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Pancreatic Cancer

12 Oct 2017 12:33

Hi, I thought I would write on here to speak to people who probably know how Im feeling.

My dad was in hospital for 2 months back in the summer, but has been home for about a month now.

He had two major operations which left him in ICU. Thinking that was the worst thing, yesterday it got worse. It was confirmed that he has pancreatic cancer. And the doctors gave the prognosis that without chemo he will have just a few short months & with chemo he will have on average a year. They decided he was strong enough for chemo after a lot of consideration, so he is having a round once every two weeks bascially just to make his quality of life better (if it works).

Saying I am devastated would be an understatement. My dad is and always has been my favourite person in the whole world. He has the best soul ive ever come across. How he raised me is exactly how I want to raise my children in the future. He seriously is everything I could have wished for in a dad.

Im 22 and he is only 64 so I feel like our time together is really going to be cut short. I want my dad here forever, but its just so sad thinking he wont see me graduate, wont know what job i'll have, wont see me get married and wont meet my children. And its so painful because I know he will be thinking the same. 

Please feel free to reply. Its really comforting reading through this site and seeing how many people are dealing with this like this and that are coping, bevause right now i really feel like thats impossible. 

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

12 Oct 2017 18:43 in response to katie926

Hi there Katie ... so so sorry bout your dads diagnosis.... it’s the news we all dread, but so many are given ... this cancer doesn’t care who it gets ... and there’s lots having to go on their cancer journey... I wish I could make it o.k, but sadly there’s no easy way through .. all I can tell you is my story ..

my dad worked down the pits for 40odd years ... he got a chronic lung condition, where there was no cure ... he was a gentle dad, never even remembering him telling us off ... he was pure magic ... but slowly over two years fading away from us ... looking back, I just looked to far ahead and was, in my head, I couldn’t get the thought of him going from us ... if only I’d have stopped and said, he’s here today .. and made the most of them days, just holding his hand and telling him , I was so proud to have him as my dad.... I should have not wasted a day... I could have listened to his feelings, even should have shared a few tears ... I should have walked that last path, holding his hand through those days ... I’ll never get the chance .. 

im about your dads age , and have brest cancer, but I will make the most of every day and will find things to smile about ... I’ve got my little grand kids, and when I think of them, I do feel teary ... but I’m doing everything I can to make lasting memories, so they’ll remember good things ... I’ve prepaired my son and we’ve left nothing unsaid ... and I’ve warned him ... it’s o.k to miss me, but if I look down, he’d better be making the most of his life, and look after his lil uns... and give them hugs for me ... but like your dad, I hope there’s still a wee bit of time yet ... 

you will have up days and down days and feel lots of different feelings that this journey brings ... it’s normal ... but every time you make a good memory, your kicking cancer up the rear... coz it wants to keep you down and we won’t give it that satisfaction... so I’m sending you a huge great hug Chrisie xx

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

13 Oct 2017 17:50 in response to Chriss

Hi Chrisie. Thank you so much for replying and telling your story. Your dad sounds very much like mine. I found it a bit easier to be strong today for him. He is obviously very upset but like you said hes here now. I was just focusing on that. Ill have forever to be sad when hes gone but right now he needs positivity. Hoping i can stay in that mindset!! You sounds like a very strong person, who is doing amazingly well. Im sure your son is very proud of you. Sending you a hug back.. XX

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

15 Oct 2017 10:53 in response to katie926
Hi Katie I read your post and it brought tears to my eyes to. Know that someone else is suffering the way I am too. You see, my dad has also been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it has hit me like a tonne of bricks. I have no shame in admitting I am a massive daddies girl and I just cannot even begin to process the thought of him not being around. He's so young- only 62 and he is my absolute rock. I truly am sorry you are going through this too. Perhaps if there's anyway to charge details we could chat privately, to offer each other support x

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

16 Oct 2017 13:32 in response to kellylg

Hi Kelly,

I feel like we have the same relationship with our dads completely. Im so sorry for you and your dad too, its utterly heart breaking isnt it. Feel free to private message me on here then maybe we can whatsapp or something? would be nice to have someone to talk to without feeling like upsetting my family etcxx

