatic cancer just over a week ago. He was in a hospice for 5 days before he died an I stayed with him for the last 18 hours until he died. Although he had cheyne-stoke breathing he wasn't distressed and in the end passed quite peacefully.

He is going to be cremated and the funeral director asked if I wanted to see the medical certiicate which will detail a little more about his treatment and last few days I believe.

I can't decide whether to or not. I didn't feel compleletely informed in his short week in the hospice and had to ask for info and got responses which felt a bit vague at times. The care he was given though was very good and they were kind and professional.

Should I go to view the certificate or not? Will it make me feel more distressed to read about what happened and his treatment? Or should I just leave it be?

Has anybody else viewed them? Advice please?

 

Seeing medical certificate or not?

30 Apr 2021 22:57 in response to mincepies

Hello,

Think you should leave it be. Not sure why a ‘funeral director’ is asking you this question?

A hospice takes care of people as it did with your husband and my wife (also passed with pancreatic cancer) who have come to their end of life when medication is no longer an option and although you feel uninformed and vague at times, I think that the Hospice were unable to respond positively as it is the end of a life and we all pass differently.

As you said the care he had and the time you had with your husband towards the end was peaceful and you were able to spend the last 18 hours with him, which many are not able to do.

Best Wishes

 

 

 

 

peaceful 

 

 

Seeing medical certificate or not?

4 May 2021 11:16 in response to mincepies

I am on here because I lost my dad so nothing related to your post, but I just wanted to say that my aunt manages our local hospice and I can tell you that the people working there are so passionate about the care and well being of their patients, they go above and beyond and your husband would have been given the best in his last days so I think the fact you have said his care was good, they were kind and professional and not forgetting that you were actually there to see him pass away peacefully is enough to know everything was as it should be. 
Those last days are a blur and you don't need to add anymore stress of trying to understand. 
Take care and I'm sorry you're going through this x