Hello katie926,

Thank you for sharing your dad's story in detail - what a whirlwind of emotions this year has brought you and your family and how incredible that your dad got so much better, responded so well to chemotherapy treatment and gained weight again. A special moment it must have been for your sister that he got to walk her down the aisle.

It must have then come as a shock to you that he developed a problem with his kidneys and had to be hospitalized. Feeling that you are back to square one despite all the progress he had made must be incredibly frustrating.

Thank you for your inspirational words which I am sure will give courage to many going through similar treatment. It is normal to feel lost after this latest setbacks but I hope you will see that light at the end of the tunnel again.

I will now let others who have a similar story to tell come and share their thoughts with you.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi my dads just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 4. Do you have any advice or anything for me I’m really scared. 

What stage was your dad when he was told? 

Hello,

First of all, I'm sorry you've just had to sit through that appointment and hear that diagnosis about your dad.. I know how hard that is to even do. My dad was also stage 4.. almost every pancreatic cancer diagnosis is at stage 4 because its one of those things where no simptomsappear until very late on in the illness. Im sure you already have googled it, but all I can say is not everyone is a statistic.

I thought (still do really), that we were dealt the worst hand in the world.. out of all the cancers why did my dad have to get this one. He was diagnosed back in October of last year, and back then they told us that he would be lucky to see Christmas and will only be given chemo as  pallative care- just to make his last couple of months slightly more painless..

Fast forward to January- he had just finished Chemo number 6 out of 12 and was booked in for a ct scan just to see if it had actually done anything. and the tumour had shrunk by half and now the doctors were saying that his incurabe cancer now had the possibility of being removed by operation.

Thing is, you hear cancer- especially pancreatic cancer- and you think okay thats it then, and prepare for the worst. But honestly, if your dad decides to have treatment you never know what it will do. You seem to be in a similar situation, that I was in last year with timings etc.. so honestly make the most of this Christmas with your dad. Dont think about next year, just make this year the best one yet. -if someone had said that to me I would have been really sad thinking that 'I need to make the most of it because it might be his last' .. dont look at it like that, because you really never know- Just make the  most of the celebrations before things get worse or before treatment starts..

The doctors will help you through everything, so you will never be alone. They will advice you on everything and give you all the medication/prescriptions you need. I have had conact with Macmillan nurses, and they are so lovely.. you can call them at anytime because they want to be there for the families as much as the patient.

Sorry to bombared you with text haha... hope it helpls in someway.. please message again if you want/need or would like to ask anything- Ive been through it all so can always tell you my experience and try to help a little. xx

Hi I really appreciate hearing this. 

Had your dads spread or was it just the pancreas? 

I’m scared, I can’t sleep. He’s lost a lot of weight and is struggling to eat. I’ve been told it’s very bad and severe. 

please tell me your story xxxx 

Hiya- if you looked at the other posts ive upoloaded on my page you will kind of get the full story of what my dad and our family went through.

My dad also lost a lot of weight.. he was in great shape beforehand but still lost around 30/40kgs and was sooo skinny.. He really struggled to eat until he started treatment, eventually he got his appetite back enough to eat small meals regularly. He said food tasted awful, so i found chatting to him whilst he ate a good distraction. and he wasnt great at cooking for himself because he would never fancy anything, so literally just put the food infront of him then he doesnt have a chance to think about it! Also ask about fortisip drinks- my dad had those- they are like little milkshakes but have so many calories in them.. your doctor should give you a prescription.

I think all pancreatic cancer diagnosis are bad and severe, because its unfortuently one of those cancers that doesnt get picked up until its too late because of the lack of symtoms. My dad was given a couple of months without the chance of getting better- basically chemo was supposed to do nothing for him, but I think they wanted to give him a chance being so young- but it worked wonders.

Trust me, I know how frightening all of this is. Its all such a quick turnaround with pancreatic cancer, because the majority of the time you dont know anything until its too late. So its such a whirlwind to get your head around everything.. The one thing that made me okay, was to just get on with everything for my dad. I didnt want him to feel scared or sad, so I did everything in my power to stop that from happening. Of course, we did sit and cry occasionally, but I think you kind of have too- thats completely normal and just part of trying to register whats happening.