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

8 Nov 2017 09:05 in response to katie926

Hi Katie,

I hope you don' mind me joining in your post, I'm living this nightmare too, only with my Uncle who is 69, an active man who had the devastating news like a bolt from the blue. He has had chemo the aggressive form and has had 12 cycles now. He however has had breaks in between and is taking charge of his own body , he told the oncologist he wanted 3 months off it despite them wanting to continue as it had shrunk it by half. In that time he has been abroad going to football matches. It not been easy with the side affects from the chemo. Unfortunately there is no happy ending to this. So do everything with your dad, make special memories never give up hope as I feel the mind is a very powerful tool. I do find strength from  reading other stories you don' feel so alone knowing someone else understands , the battle continues as he has had another problem to deal with. However enough of me im happy to chat anytime too don' feel on your own. Stay strong x

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

10 Nov 2017 15:39 in response to TAJ28

Hiya, thank you for taking the time to share your story with me! It sounds like we have had a very similar experience. My dad is also have 12 rounds of the strong chemo. Thats great that your uncles tumour had shrunk by half, how is he now? Is he in the duration of his 3 months off?

I dont really let myself think negativly about this all anymore, of course some days it creeps up on me but usually im quite positive. My dad has really leaned on me throughout all of this so i guess that makes it easier, just have to keep on going for his sake. Sometimes i think ive got to the point where im slightly deluded, like youve said theres no good ending to these stories but I feel like that doesnt even register to me anymore. If any of that makes sense!

it would be nice to keep chatting because like you said it helps you to fee like youre not the only one going throught it all x

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

10 Nov 2017 19:32 in response to katie926

Hi there katie  ... I'm so very proud of you and all the other stories on here ... I wish someone had told me thelse things while my dad was here .. and my mum went suddenly with a heart attack, she phoned me in the morning and the last thing she said was see ya tomorrow, love .... she died that afternoon ... it's the annerversary on the 11th Nov tomorrow.. but in my head I will see her again ,one of these tomorrow's...

Any ways hope you all hold on in there ... you will look back and wonder just how you managed ... we are stronger then we think ... big big hug to all of you on here ... bless yards hearts ... bet there's some proud parents that love you lots to bits ... but don't forget having a few tears along the way , let's of some emotional feelings too xx chrisie  

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

21 Nov 2017 00:32 in response to Chriss

Hi Chrisie,

im so sorry, i did reply to you but it must not have gone through and ive only just logged back in!

I hope the 11th went as good as it could have gone for you. What a poinent day to remember your mum. 

Its crazy isnt it, we just dont realise how strong we are until we are face to face with something like this.

 

Thank you so much for your kind words.. big hug to you too. Hopefully chat some more soon.. xX

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

21 Nov 2017 19:03 in response to katie926

Hello Katie, 

I've just come across your post and had to leave you a message. I really am so sorry about the news you have recently received regarding your Dad, I hope that your dad does well with his chemotherapy and he is around for as long as possible. Unfortunately for you there is nothing you can do for your lovely Dad apart from give him love and support and whilst he is well make some memories, take photos and videos. 

I sympathise with you grately and if you do want to talk to someone who understands please feel free to message me any time. Back in April 2015 when I was 26 (now 28) my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 'incurable' bowel cancer which had spread to his lungs and liver. So we had the understanding that no amount of chemotherapy etc was going to cure him and he would eventually die from his cancer. He did quite well over those two years but did become unwell at yimes leaving him hospitalised and nearly dying one of those times. September last year he celebrated his 65th birthday and looked better that ever and was doing really well the cancer had stabilised meaning it hadn't got any worse and some of it had even shrunk a little. Then towards the end of March this year he started behaving oddly forgetting things and my mum knew something was wrong so took him to the hospital. That very same day they said they noticed something on his brain and we was eventually told his cancer had travelled to his brain. He had a brain op but that didn't make no difference. We was eventually told in May that he was terminal and he isn't going to be the same again. Over the summer he deteoriated rapidly going from around 15 stone to around 8 stone and unfortunately he died on the 23rd August at home. I was there with him and the rest of my family and I will never forget that. However I am glad I was there with him because he was there when I took my first breath and I was there to see him take his last. It is very painful but somehow you just get through each and every day. He's been gone 3 months now and I feep sad that he is going to miss so much that me and my brother and sister will do and achieve in our lives. But it is a little comforting knowing that others understand and can relate. Xx 

