Together we will beat cancer


Scared and alone

16 Sep 2021 15:54

Ive 'known' for months that my partner has something severe, i had thought lung cancer, but it seems it is oropharyngeal, throat cancer. He refused to talk about it, and told GP he had hayfever, so that is what his treatment was for, and nothing improved of course.
He coughs but covid tests all negative. Coughing thick phlem and red blood. I constantly clean up, the bedding, the bathroom.
   He also has pain in neck and earache and has lost so much weight it is startling. He has used alcohol and tobacco all his adult life, and is now 73..
He finally saw the GP this week and he found tumour visible on soft pallate, He was referred to ENT at hospital and they rang today, but it is a phone call consltation.  How can that help as this stage?
I have no-one to help us, im a carer for my 90 year old father too and i feel like this a phone consultation is just wasting time.

Thankyou for reading,

Scared and alone

17 Sep 2021 02:32 in response to KNiamh

Hi KNiamh,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I am sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis. Try not to worry about the phone consultation. If ENT think that there is a need, I expect that he will be given a clinic appointment after that.

You never need to feel alone now that you have found this forum. Most of us have experienced the agonies that you are both going through. Please let us know how he gets on and, remember that we are always here for both of you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Scared and alone

28 Sep 2021 20:48 in response to KNiamh

Hi KNiamh,


I am sorry about the diagnosis of your partner. I have had to do a lot of telephone consultations because of Covid and they are surprisingly good and helpful. Sometimes after they arrange to get you in when they need to. Don’t let the phone thing worry you, these doctors and nurses are great at what they do. 

I found that the waiting between thing s made me anxious and worried, when things got going and treatment started I swear I felt more relaxed. I am sorry that you feel that you have no one to help you, it’s worse when you try to cope by yourself, I tried it and nearly fell to bits. I have to admit to phoning the Samaritans at one point as I got so low, they were actually really good. Sending you virtual hugs.