Thank you, I think it's the waiting and not knowing that's making my mind go into overdrive , I'm so unbelievably tearful , I go on Thursday x

Hello Heley

I hope that you are managing to get some respite from your head.

It is human nature to think through everything and worry about things that are not known. It isnt always helpful though as some things that go through your head might be worse than the reality and then you have worried for nothing. I know its not ideal in times of lockdown, but try and find things to do that take your mind off the thoughts. Do you have a hobby? Do you have a dog to walk? Also dont feel that you need to keep this to yourself bottled up. Share you thoughts and fears with a loved one and then, as Lorraine said, get back to your normal life after you have unloaded and had a cry.

My partner went through a similar situation at the end of last year. Although this might not be for you, we treated it as a process. We tried to ignore the big picture and just take one little step at a time. Thursday is the first step on the process. You have to have a scan. That doesnt necessarily mean there is something bad, if there is something there it doesnt men to say it is malign. Try to look at this as one activity that you have to go through. Try not to focus on all of the possible outcomes. The one thing the scan will do is allow you to concentrate on a much narrower set of thoughts. So this is part of the process of stopping your mind from wandering all over the place.

Did we get rid of all of the bad thoughts and the worries? Of course not, but we managed to contain them within boundaries. I obviously dont know anything about you but I would encourage you to try and keep positive. I know this is hard at a time like this but I am convinced it is helpful.

One last practical thought. Whenever we went to appointments, we spent some time beforehand thinking about and writing down any questions we wanted to know the answer to. We also took a book and pen to the appointment to write down what we were told. We found it helpful as sometimes your mind goes blank and you forget what you are told. It also gives one less thing to worry about. If you have someone who can go with you, and you are allowed to be accompanied in these strange times, take them along and let them write down for you. This may not be relevant on Thursday if it is just the scan, but it was just a thought.

Amongst all the thoughts in your busy head, please make space for the possibility that this might be nothing at all. Our heads naturally seem to concentrate on the bad possibilities but make sure you force some good possibilities in there too. Mammograms are not the ultimate science, they show things which need to be interpreted. As well as the dark thoughts we have, there are innocent and benign explanations for some of the thing they show.

I hope for all positive news for you on Thursday and am sending you a big hug :)

Vik