So sorry for you but your husband is lucky for your support. Do you think a holiday will be enjoyable when he's so sick? It might be extra stressful. It's so hard for non cancer sufferers to know how bad this disease can feel or how sick it makes us. The doctors will be honest with you if you ask what the prognosis is. You can only do so much, sometimes reassuring a cancer sufferer can backfire because I've had people tell me 'it's not so bad, you get all the support you need'. This is not realistic. I cry with pain every day and meds can only do so much. Listen to your husband, if he feels he's getting worse or not strong enough I would take that on board. It's a wretched disease. Your kindness to your husband must be the best comfort. 

Hi Emeraldstar

Thank you so much for your lovely reply to my post. It’s good to have a reply from someone going through this personally. It gives someone like me an insight  

Ive reassured him as regards speaking to the oncology nurse, the fact that the consultant has given him chemo arranging radiotherapy to try to prolong his life up to 12 months. I can’t give him false hope or promises that wouldn’t be fair. 

His prognosis is 4-6 months without treatment or possibly 12 months with  he opted for treatment  

Weve finally made a will, organisedpower of attorney for finance health and well-being. We should have done this long ago. My husband said he feels happier knowing this is sorted now. 

He booked this 5 day coach trip with his sister and brother in law. I don’t care if we don’t end up going as long as we are together but he loves the Lake District and said he really wants to go. There’s no pressure on him I promise

We have a kitten who is so incredibly gentle with him and she’s a great distraction 

please stay in touch and I’ll have a read of your thread too

once again thank you Emerald

Hi kuiper i understand what you're going through but from the other person I'm a lot different to your husband, I've got prostate Cancer gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung. Was diagnosed Feb 2016 been on palliative care since. I'm fighting all i can. I promised my darling wife in 1973 that if she married me I'd look after her when she got old she's nearly 14years older than me. She now has Alzheimers and parkinsons, so it can be awkward but we manage and I'm sticking to my promise. YOU BOTH have to fight for what you want. Good luck and best wishes................. Billy 

Hi Billygoatt

What a lovely post! It’s so great that you’ve fought for you and your wife. Your love for her comes through so strongly it’s lovely.  

My husbands care is palliative but he’s clearly not realising/accepting this yet. When the Marie Curie nurse came last week she realised this so she just discussed his meds. She’s due back next week. 

The chemo and radiotherapy are also palliative  Again he hasnt realised that either. He knows the prognosis is not long so maybe he’s just not letting on. I’m letting him take the lead  at the end of the day this is about him

Please take care of you both

love Kuiper

Hi kuiper, is there anyway you can get your hubby more positive and to fight more. I've had palliative hormone therapy and palliative chemo. Oncologist said I'd need more chemo before the first year was up its been four years now and still not had second one, you and him have to be positive and fight try to be as normal as possible, definitely fight for that holiday at least then fight for the next thing. It certainly can't make things worse. Thinking of you both you can have some of my positive thoughts and welcome to them........... Billy

P.s its wrong to give a time line they don't know someone has worked it out averages years ago but treatment has improved since so it's out of date. Best wishes... 

Hi 

Thats sound advice you’ve given to me. After the holiday the caravan season starts on the 27th. I’m hoping he’s well enough to get up there and we open up our caravan. He loves fishing up there. He loves the peace and quiet and calm. I told him I don’t want this disease to come between what we would normally do but I would understand if he wasn’t well enough. I agree that we need to fight for each goal no matter how small 

i loved what you said about the timeline, let’s face it medicine has advanced immensely. I wish there would be a cure for everyone really soon

He is fighting as best he can, we are a very close family and he hates seeing how upset our daughters and son are. They put on a brave face, crack jokes but you can see the sadness in their eyes

please take care 

Kuiper  

Hi Kuiper...don't allow the doctors prognosis to take away your hope. They do not know our expiry date. My mother was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer in May 2019. It was found during a routine surgery for gall stones. Her CT scan at the time was clear and she was scheduled in for a liver resection in Leicester in July. On opening her up they discovered that it had spread to her peritoneum and so they just closed her up again. We were told she was now stage 4 - inoperable. Don't give up. Wishing you and your husband strength. 

I'm so sorry your going through this I'm also watching my husband go through the same. 

My husband can't have treatment as he has a rare pancreatic cancer and so we are just taking each day at a time. 

Always talk to your nurse even if you walk her to the door when she has finished her visit if you feel you don't want to talk in front of your husband. 

Talking helps I find even with my husband as I tell him one day I won't have him here to talk to so need to know now. 

Be open with him and talk as much as you can. 

I'm sitting here watching my husband sleep I have good days and bad days but I'm always here if you want to chat x

Hi Taylor. Thank you for taking the time out to reply to my post. I really appreciate it. It’s a horrible helpless feeling I have and yes you’re right about making the most of now. I feel for you with your husband. 

Im sorry if my posts short. I’ve had a day where my dad had a dementia assessment in mom and dads house. It took 2 hrs. I’ve come back drained. Thankfully my husband was hungry tonight but wanted hot dogs (Richmond sausages) so I did him a couple and then he had two pieces of cake. I love when he eats. I get really concerned when he doesn’t. So now if he says he wants something I just do it for him. Sometimes he will cook if he’s not too tired. Some days he barely eats  

Taylor I will try to stay in touch. I’m going to try and have a short nap while he’s resting 

please take care. I am here for you whenever I can and I will always reply 

love Kuiper 

I’ve not been on for a while but everything’s ok as it can be. 

We had the most amazing week at the Lake District. The weather was dry apart from one day. There was snow on the mountains and I took the most amazing pictures. I took a lovely one of him with the mountains behind him. It was a holiday of memories. I was an emotional wreck inside. On the last day I cried. This was a mixture of happiness and obviously sadness. I did this privately. However, he looked so sad and we just hugged side by side looking across at the beautiful view from the hotel. I’m so relieved we did this

So, back home to reality. He had a week of radiotherapy and it made him sick. The idea was to try to shrink the tumours on his vertebrae to try to help with the pain. It was 5 days finishing last Friday.

He’s just come up to me saying how much pain he’s in with his groin. We are going up to the hospital today to collect his chemo tablets, so he will tell them. If not we will phone the Marie Curie nurse