Together we will beat cancer


Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 10:16

hi there I’m Sam, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer back in May and only just had the operation to remove 2 lumps and some lymphonodes, and she now has to go back next week to have more taken out after spotting it in the last operation it has come as a huge shock to myself and her as she’s normally been it and healthy and been the rock in mine and her partners life does and now being told she can’t do what she did she’s always been a trooper worked 2-3 jobs done all cleaning cooking caring etc anyway my question is that she is refusing to take the medication and I realise that with the side effects and the worlds view on medication this is probably quite common but should I be almost making her take them or is it ok to leave her to her own mind it’s all quite upsetting and confusing Thankyou 

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 11:52 in response to Sammy3331

Why is she refusing medication ? If it is hormone therapy that would be very foolish indeed . If you want to get better you have to trust the hospital team and that means doing 

what they say ! I am nearly at end of hospital treatment for BC but will take tablets for next 10 years . Please try and persuade your mum to do same 

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 12:06 in response to Sammy3331

Hi there ..

I can understand how you feel .. wanting the best for your mum ... we all do ... and you give us a tiny bit of info ... like what is your mum declining ... as she's having another op , it looks like she's doing those things she wants to ...

All I can say is my way , I've done things ..  there's some things I agreed to .. there's some I refused .. I took all the info, thought carefully all pros and cons .. took into the fact of my health .. and I did research on everything offered ... but I had an amazing surgeon who let me decide what I would or wouldn't have ..

My family all backed me 100% on what I wanted to do .. yes I'd listen to advice and worries but in the end I took control where it looked like I had none ...  what I'd say to you , is tell her you'll support her whatever she decides .. as long as everything is weighed up ... 

Everyone should be allowed to follow their heart ... weather it's take everything offered .. or choose parts of .. or in a few cases not want any ... as long as it's been well thought out ..

Fingers crossed your mum will do what's right for her .. and my heart goes out to you .. l think it's harder watching someone go through cancer when you love them so much .. chrissie xx

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 12:41 in response to susanmanchester

She’s refusing to take A tablet called Letrazole she was supposed to take for the months leading up to the operation and after for the next few years, she is taking the bone strengthening tablets as she suffers with arthritis which are making her very nauseous and also going ahead with the planned radiology but the she’s a very stubborn strong woman and so far hasn’t been ill or wanted for anything I think she worried the tablets will take away her female Hormomes for want of a better word and make her feel like she isn’t strong and independent anymore obviously having the lymphodes out has knocked her for six as they have said you can’t do much with your arms or risk damage which for someone who has been very independent and dug deep all her life is quite a shock, it’s very tough I’m an only child from a single parent my dad wast around she’s has never smoked or drank or had any family with cancer so it’s all a bit sureal and her not having the tablets is a big concern but I’m wandering what is the severity of not taking them

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 12:44 in response to Chriss

Sorry I replied to this with the previous comment but think it went straight on to there thread not both 

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 13:40 in response to Sammy3331

Hi I thought that is what it must be . I have just 

started Letrozole to prevent recurrence or spread of breast cancer . You can't pick and mix 

cancer treatment unfortunately . Well you can but it is gambling with your life . I have to disagree with previous poster .  Did I want surgery chemo radiotherapy and 10 years of tablets ? No . Did I have  them ? Yes because I want to stay alive and the best chance of doing that is taking the tablets . Does your mum's medical team know she is doing this ? If not 

they need to . Hope you sort things out ! 

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 13:41 in response to Sammy3331

Hi Sammy ...

Well that makes more sense ... I have ostio arthritis and lots of things with bones .. so that was one tablet I refused ... as I'd read about the effect on bones going forward ... so I went on tamoxifen instead which is a bit gentler .. so I'm taking it your mum's oestrogen positive ... which is why they offer us these tablets ... it's to suppress our oestrogen so rouge cancer cells find it harder to stick .. well that's the easyer way of explaining ... 

Now they both come with side effects .. mood swings ... aching mustles or bones ... I got the mood swings for a couple of weeks ... cryed over everything and anything ... but took mild anti depressant for a few weeks and it sorted it's self out ... I've been on tamoxifen nearly 2 years now....

So get your mum to ask about tamoxifen or other alternatives that are gentler on the bones ...  if she's got any questions , I'd gladly chat to her ...

The arm where lymph nodes are taken is very achy and takes a long while to get back it's strength .. even 2 years on I don't carry shopping in that hand or do painting the walls any more .. but exercises will help her ..

I wouldn't fixate on the tablets ... they are just an extra ... to help ... but if she did try them, she can stop later if not coping with them .. but l refused radiotherapy for reasons of bone too ... and I'm still here ... not that I'm saying for anyone else to refuse it .. if I'd been younger and fitter I would have had it ..

So listen to your mum .. read about the effects of both tablets ... do your homework .. and then you can understand and help mum through ... but trust your mum ... always here if you want a chat ... Chrissie x 



Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 13:44 in response to Chriss

P S ... I was worried if I went on them, my voice would get lower .. and grow hair on chest / face ... but thankfully not ... so think that's a bit what your mum's worried about too ...   ; ))

Refusing tablets

19 Aug 2019 19:15 in response to susanmanchester

Thankyou for your advice 2

very different answers but I can take from

both of them I’ve spoken to


mum and shown her this hopefully it will help her decide what’s best Thankyou and all the best