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

21 Nov 2017 20:21 in response to katie926

Hi Katie, 

My mum suffered from cancer and for a while was doing really well on radiotherapy and chemotherapy. These treatments, even though they are hard to go through, can be extremely effective. I was very young both when my mum was diagnosed and when she passed (17 and then 18) and I too felt like my time with her had been cut very very short. She didn't get to see me go to Law school, or get good grades. She won't be there to see me getting married or meet her grandchildren etc, and my whole life she had been so excited to see all of these things happen. 

Anyways, if you ever need to talk, lemme know x

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

23 Nov 2017 06:48 in response to katie926

Hi Katie

I'm sorry at the age of 22 you've heard the words Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer  On April 2, 2017 my husband 53 years old and I were sitting in an Oncologist office when the Oncologist said you have Pancreatic Cancerand and it has metastasized to your lung and liver however it is treatable not curable.  Surgery in your case is not an option.  He went on to say with Chemo three months without one year.  If you so choose Chemo we need to start immediately.  They would do one day of Chemo a week for three weeks with one week off.

our nephew who is 30 was with us at the doctors office with us since he lived in the city where the doctor we were referred to office is.

we went to our nephews apartment because we stayed there while meeting with Oncologist's and having blood work done.  We called my husband's father on speaker phone and our nephew told him what the oncologist said. My husband looked at me and said "did you know the oncologist meant I only had three months to live without Chemo and up to one year to live with Chemo?"  I said yes.  The next phone calls were to our children.  Two boys 23 years old and a 21 year old daughter.

we had been married 13 years and telling our children was very difficult because my husband had never been sick a day in his life.

I pray you are not his only caregiver.  Pancreatic Cancer is ugly.  I was fortunate that we were empty nesters.  I had to learn definitions to words I had never heard before and trying to arrange his meds around meal times.  While doing this I couldn't cry because it would upset him.  If our children had still lived at home I don't know how I would have cared for him while and trying to remind our children to keep the faith only God knows how much time a person has left.

we were in and out of the hospital due to complications.  Trying to keep our Chemo appointments but we're told several times his platelet count was to low for Chemo.

on November 2, 2017 my husband passed away at home with us by his side.  So when I said Pancreatic Cancer is ugly I meant it because I saw it every day.

if you need someone who understands exactly what you are going thru I'm here for you.  You can talk to me, ask questions, pray with you or for your father, or someone to cry with please know I'm here and you can lean on me or yell at me.  Trust me having someone to yell at does help.

 

 

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

23 Nov 2017 22:52 in response to loosingit

Hi There.

I am so so sorry for your loss, its such a sad and rubbish thing to go through but thank you for taking the time to share your story with me.

Its all just so hard to process isnt it. Makes me wonder what I actually had to worry about before all of this. Makes everything else seem so unimportant.

I hope you and your children are doing okay, or as well as you possible can be doing in a time like this.

Thank you so much for your kind words, it honestly means alot to me knowing theres people like you out there who are willing to help me through this.

 

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

23 Nov 2017 23:00 in response to Butterfly89

Hello there, thank you so much for leaving me a message. I honestly really appreciate your kind words.

Im so so sorry for your loss of your dad. Youre so brave going through all of that and still having the courage to be with him right till the end. Im sure he would be so proud of you.

Its amazing how many people have similar stories & i feel the same, its so comforting having people to speak to who understand exactly.

hopefully speak soon xx

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

23 Nov 2017 23:04 in response to HolN97

Hello.

I'm so sorry for your loss, beyond rubbish isnt it. I know its one of those things that will always be **** but when you feel like times been cut so short its even worse.

Did your mum pass recently? Im sure she'd be so proud of you and happy for you with all of your achievements at law school.

thank you for the message, hopefully we can chat some more soon x