Please don't do what you think is expected of you, do what is right for you and your mother.  I suspect she probably would feel uncomfortable if you stayed with her until the end.  As a thought,  why not write her leters fairly frequently, so that she knows you are thinking of her and she can re-read them at her leisure.  That and a few trips home would, I suspect, be comforting to her.  I, too, have untreatable cancer, but certainly wouldn't want any of my adult children moving in, but letters, emails, texts and phone calls are more than welcome with the odd visit.  I hope you find what is best for both of you but know that how you are feeling is normal, because none of us can know how we will feel and act in these circumstances and we frequently 'disconnect'.  

Hi Ross,

Pauline has i think give good advice. I can only suggest, try and make as many happy memories as you can for I have found this helped me when I lost my mother. If your mother has skype, you could always talk to her via this medium. This would help keep you connected. We always feel that our nother will always be there for us so I do understand how you feel. It didnt really hit me untill my mother passed away and then it seemed unreal for a few days before it hit hame hard.

Take care, sending best wishes to you and your mother, Brian.

Hi Ross,
The advice from Pauline is very wise.
Emails from family chatting about what's happening in the "normal" world are most appreciated.  I asked my siblings to do this for my hubby and they did and was a welcome mind break from the cancer thoughts which are there a lot of the time.  
Kathy x 

 

The hardest choice, all the replies to your question are right. I too have a similar outlook to you, and was in denial even up to the point where the doctor decided to put my dad on the "Liverpool pathway". I have loads of regrets and I now wish I had spent more time with him even though he was adamant that I get on with my life job etc. Get as many trips in to see her as you can afford, and try to be there for her at the end. I know that is difficult because you dont know the day. I now myself have cancer and can see both sides, I tell my kids to get on with their lives but am overjoyed when they do visit, like you, making the long and expensive journey from London.