How old are you, if you dont mind me asking? Do you and your dad have a good support system? Im always here if you have any questions- obviously I dont know 100% what im talking about- Im just going off what my dad went through, but I can answer you from that perspective. Message me if you want to chat or anything xo

We went to the meeting today. They said it’s spread a lot and it’s incurable. My dads having a lot of constipation and just cannot gonto the toilet this has been the case for weeks was it the same in your dads case? He’s having a biopsy on Monday. 

Hes reallr scared about that. They also said it would be about two weeks until we got referred to Christie’s to see if he is even able to have chemo at all. I’m so upset. 

Im 25, and have a ten month old baby. Family wise my brother is up at the moment but doesn’t live close. And my mum lives on the other words of the world! I have support from dads brother and sister but I feel so alone even though I’m not. I’ve read your story and I’m really touched, I think it’s lovely that your dad got to walk down the isle. I hope for that too. Xx

Ah I'm so sorry to hear that. Its really *** isnt it, no other word for it.

Because of where the pancreas is in the body it seems to mess up the stomach (hence the symptoms of no appeitite etc) which then effects the digestive system etc (hence the constipation)- My dad didnt have many side effects from the cancer itself really but had alot of annoyances bought on by chemo and one was constipation. As long as you inform the doctors they will gve out appropriate laxitives and suggest things your dad can eat that will help. Honestly they have seen everything, so they will be able to help with whatever you need. There were times my dad needed laxitives and then basically needed the opposite to stop diarrheoa. Regardeless of whether or not your dad has treatment, they will never leave him feeling uncomfortable. Its their job to make sure that whatever happens he remains comfortable. 

It is the worst thing to go through- for your entire family.. and if someone told me a couple of years ago what I'd have to live through theres no way I'd every think that I would be able too. But you just do, and you do it for your dad. You've obviously got alot on your plate, and with a baby too.. if you are feeling alone please message me whenever you like. I've been talking to another girl on here alot at the moment, so Im basically online everyday xx 

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your Dads diagnoses. My Dad was diagnosed in May, however they never told us what stage but as far as we knew at the time it hadn't spread anywhere. My Dad is 80, so surgery was not an option, even though he wanted it. He's  had about 6 or 7 rounds of chemo. At first, he had no side effects which was fantastic, however now he has been hospitalised for 3 weeks with erratic heart rate, low blood count and high blood pressure which they were struggling to control. He's on heart pills, injections for blood clots and antibiotics for an infection (neurotropenc sepsis). This has all been caused by the chemo, we think. Which means chemo has to stop. We are all devastated! My Dad thinks well that's it, they've given up on him and is stressed. Mainly for being in hospital, and just wanting to go home. 

We now don't know what to expect and how long we have. I especially, am scared of the thought of losing my Dad, and what affect this is going to have on my mum and the rest of the family :-(

Ah I'm so sorry to hear what your dad and your family are currently going through. Chemos a really tough thing to go through, because when you think about it its effectively a posion. We had many occasions where there was a very fine line as to whether my dad was healthy enough to have chemo. You've obviously gone through it, but every fortnight my dad would have his bloods checked, and if anything was slightly irregular chemo would be cancelled. Just because it could end up doing more bad than good. My dad did get to the point where they decided chemo wasnt an option anymore, and to be honest that made everything alot more peacful for him. There were no more hospital appointments- which is quite alot to deal with not just emotionally but physically as my dad would get very tired from the waiting around and walking from the carpark etc- no more side effects and no more pressure to make sure he was eating and well enough to have chemo. Its horrible and a really really hard time, but if its any consolation.. if I can get through it you can too. Two years ago if someone told me this is what was going to happen and that I'd have to watch my dad struggle like I did, I would have abolutely said theres no way I can do that. But you'd be surprised, you get on with it the whole way through for the sake of your dad- which I'm sure youve been doing. Sorry it took me a couple of days to reply.. how are you all doing at the moment?x