Hi Chriss,

I'm delighted to hear that you have had a 'nice shock' when you were told that you have a low grade tumour. I lost my Mum several years ago to metastases from breast cancer. Now I hae breast cancer too. I have had two bouts of primary breast cancer. I was first diagnosed 7 years ago, when I was 61. I found the second the following year. I had a lumpectomy the first time, followed by Tamoxifen and a double mastectomy the second, followed by Letrozole.

Unfortunately, I was not a suitable candidate for reconstruction, so I have been wearing prostheses for the past 7 years. I don't let this stop my activities. I still go to the gym  and go swimming, so I had to laugh at your description of wearing your prosthesis for the first day with 'one hung low'. We need to have a sense of humour with prostheses - I could tell you of many times when I have been caught out too.

Are you going to bother with reconstruction? Your description of children with cancer is quite true. Children are wee troupers when faced with this horrible disease and it does put our problems into proportion. I have always referred to this as my cancer journey, which like any journey, has its problems - I just don't want to reach my final destination too soon!

I too am a Mum to 2, with 2 fantastic little Granddaughters. Here's hoping that we will both have many more years with them.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. There is always someone here whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Chris's, I also have a grade 3 breast tumor and when diagnosed, I thought my life was over. It's a terrible shock at the time, but staff have been fantastic and reassured me that it is treatable. I am currently having chemo, which is a tough journey, as the tumor was triple positive, making it quick growing, aggressive type. When the chemo is over I will be having breast surgery. As yet I do not know if it's a mastectomy or a lumpectomy, depends how it shrinks with the chemo. Like you, at 60 I thought at least I have had a life, when you read about youngster with cancer it puts your own into perspective. It's great that you have retained your sense of humour as that sees you through a lot and like u I also see it as a journey and take each step as it comes. Friends and family are a great support and on down days, they pick u up and u carry on. Good luck with your journey x

Hi jolamine... 

Thank you for reply ... no I'm not going for reconstruction... I feel quite o k with my little prosthesis , I call it Betty ... Betty boob   probably would have done a few years back but feel at home with it all now.. 

It must be so hard for you losing  your mum to it too .. there are so many people going through the same as us and it's so good to be able to chat on here and feel it's a sort of cancer family where we can share and care together  ... 

Isn't it wonderful having gran kids where you get all the fun and non of the work ... mIne are 26 /24 /15 /13 / 5 AND 3 and they make life worth living .. Not bad from two boys ... how old are yours? And yes hope we get a bit more time with them ....

Well here's thinking of you and always look on the bright side if poss ... and maybe our mums look down to keep an eye on us  ... they never leave.. they just wait for us ...  a lovely saying I'm trying to live by is 'don't wait for the storm to pass .. learn to dance in the rain'  so let's make the most of every day a..

All the best ... big hug xx

Im just sending all my thoughts to you .. hope they shrink it good and it all goes well for you .. take care and take one day and one problem  at a time and try not to let it overwhelm you ... 

Like you I have this wonderful family who keep me from drowning ... I just feel for anyone going on their journey  on their own ... the op went a lot better then I imagined and I really am o k with it as I was prepared with what it would look like and I thought at my age I can live with that .. 

Take care and thinking of you ... Christie xx

[@Chriss]‍ Hi Chriss,

I've been reading your story and I really admire you, you have been through so much.

I hope you dont mind me contacting you but as you have been through a masectomy I wanted to ask your advice.

I have secondary breast cancer (my history is under my profile) and I'm almost at the end of 6 months of chemo, only 3 weekly sessions left thankfully. Then I will have another PET scan to see if its necessary and also possible to operate. If I have to have a masectomy I have it quite clear (I think!) that I dont want a reconstruction. I'm 63 and dont want to go through any discomfort or further problems due to a reconstruction. I just wanted to ask if you think you made the right decision, does it bring any problems not having the reconstruction, and is the scarring easy on the eye? 
Hoping that you continue to be doing well and enjoying your lovely family. I have 2 children 31 and 27 and I would love them to have children....but I think I am in for a bit of a wait!

