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Scared to lose my dad

Cgregory
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Hi all,

My dad has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was told today that the consultant can guarantee that he will be here for the next 6 months. 

I lost my mum when I was 13 and so my dad is all I’ve got and I absolutely adore and admire him. He’s also been like a father to my partner and he just seems to be in denial about what is happening which I am struggling with. 

I have a 4 month old baby and am so sad that she won’t know him as he is the best person that I know. 

I am really struggling at the moment with coping with the fact that I am going to lose my dad and cannot imagine life without him. I am trying to stay strong for my beautiful daughter and the rest of my family but I am breaking.

I would appreciate any advice on how to cope and what I can expect over the next few months. 

Thank you in advance x

  • Hi Cgregory, 

    I'm really sorry to read about the news your dad was given regarding his prognosis.

    Many of our members here will be able to identify with the thoughts and feelings you're having at the moment having gone through the same process with their loved ones and parents and hopefully some of them will be along soon to share their advice on how to cope and what to expect over the next few months. We have some information on our website just here that you may like to look at about this as well.

    I know you mentioned your little one and was wondering if you'd thought about making some home videos? They are great for making memories and will be a lovely reminder for you and your daughter of your dad.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline
    I am going through a similar experience as you. My dad has an unknown cancer that is in his liver. The only treatment he can really do is chemo which they're not even sure if it will work. He probably doesn't have much monger to live either and I totally understand what you must be going through now. I'm only 21 and it's hard to imagine the rest of my life without him. I'm sorry you lost your mom because sometimes having your other parent there can be really helpful. I'm not sure what you'll expect over the next couple of months, but sometimes to help me cope I just talk to my dad and explain to him my fears and just spec time with him. Talking about it to the person definitely helps, but I don't know how your dad is coping with death. I think the hardest is watching a loved one go through it and the anxiety of it all, but remembering after, he will be relieved of his pain and knowing he will always be with you in your heart or in spirit is very comforting for me. I'm not sure if that's good advice, but just know you're not alone in what you're feeling. I hope this process for you guys goes smoothly and you get to spend as much time with him as possible.
  • Offline in reply to cassc27

    Hi Cassc27 

    I’m so sorry about your dad too. Thank you for the advice, it means a lot. I am struggling to talk to him about things as I don’t want to bring it up unless he does first. He had his first chemotherapy session today so I can just hope that the treatment works. I hope you are coping okay and am here if you would like to talk to someone who can empathise with what you’re feeling. 

  • Offline in reply to Cgregory

    Thank you for that.  I understand not bringing hat kind of stuff up and it's not really required of you. If your dad really wants to talk about it then it's ok to be there to listen to him. However, sometimes just talking to him like you normally do can be just as good escpecially if he is somewhat in denial like you said. 

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