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Really struggling

Busby666
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Hi my husband has advanced gastric cancer . He has had 4 doses of radiotherapy which has made him really tired and feeling sick. He was booked in for chemotherapy for next week however he's not strong enough yet so they have put him on steroids to see if that will get him built up abit so fingers crossed. I'm heartbroken seeing him in pain. I feel so so bad saying this but I'm struggling with everything I'm doing everything around the house sorting shopping and bills doctors appointment district nurse. I don't mind doing all of this but I say to my family they just say well you just have to get on with it. I have my own health issues. I have long term mental health issues which to be quite honest are getting worse. I'm missing my medication I'm not eating or sleeping. By the time I have sortedhusband our checked he's ok and got what he needs it is midnight before I sit down. Then I realise I haven't had anything to eat all day. But I'm so tired to make anything I just go to bed. I can't say this to any one else because I think they just think I'm been selfish . At the end of the day I'm only one person. I feel like I'm heading for a breakdown sorry to rant x

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    Hello there,

    Firstly, you should not apologise for anything. We are all human and it sounds like you are burnt out! You are entitled to rant and it is so brave of you to admit that you are struggling!!! 

    You need to speak to your family about how much you are struggling. My mum has metastatic breast cancer and I have the same kinds of day when I am caring for her. I have had many breakdowns because caring for someone is so difficult!!!! It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. 

    Having an hour to two a day for your own mental state is so so so important. Please try and contact either the hospice or macmillan for extra support. You need to be strong within yourself to be able to be strong for your husband. The only way you can do this is if you take time in the day to focus on caring for yourself.

    You are doing amazing xxxxx 

  • Offline in reply to Emily112

    Hi sorry for late reply. I have been having trouble signing in. Thankyou for your reply I'm so sorry about your poor mam.It is very hard looking after someone I had to look after my mam after a brain aneurysm.I did that for two years just before that my dad  died . A year after that my step brother killed himself. Just a year ago my step mam died of bowel cancer. It's been really difficult. My husband had been there for me he has always been my strong caring husband now I don't recognise him it's terrifying. I'm so scared I don't want to lose him aswell. We have been together for 25 years we have four grown up kids and a grandson. Thankyou again for taking the time to reply and give me comforting words. Please stay strong and take care M xxx

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