Hello Victoriarxr

I'm so sorry to hear about all that you're dealing with at the moment. I think that many of our members here will understand how difficult this period of uncertainty and waiting can be. Add to that all that you've been through with your Dad's diagnosis earlier this year and it's understandable that you're feeling very scared about your appointment on Wednesday. 

I can see from earlier posts that your Dad was given his diagnosis at a late stage. It sounds like it was an incredibly difficult time for you all and it's understandable that this may be influencing how you're feeling at the moment. It's important to remember that everyone's journey with cancer is different and we have many people here on the forum who have been successfully treated for oral cancers and are now living happy and fulfilling lives. 

We know that many people turn to the internet searching for information whilst waiting for a diagnosis. Much of the information available online is inaccurate, out of date, aimed at the spectacular or worst-case scenarios. Please stop Googling. You will not find information to give you answers about your situation but it will feed into how you're feeling and leave you more anxious and worried. 

Under normal circumstances, I'd suggest giving our team of nurses a call to chat through your concerns with them but the office is now closed until Wednesday. Instead, you may find it helpful to have a look at this information on the NHS website which has some advice and tips that may help you to manage some of the thoughts and feelings that you're dealing with right now.

I also wanted to let you know that if you do need to talk with someone then the Samaritans are available 24/7 365 days a year to give a listening ear. 

For now, Victoria, take a deep breath. Be kind to yourself. Don't look too far ahead and take things a day at a time. If a day feels like too much then go hour by hour. We are here to offer any support that we can over the coming days so if you want to post to chat with others or to offload then please do. 

Keep in touch and let us know how things go at your appointment on Wednesday. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Thank you Jenn, the worry is absolutely horrendous. It's Christmas the hardest Christmas our family have ever had to face and now this. My main concern is my family they can't possibly take anymore. I just keep thinking why is this happening. Just when I was coming to terms with my dads death. I feel like it's now my turn. My googling has turned into a horrible obsession. Especially as i had health anxiety for a number of years. Now I feel like the time I didn't check things I've got cancer. My health anxiety seemed to ease the last few months now my days are filled with being on my phone googling absolutely everything to do with mouth cancer. My upper back aches I'm struggling to take deep breaths sore chest. Im Convinced it's in my lungs. I'm going to try my best and think positive till Wednesday. Thank you for your reply. And happy Christmas. 

Hello Victoria

Maybe try physically switching your phone off between certain times of the day or purposely leaving it in another room so you're less tempted to pick it up and Google. 

Try and remember that anxiety in itself can manifest in all sorts of physical symptoms so try and make some time each day to stop and do something that helps you relax. It may be as simple as a bubble bath or going for a quick walk around the block to get some fresh air.

Take things in small steps and the next few days will pass quickly. 

We're here for you. 

Best wishes,
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

How are you doing Victoria? I hope you have had some results back from the hospital. I have the same issues but not much joy in terms of results etc.