Hi there ... I can understand your wobble.. and the fear something may still be there ... I think we all have that thought ... but just maybe your body needs a little break ... it will give you time to build up again ..

And trust me, it gets to us too .. sometimes it's like the whole world is screaming the word ... t.v... the radio ... mags ... Drs... hosp ... and although we need it out there, sometimes l want to go a day and not hear the blasted word ... 

But here we all are, doing the best we can ... so be gentle with your self... only you can and have taken it all on board... look around you, wer all right there ... take care .. Chrissie x

Thank you for your reply Chrissie. You are right in everything you say! It's tough sometimes isn't it?

It's comforting to know that there are people who understand what we are going through.

Thanks again and you take care too. 

Jan. X

Hi, I write under Stay Strong and this is one of the problems I am finding with the same situation.   Treatment gives you a focus, being left for months and not knowing what stage you are at is like living in limbo.   How you stay positive is all in the mind and this can have a mind of its own!   We apparently should have had a scan in December last year but no one sent a letter, so I telephoned this week and were told we were a no show!   How can that not be followed up.  The Oncologist seem good, the back up not so much.  Let us know how it goes.  Cazx 

Hi Caz

Thanks for your reply. Yes, absolutely right, the treatment gives us focus and comforting in a strange way. Every 3 weeks for the last 16 months I've been having my treatment and next week it stops. I think what I'm finding hard is I know my cancer can't be cured, but hopefully can be controlled for as long as possible. Having nothing done until March is very scary.

That is terrible about your scan, I hope you have a new appointment? 

It's nice to chat to people who understand how you feel.

Take care

Jan x

You are so right Chrissie,

Everywhere I go since diagnosis it’s seems it’s all about cancer! It’s doing my head in when people constantly post nonsense on social media, every shop and pub, tv and cinema seem to be advertising something related. It’s great in one respect because all that fundraising is amazing but I for one go to the cinema or to town to forget my troubles for a period of time, not to have a reminder just before the film begins (or constantly through the film in the case of 3 Billboards, yes I should have read the blurb first!!).

Jan,

I'm about to embark on a course of radiotherapy on my vocal cords, I’m petrified of starting but I’m using the time before to try and get myself as physically fit as I can by keeping going with my gym and swimming, taking my vitamins and minerals, moisturising my skin in the area that will be targeted and my teeth have never been so pampered after being told that needing any dental work in the future could lead to my jaw giving up and needing to be removed! I have also invested a decent selection of pain killers and throat sprays for when the pain kicks in and bulk cooking and freezing for when I can’t be bothered to cook after treatment. So lots of practical stuff to keep me busy too on top of chasing around after my 4 teenage kids constantly. 

Try to use the time to get yourself stronger after treatment and remember, it’s your body working hard along with the chemo that is fighting the cancer, so your body needs to have time to recover to get the next treatment started. Good luck with everything,

Regards,

Crimbosocks 

Hi Crimbosocks

It certainly sounds like you are very well prepared for your treatment.. I hope it goes well and has a positive outcome for you.

Yes, you are right.. I will have a couple of months to give my body chance to recover and get stronger. I too am trying to keep as healthy and physically fit as possible. Ironically, I'm probably in better shape than I've ever been!

Thanks for your reply and good luck to you too!

Jan x

That's why this forum is so good.  I write exactly how I feel as the wife of a cancer sufferer and it gets it out of your head.  Keep posting and voice your concerns, there is always someone to help. Still no scan date and he's scared now as it's also not curable. Caz x

Hi Velvet. I have not spoken to you before but just seen your comment.  I fully get where you are coming from as I have had 8 doses of chemo for stage 4 stomach lining cancer. I was down to 9 stone 6 in April last year and told it was terminal but I have with the chemo and trying to be positive gone back up to 11 stone 13  have been off chemo now  since the end of October.i saw consultant late December and he asked me how I was. I said I felt good but for the first 2 weeks after my last dose of chemo I felt so insecure he said why and all I could say was I felt when I was having chemo it was as if something was keeping the cancer away. I feel f e now but understand where you are coming from. I have carried on working looking after my wife who has just had 5 weeks radiotherapy for vulval cancer and have just restarted going to the gym and feel much better for it. I can only say that people I meet who have not seen me for a while say that I look really well and although that’s great the mai. Thing I think if is being here for my lovely wife ( who is 80 years old) and I am not prepared to let this bloody disease take me away from her. 

So I do understand where you are coming from as I was the same but I have got past that and when I have a glass of red wine at night I just say to myself this will carry on.  Good luck to you Velvet ️

I no what you mean before getting cancer seeing the adverts never really paid to much attention  my mum had bowl cancer my aunt had cancer she die my uncle had it etc then my sister got cancer of the womb but till I got it never gave it to much thought back in the day use to collect Cancer tickets my mum would pay so much a week and you would get tokens to spend on stuff to to buy  now you  see it on tele all the time and like you said you fee like l saying sod off  don't want to see or hear about  on the tel or radio

Is it bad to feel like this?? 

Hi Jan,

I know that feeling well. My oncologist stopped my chemo six weeks earlier than originally planned because new data showed this had better outcomes. Part of me was relieved but another part was screaming don’t stop, it’s too early! The chemo routine made me feel I was fighting this thing but stopping felt so wrong.

After months of living and breathing cancer I decided to run away from the wintry weather and took a solo trip to a beach in South Goa (the one Matt Damon jogs along at the start of The Bourne Supremacy) to recuperate before returning home for my end of chemo CT scan results. I was off work on sick leave anyway and there were good deals available in January outside school holidays. I was weak and wobbly on the flight out, but long walks along the beach and swimming in the sea really helped me get back my physical and mental strength. 

Not for everyone I know but at the time my prognosis wasn’t great and I thought it might be my last chance to tick this off my bucket list :-)

Good luck with your scan results!

Dave