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Pancreatic Cancer

12 Oct 2017 12:33

Hi, I thought I would write on here to speak to people who probably know how Im feeling.

My dad was in hospital for 2 months back in the summer, but has been home for about a month now.

He had two major operations which left him in ICU. Thinking that was the worst thing, yesterday it got worse. It was confirmed that he has pancreatic cancer. And the doctors gave the prognosis that without chemo he will have just a few short months & with chemo he will have on average a year. They decided he was strong enough for chemo after a lot of consideration, so he is having a round once every two weeks bascially just to make his quality of life better (if it works).

Saying I am devastated would be an understatement. My dad is and always has been my favourite person in the whole world. He has the best soul ive ever come across. How he raised me is exactly how I want to raise my children in the future. He seriously is everything I could have wished for in a dad.

Im 22 and he is only 64 so I feel like our time together is really going to be cut short. I want my dad here forever, but its just so sad thinking he wont see me graduate, wont know what job i'll have, wont see me get married and wont meet my children. And its so painful because I know he will be thinking the same. 

Please feel free to reply. Its really comforting reading through this site and seeing how many people are dealing with this like this and that are coping, bevause right now i really feel like thats impossible. 

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

12 Oct 2017 18:43 in response to katie926

Hi there Katie ... so so sorry bout your dads diagnosis.... it’s the news we all dread, but so many are given ... this cancer doesn’t care who it gets ... and there’s lots having to go on their cancer journey... I wish I could make it o.k, but sadly there’s no easy way through .. all I can tell you is my story ..

my dad worked down the pits for 40odd years ... he got a chronic lung condition, where there was no cure ... he was a gentle dad, never even remembering him telling us off ... he was pure magic ... but slowly over two years fading away from us ... looking back, I just looked to far ahead and was, in my head, I couldn’t get the thought of him going from us ... if only I’d have stopped and said, he’s here today .. and made the most of them days, just holding his hand and telling him , I was so proud to have him as my dad.... I should have not wasted a day... I could have listened to his feelings, even should have shared a few tears ... I should have walked that last path, holding his hand through those days ... I’ll never get the chance .. 

im about your dads age , and have brest cancer, but I will make the most of every day and will find things to smile about ... I’ve got my little grand kids, and when I think of them, I do feel teary ... but I’m doing everything I can to make lasting memories, so they’ll remember good things ... I’ve prepaired my son and we’ve left nothing unsaid ... and I’ve warned him ... it’s o.k to miss me, but if I look down, he’d better be making the most of his life, and look after his lil uns... and give them hugs for me ... but like your dad, I hope there’s still a wee bit of time yet ... 

you will have up days and down days and feel lots of different feelings that this journey brings ... it’s normal ... but every time you make a good memory, your kicking cancer up the rear... coz it wants to keep you down and we won’t give it that satisfaction... so I’m sending you a huge great hug Chrisie xx

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

13 Oct 2017 17:50 in response to Chriss

Hi Chrisie. Thank you so much for replying and telling your story. Your dad sounds very much like mine. I found it a bit easier to be strong today for him. He is obviously very upset but like you said hes here now. I was just focusing on that. Ill have forever to be sad when hes gone but right now he needs positivity. Hoping i can stay in that mindset!! You sounds like a very strong person, who is doing amazingly well. Im sure your son is very proud of you. Sending you a hug back.. XX

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

15 Oct 2017 10:53 in response to katie926
Hi Katie I read your post and it brought tears to my eyes to. Know that someone else is suffering the way I am too. You see, my dad has also been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it has hit me like a tonne of bricks. I have no shame in admitting I am a massive daddies girl and I just cannot even begin to process the thought of him not being around. He's so young- only 62 and he is my absolute rock. I truly am sorry you are going through this too. Perhaps if there's anyway to charge details we could chat privately, to offer each other support x

Re: Pancreatic Cancer

16 Oct 2017 13:32 in response to kellylg

Hi Kelly,

I feel like we have the same relationship with our dads completely. Im so sorry for you and your dad too, its utterly heart breaking isnt it. Feel free to private message me on here then maybe we can whatsapp or something? would be nice to have someone to talk to without feeling like upsetting my family etcxx