Hi Jill,

I'm a man and although I don't have a cervix, I have had pelvic radiation.

I can empathise with you when you say other people think it's all over now, I've had that many a time, particularly from those who are trying to encourage me to do stuff. People who've not had cancer or its treatments and side effects, simply have no concept of the level of fatigue we have as a normal.

You should be aware that pelvic radiation can have serious side effects that sometimes don't appear for years. In particular, you should be mindful of bladder and bowel problems and seek medical intervention early. Radiation killed my sigmoid colon but having had abdominal discomfort for years, as well as prior surgery and treatments/medications, I wasn't able to notice anything extra being wrong.

Re the fatigue - it might be ongoing for a long time. Various things can help but only by so much. Exercise, eating well and sleep. I do virtually no exercise but even I'm getting stronger bit by bit.

I'm living testimony for the benefits of living in the moment, as I'm unable to do anything else. In reality, you don't know how you're going to feel next week, tomorrow or in an hour. You only know haw you feel now. 

Rather than having things to do or things that should be accomplished such as housework, just be sufficient to the moment. If you feel up to doing something now and are able, fine, crack on if you want to. But if you don't feel like doing anything now, don't. And don't keep it in mind as something you've got to do later or by a certain time, simply put it out of your mind and don't feel guilty about it.

Very few things in life are as important as we make them. Family is one. And I think that if you can't do very much, then what you can do should be about family, particularly maintaining and enhancing relationships with the people you love. Better ten minutes telling your kids a story than using a vacuum cleaner.

And I'd be explaining to people that, though your treatment may have finished, the effects of cancer and its treatment can be ongoing for years. And while you value their encouragement, any thoughts that it's all over and done with are simply wrong. Having had cancer and treatment, you are never going to be the person you were, it changes you. But that doesn't mean you'll always be its victim. Sometimes it makes you a better you, in many many ways.

Hope you can find something in that lot that helps.

Best Regards

Taff

Hi Taff

Thank you so much for such a lengthy response and with so many tips. I really did take a lot out of it and I’ve definitively been my own enemy I’m also wanting or even expecting myself to be better too quickly. I think you can be tricked by the good, strong moments and then disappointed when they don’t last til the afternoon or evening or next day! 

Anyway, I’m learning slowly how to be that different person. I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old and so their time is precious. Their time is exhausting too :) 

Thanks again!

Jill

Aye Jill, think quality of life mate. Take your pleasure wherever and whenever you can. Revel in your kids, even when they're being naughty.

Sufficient to the moment. That's all there is.

Taff