Referred to breast clinic

Hi,

I went to a doctors appointment today as last week had left breast hurting, after feeling around realised the source of the pain was coming from a lump under the nipple, the pain lessened the next day and has been totally painless since. Seems like the nipple doesn't fully erect now, concerned that it's starting to invert as the right side of the nipple does erect a little but the left side doesn't really so nipple looks pretty lopsided.

The stupid thing really is about a year ago a similar thing happened, sudden breast pain n noticed it was firm under nipple where as on the other breast can easily pinch under nipple. But the pain went away after few days so I just put it down to other half biting too hard n basically forgot all about it until now. So now the lump is still there (or come back idk) but also feels like another lump underneath that.

Doctor agreed theres a lump there and is referring me to breast clinic. She sorta panickedly said I don't think its cancer, I don't think its cancer. I began to explain that i have been googling and i do understand theres tons of things it could be but she sorta cut me off. Seemed like she was rather unfortable talking about it. So her assurances for not being cancer doesn't count for much. Doctors are wrong all the time and probably not that ethical letting your patients walk out panicking it could be cancer. I'm sure she in reality has no idea whether its cancer or not until further tests are done.

I don't feel massively panicked about it potentially being cancer as such at the moment, but I am an obsessive person and waiting 2weeks for scan then another week for results is going to drive me crazy. It's the not knowing i can't stand. Any advise on how not to obsessively think about it? 

I feel like i'll be more annoyed than anything if it does turn out to be cancer. I've been trying to concieve for the last 4 years with no luck, early miscarraige 2months ago and I have pcos (been obsessively googling whether that increases risk of abcess/fibroedema/cancer) been seeing a fertility doctor was on route for ivf then got CIN2 result on smear and had to have colonoscopy and letz which delayed things a few months as had to wait for 6month follow up smear after all that, had 1 blood test and one scan left to go before ivf started then lockdown happened. N now if this does end up worst case it's going to delay things even more (if ever happens at all). I guess realistically may be sensible to think about egg freezing now.

Maybe I think about too much at once, but I like to be prepared for all scenarios.

I'm exhausted from keep playing the waiting game, doesnt seem to get easier. Hopefully these next couple weeks fly by.

Wishing you all well.

X

  • Hello,

    Seeing as your only question in your post seems to be about advice on not obsessively thinking about it during the 2 week waits, I don't know if I might be able to help.

    I too was trying for a baby for a fair amount of time before I found out I had a cervical polyp that was causing issues with my mentrual cycles. However, having had that removed, I still felt like something wasn't quite right. Later I found a lump and yes it did turn out to be cancer. I'm now through the worst of the treatment even though it is not completely over until Nov and I have to take tamoxifen for 5 years. I did have fertility treatment before my cancer treatment and have frozen eggs as a result. Having dealt with fertility treatment, chemo, surgery, radiotherapy, ongoing immunotherapy and endocrine therapy (the tamoxifen I mentioned,) and having tried to work as much as possible throughout the entire experience only to go through such an emotional rollercoaster because I've ended up upsetting those at work due to my emotional state, I know what our thinking can do to us.

    Having learnt a lot from all of this, I think that how you can help yourself is to yes get knowledgable about cancer if you want to (but stick to reputable and reliable sources) but more so look into mindfulness. It is a difficult theory to put into practice but it is all about not fighting what we feel. Awareness and acceptance of what we think and feel. Not trying to change it. You may find that it may not be working for you to begin with, but be patient. It really takes time and real honesty/vulnerability with yourself and others to master the awareness aspect of mindfulness and takes a lot of strength to handle the acceptance part of mindfulness. One doesn't seem to work without the other. It takes real commitment and hard work.

    Anyway, I don't know if that helps at all???

    Best wishes.

    Collette