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paranasal sinus cancer

Monica29
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Hi,

My mum has recently undergone tests in relation to being diagnosed with stage 2 possibly stage 3 paranasal sinus cancer. The doctors are adamant it is a malignant tumour in the roof of her mouth after it’s eaten away her nasal bone and now there’s a hole in her hard palate. I was wondering if anyone has any advice or knowledge on how to deal with this.

Me and my mum have been so close since I was little we’ve always had such a special bond, she has three kids, myself and my two older brothers but she always said she wanted a girl and when I was born that unbreakable bond was formed. I almost resent the fact she’s been such a fantastic mum and best friend to be because if she had just been a bad mum to me this would be easier to deal with. My world has been thrown upside down. I feel guilty saying it because all she wants is good health but I can’t help falling asleep at night, every night wishing that I will wake up and have this illness instead of her and there’s not a morning where I don’t wake up  wishing it had all been a sick dream. I find myself crying all the time and it’s so bad I can’t even talk to my mum as I know I will cry my eyes out and she will be scared. She keeps saying she is not afraid of dying she just is scared of leaving me behind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Thank you in advance to whoever reads this post sorry for taking up so much of your time.

  • Offline

    Hello Monica29; welcome to the forum.  I am pleased you have come here because you obviously need some help to find the strength to care for your mum.  I am sure you don't want your mum to have to be worrying about you in this situation.  So well done for reaching out.  I am not saying there is an easy way through this but if you read some of the posts you will see how many people have gone down this road.  It is many years now since my own mum died from cancer and I know how difficult it is to hold up when with your mum.  Even though we know our parents are likely to die before ourselves we can never be prepared for the actuality of it happening. 

    You want to get to a position where you can care for your mum and not the other way round.  Are you close to your brothers?  I am asking because if the three of you - and any other family or friends - can work together to give support to each other when one of you needs help.  I am also attaching a link to a part of this website that deals with getting help for yourself as a carer.  I hope you will make use of any sources of help as this will help your mum not to worry so much about you.  Please keep posting here - there will times when you need help and I so much hope that you can get the help you need and in turn you can concentrate on your mum. 

    http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/family-friends-caregivers/taking-care-of-yourself

    Annie

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Hi,

    I’m very sorry to hear about your mum. It’s commendable that you are helping people who are experiencing a similar situation to what you have gone through to come to terms and deal with it. Thank you for your quick response, just having a response has helped me already I feel it’s difficult to speak about with other people but it’s a lot easier via this forum. Thank you for the link I will definitely pass it along to my brothers as well. I am close with them however, they do not live with me and my mum and I don’t want to burden them with more stress than they already have, although I’m the youngest I’ve always felt I need to look after them how my mum always has. It’s just a difficult situation as my mum has been insisting we all get along in this situation but it’s difficult to not get annoyed and frustrated with the fact they aren’t getting up and helping out as much as they could without being told by someone.

    Thanks again for your response.

     

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