Together we will beat cancer


Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 04:05


I've been diagnosed with IDC, Stage 1, grade 2. I am grateful it's been caught early & that there is a route for treatment. I am 41, otherwise a healthy woman. am also aware that others have much worse to deal with. But I'm so so very frightened. I feel like a little girl. I am a single mum to two girls aged 6 & 8 and we've already been through so much trauma as a family. I'm worried how I will cope and how they will. I want to be their mummy and, be able to look after them. I don't know what I'm doing writing this at 4am, but I guess I thought I would put it out there x 

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 07:27 in response to lucyb12

Hi lucyb12 I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular breast cancer on Thursday and this whole process is pretty overwhelming, although I feel a lot lighter now I know what it is and what the plan is. I'm also a single mum and have a 17 year old son who is amazing but I feel for you very much having younger ones and having to cope with this. As parents we just want to protect them don't we. I think the best thing is to be as honest as possible. My son knows everything and I've promised him that will continue regardless of the news but obviously with a six and eight year old that would need to be delivered in an age appropriate way. I think as long as they are showered with love they will cope and so will you my friend. This group seems full of very caring people and I think you should always talk about your concerns, please don't feel that you are alone in this because you aren't. Do you have a supportive circle of people around you? Hope you've managed to get some sleep Xx 

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 16:22 in response to lucyb12

Do get in touch with the Macmillen nurses they are wonderful stay positive stay strong x

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 16:54 in response to lobelia

Thank you so much, I have done that today x

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 19:59 in response to lucyb12

Hi Lucy

I know you must be feeling very frightened right now but please be assured you will be OK.  I was diagnosed with IDC almost 4 years ago, literally 2 weeks after losing my mum to breast cancer.   I was only 47 at the time, I've always been fit and healthy,  I run 3 times a week, never smoked and honestly I was asking why me? I'm also a single mum and was petrified that I wouldn't be around to see my kids grow up.  And I'm still here.  Has your consultant told you if you're having surgery first or chemo first? Don't be afraid to ask LOTS of questions.  Yes it sounds scary buy your oncologist will give you a treatment plan and discuss your options of a cold cap or a wig.  I decided against the cold cap as my friend used one and it gave her a lot of headaches.  My lovely hairdresser cut my hair, I donated it to the little princess trust and then she shaved my head.  I embraced being bald over the summer and loved wearing pretty scarves.  You'll need a lot.of support from family and friends to help you with your children, especially on the days when you feel exhausted from the chemo and you want to stay in bed.  If you need any tips, advice or generally just want to chat then please message me.  Take care and good luck xxxx

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 20:13 in response to lucyb12

Lucy I had chemo 10 years ago now.  Once you start the treatment the support offered is excellent. That was my experience. You are told who to contact if necessary and indeed the MacMillan nurse maintains contact with you at all stages of treatment. It's hard that there is no doubt but you will get there. Time passes quickly and before you know it chemo will finish. 
my very best wishes to you. Kind regards. X

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 20:20 in response to wilan

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I really appreciate your message x

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 20:21 in response to RunningSue42

Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm very sorry to hear about your mum. 

I've been told 6 months chemo, operation, then radiotherapy xx 

Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 20:32 in response to lucyb12

Please don't be scared, you will have a great team to take care of you and you will have a macmillan nurse too. Anything you need to ask or just for advice please don't hesitate to ask 

Take care and good luck

Sue xxx







Petrified of chemo

28 Jan 2023 21:22 in response to lucyb12

I really appreciate your kind supportive words. They have helped me tonight xx

Petrified of chemo

29 Jan 2023 03:08 in response to lucyb12

Dear Lucy,

My situation is so similar to yours. I'm 41 with a 4 year old son and I was diagnosed with IDC, stage one grade two, lumpectomy in Nov and about to embark on 4 rounds of EC chemo, 3 weeks apart (first infusion on Friday 3rd Feb) and then radio in May. 

Like you, I'm utterly petrified of chemo. I feel more scared now then when I was first diagnosed. 

So I don't know how much help I can be! But I wanted to let you know I hear you and I'm with you. We can do this together. 

Michelle x

Petrified of chemo

29 Jan 2023 06:10 in response to MichelleLaraC

Hello Michelle,


Thank you for your message. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. 
The fear is very very overwhelming and not being able to protect my children from seeing their mummy go through this is so hard. Xx

Petrified of chemo

29 Jan 2023 06:15 in response to KLF49

Thank you so much for your encouraging reply. I'm sorry that you're going through this also.

My little girls have already been through so much, which is another reason I'm finding it so tough. Like you say, I want to protect them but some things I just can't. I haven't told them yet- trying to get my own head around it first. 
I do have a good family around me and friends that love me and a new (!) boyfriend, so I'm grateful for that. Xx

Petrified of chemo

29 Jan 2023 11:24 in response to lucyb12

Not being able to protect the children is the TOUGHEST part by far. So far my son has been unaware, apart from after the lumpectomy when I told him not to jump on me because of my 'ouchy boob'. And I just can't bring myself to talk to him about mummy being sick, or can't play because I'm tired, or why my hair is falling out.

One thing that has helped me is talking to other mums who've been through it. Most that I've spoken to have said it's very doable. And yes it's hard, but actually, having the kids helps you not overthink because we simply don't have the time. So I'm going into this with the expectation that my son will keep me distracted and while he's at school I will just sleep.

When do you start chemo hun? X

Petrified of chemo

29 Jan 2023 11:48 in response to lucyb12

Hi lucyb112,

I was diagnosed with grade 3, IDC last Tuesday and have my wide local excision this Wednesday coming.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and if you ever need to chat, I'm here. I am 44 and have three boys, 20, 16 and 13 and understand how difficult it must be with children that are younger. 

After surgery, I'll be having chemo, I'm really worried about the side effects too  

You will be a brilliant Mommy to your girls regardless of what you will have to face and you'll show them how to kick cancers ***!!

We've got this x