Thanks for any advice you can give,

Take care and have a great Easter :)

Hello Mlr86

Sorry to jump on your post replying to our lovely [@Chriss]‍ - I'm sure she'll reply to you soon as she sees your message. 

I just wanted to let you know about an organisation called Flat Friends. They are a charitable organisation set up to support women who have a mastectomy without breast reconstruction, including those who may face such decisions now or in the future. 

If you choose not to reconstruct do have a look at their website. You'll find lots of support and information from women who are living without reconstruction. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi there ...MLr86...

Yea I had mine in 2017 ... I must admit I was scared of looking at first ... I was 63 then to ... and on having a shower the second day after my masectomy,  I felt really quite scared ... so the nurse gently took my top dressing off ... and l must apologise for my warped sense of humour ... but I looked down at my 36DD boob .. then my flat scar ... and honestly my first thought was my big boob saying ... " I know she was on a diet but thats going too far"  

I know it sounds flip but that was honestly what I thought ... and my sense of humour has got me through many things in my life ... and you know it wasn't half as bad ... one of my nieces ,months later said I should ask for a reconstruction.... I had to really sit her down and explain I was fine ... 

I look at that scar and it reminds me of my journey ... it's my war wound ... and I know because of that scar , it gave me time with my amazing family and the light of my life ... my then 5 year old granddaughter Emily.... 

Weeks later she was sitting on my lap watching t.v ...  my falsy slipped ... and quick as a flash she turned round ... pulled back my tee shirt ... saw my scar and yelled " nanny , how you gonna feed babies now" she knew I'd had an op there ... and she was quite o.k with it ... even putting a sponge up her jumper to look like she had one boob to ... and said she's just like nanny now ..

So no... the answer to your question is I'm quite proud of it now ... and it's how you look at life sometimes that will help you through ... let me know if there's anything else you'd like to know ... by the way .. the op was surprisingly very little pain ... couldn't believe a big scar wasn't more painful ... but if you have lymph nodes out .. that arm will be tender and take time to get movement back to normal ...

Good luck ... I'll send you a pair of pink vertual boxing gloves.... get them on ... and together well kick cancers butt.... Chrissie xx

[@Chriss]‍ 

Hi Chrissie,

Thanks so much for your reply. It has helped and I think if I have to make the choice I will choose the same path as you. I also have large boobs 38C and its funny you know, I think I have always known I would lose it one day. I got off lightly the first time around even though I didnt realise it at the time.

I love your sense of humour and its the best way forward, I try to keep upbeat and can manage it most of the time although have the odd 'down' day as do most people.

Well I better get some sleep, I have chemo in the morning Round 10 of 12.

Thanks for sharing your experience and I'll let you know how I get on.

And thanks also for the pink boxing gloves, believe me I'm practising my best punches!

Take care,

Mave xx

[@Moderator Jenn]‍ 

Hi Jenn,

Thank you for the information, I will certainly take a look at Flat Friends! Who would have thought something like that existed?

From what I have read on here you all do a fabulous job and give so much support and help to everyone on this forum.

God bless you all!

Hi Mir,

I just wanted to endorse what Chris has said. I had a lumpectomy to one breast 11 years ago, when I had just turned 60. Within 6 months of the operation I found a large lump in my other breast which fortunately turned out to be benign. Almost a year to the original op, I discovered another lump in the original breast and wasn't so lucky. I opted for a double mastectomy and have never looked back. I felt far happier after this surgery, as I felt that I had done all that I possibly could to get rid of the cancer. 

Unfortunately, I was not a suitable candidate for reconstruction, due to previous non-cancer-related surgery. I manage well with an assortment of breast prostheses for various activities. From what I have read over the years, I am glad that I had both breasts removed, as the complaint I hear most often following a single mastectomy is about the different shapes and sizes of the two areas post-surgery. Like Chrissie, I have certainly never regretted my decision.

I am glad to hear that you are nearing the end of your chemo. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx