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Relationship and cancer

22 May 2019 19:55

Hi guys I am new to this, this is my very first post.... my girlfriend has cancer and we just have had a huge argument... I feel shocking about it and just don’t understand why we have just argued.

Relationship and cancer

22 May 2019 20:36 in response to M-MK

Hi there ...

When someone gets that cancer diagnosis,  all our emotions are all over the place ... highs / lows / crying / confused / scared ... plus every other emotion you can think of ...

Everything changes .. the future is uncertain... the "what ifs "   and it's like being caught in a huge tornado... and wer sterling around not knowing if well ever come out the other side .. some people push away those they love and need .. to protect them from getting hurt .. some come out fighting .. some are just confused ...

Saying all that, once you understand everything, you can either walk your separate paths ... both hurting .. or you can listen to each other without interrupting... really listen ... share tears .. hugs .. and say whatever's thrown at her, your going nowhere ... then you can both walk this journey together .. that's what l did with my close family ... they let me take the lead .. they were there when needed .. gave me space to be upset ... and yet always walked together ...

It's going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever do .. but if you both come through , you'll be stronger then ever ... it's like a rollercoaster ride... ups and downs ... but it is doable with someone holding our hands ...   chrissie x

Relationship and cancer

23 May 2019 11:18 in response to M-MK

Hey,

You're not alone. My boyfriend has cancer and we have been arguing more. It feels like his personality changed since. The advice someone gave me on here was:

"Carry on being there for him. Let him know that you're there for him when he needs you. But also take some time to care for yourself. If you don't have family or friends to speak to, there are support services for carers. 

While he doesn't have the energy to support you too right now, one day he'll look back on this and know that you were there when so many others walked away. That means a HUGE amount." 

 

As difficult it is now, we just have support them. I guess we will never really know how they feel. 

 

Good luck with everything!