So sorry to hear this. I can only say from my limited experience so far that I've found the waiting worse than the results. Like you, during the waiting I swung wildly from trying ot be ultra positive through to worst case scenario. I think this is natural. Once I met with the specialist they were able to set out a clear treatment plan and allay many of my fears, which made me feel much better. I hope Tuesday's meeting will put your mind at rest  a little. x

Hi there,

I'm not great on wisdom but just know there's a whole load of us on here fighting the same fight alongside you!  So while we prefer not to get new members to the club, you are very welcome.

This is one of the hardest times you'll go through, the initial waits.  Once you get to discussing treatment plans etc. things fall into place and while you're still fighting cancer and that's awful, it all becomes more procedural and you are more aware of what's going on at each stage.

Depending on what your treatment plan is there is loads of advice and tips to get.  Still there are some tips that are common to both chemotherapy and radiotherapy - drink plenty of fluids, moisturise morning and night, get any necessary dental work done before starting treatment etc. and the earlier you start them the better prepared your body is for what comes.  And my key tip (cause someone mentioned it to me thankfully) is to check whether you already have critical illness cover of some sort and, if so, does it cover this scenario.  It wouldn't even have crossed my mind and yet we took it out for exactly the kind of position I'm now in!

Any practicalities you can deal with while you're still relatively well and not undergoing treatment... well it's easier to do them during this time.  It also keeps you busy, focussed and makes you feel like you're doing something positive.

Best wishes,

LJx

Thank you both for the replies, it means a lot. 

I am struggling today, I’ve got a pain in my hip and it’s impossible for me not to convince Myself that it means cancer has spread. My mind is working overtime, I know it’s irrational, but I can’t help it. 

I know tomorrow should hopefully bring more clarity, I just hope they don’t say I need further tests and the waiting will be longer, I suppose I should feel blessed it’s only been a weeks wait so far. 

We were supposed to be going on holiday on Wednesday we haven’t cancelled it yet, just on the off chance they say nothing will happen for a few weeks, I’m in two minds as to whether we’ll enjoy it if we manage to go but then my other thought is what if it’s our last holiday, i know I can’t do anything until after my appointment tomorrow but has anyone any thoughts?

i have been trying to think of practical things, I don’t have critical illness cover, although thankfully I do have life insurance should the worse happen. 

Sorry to be doom and gloom, but if anyone understands I know you guys will x

Hopefully tomorrow will bring good news and you wont be waiting much longer.I have cramps and back pain today and my mind is working overtime too.I would go on your holiday and try and enjoy every single moment.I just cant seem to settle to do anything today.This waiting is taking so long. Wishing you the best news for tomorrow. Love, Anne ️ ️ ️

Totally get where you're coming from.  My stomach has been so bad since my last chemo I've been convincing myself my cancer has spread too, it's hard to not.  I don't think you're being doom and gloom, just going through all the natural feelings we have at times like this.

I guess the best comfort is that since you had already had other biopsies there is every chance they have caught it early.

It's impossible to know whether you're going to have another bit of a wait after tomorrow or if they are going to have your treatment plan ready to go.  However, even if they do have it ready to go they may be happy for you to delay it just a little and take your holiday, that might be the best scenario for having the chance to enjoy the holiday.  If it wasn't that mine had already started spreading they would have been happy for me to delay chemo a couple of weeks to take my visit back home to see family.

They may do further tests to help with staging and deciding treatment options, but once it got to that stage I found everything moved quite quickly and the waits were nothing like the original one.

Best wishes,

LJx

Thanks LJ, that’s really helpful x

Wishing you all the best for today xxxx

Just to update. 

I saw my consultant on Tuesday, he said there is a thickening in my stomach wall but the CT scan was inconclusive as it couldn’t determine if it was touching the pancreas. Yesterday I had an endoscopic ultrasound, had really worked myself up before it, I hate medical procedures especially if you’re awake but thankfully they gave me a double dose of sedation which was actually nice because I felt I was able to switch off for a few hours . 

I’m having a laparoscopy tomorrow, and all being well I will be scheduled for chemo followed by surgery to remove half my stomach. I’m scared it’s spread to the pancreas, I know that’s not a good thing. He was trying to keep me positive saying how young and healthy I am, he said that my lymph nodes are clear and the fact that it wasn’t picked up on the first biopsy was a good thing as it could mean it’s small. 

I suppose tomorrow will tell more but if he has to take biopsies tomorrow we won’t get results for another 2 weeks. 

I should be in Majorca now, I should be watching my son make new friends and playing in a pool, I should be arguing with my daughter about leaving her make up everywhere and taking too long to get ready. I should be with my husband and parents and kids enjoying our break but  instead I’m just on pause. 

My Dad is 70 in a few weeks and we’re having a big family get together, I’m insisting it goes ahead, my initial instinct was to hide away, I’m a private person but I won’t keep this cancer a dirty secret whether I lose my hair or my curves I’m not going to fade into the background, 

I know I’m rambling but it helps to get these things out. Im going to enjoy a nice family day today before tomorrow’s procedure. Im going to buy a few things for my daughters 16th next month, im going to go the gym and cook a nice meal while listening to music with my husband, im going to walk my dogs with my Mum. Im going unpause myself today.  Cancer can off  

Thanks for listening xxx