Hi there Katie ... so so sorry bout your dads diagnosis.... it’s the news we all dread, but so many are given ... this cancer doesn’t care who it gets ... and there’s lots having to go on their cancer journey... I wish I could make it o.k, but sadly there’s no easy way through .. all I can tell you is my story ..

my dad worked down the pits for 40odd years ... he got a chronic lung condition, where there was no cure ... he was a gentle dad, never even remembering him telling us off ... he was pure magic ... but slowly over two years fading away from us ... looking back, I just looked to far ahead and was, in my head, I couldn’t get the thought of him going from us ... if only I’d have stopped and said, he’s here today .. and made the most of them days, just holding his hand and telling him , I was so proud to have him as my dad.... I should have not wasted a day... I could have listened to his feelings, even should have shared a few tears ... I should have walked that last path, holding his hand through those days ... I’ll never get the chance .. 

im about your dads age , and have brest cancer, but I will make the most of every day and will find things to smile about ... I’ve got my little grand kids, and when I think of them, I do feel teary ... but I’m doing everything I can to make lasting memories, so they’ll remember good things ... I’ve prepaired my son and we’ve left nothing unsaid ... and I’ve warned him ... it’s o.k to miss me, but if I look down, he’d better be making the most of his life, and look after his lil uns... and give them hugs for me ... but like your dad, I hope there’s still a wee bit of time yet ... 

you will have up days and down days and feel lots of different feelings that this journey brings ... it’s normal ... but every time you make a good memory, your kicking cancer up the rear... coz it wants to keep you down and we won’t give it that satisfaction... so I’m sending you a huge great hug Chrisie xx

Hi Chrisie. Thank you so much for replying and telling your story. Your dad sounds very much like mine. I found it a bit easier to be strong today for him. He is obviously very upset but like you said hes here now. I was just focusing on that. Ill have forever to be sad when hes gone but right now he needs positivity. Hoping i can stay in that mindset!! You sounds like a very strong person, who is doing amazingly well. Im sure your son is very proud of you. Sending you a hug back.. XX

Hi Kelly,

I feel like we have the same relationship with our dads completely. Im so sorry for you and your dad too, its utterly heart breaking isnt it. Feel free to private message me on here then maybe we can whatsapp or something? would be nice to have someone to talk to without feeling like upsetting my family etcxx

Hi Katie,

I hope you don' mind me joining in your post, I'm living this nightmare too, only with my Uncle who is 69, an active man who had the devastating news like a bolt from the blue. He has had chemo the aggressive form and has had 12 cycles now. He however has had breaks in between and is taking charge of his own body , he told the oncologist he wanted 3 months off it despite them wanting to continue as it had shrunk it by half. In that time he has been abroad going to football matches. It not been easy with the side affects from the chemo. Unfortunately there is no happy ending to this. So do everything with your dad, make special memories never give up hope as I feel the mind is a very powerful tool. I do find strength from  reading other stories you don' feel so alone knowing someone else understands , the battle continues as he has had another problem to deal with. However enough of me im happy to chat anytime too don' feel on your own. Stay strong x

Hiya, thank you for taking the time to share your story with me! It sounds like we have had a very similar experience. My dad is also have 12 rounds of the strong chemo. Thats great that your uncles tumour had shrunk by half, how is he now? Is he in the duration of his 3 months off?

I dont really let myself think negativly about this all anymore, of course some days it creeps up on me but usually im quite positive. My dad has really leaned on me throughout all of this so i guess that makes it easier, just have to keep on going for his sake. Sometimes i think ive got to the point where im slightly deluded, like youve said theres no good ending to these stories but I feel like that doesnt even register to me anymore. If any of that makes sense!

it would be nice to keep chatting because like you said it helps you to fee like youre not the only one going throught it all x

Hi there katie  ... I'm so very proud of you and all the other stories on here ... I wish someone had told me thelse things while my dad was here .. and my mum went suddenly with a heart attack, she phoned me in the morning and the last thing she said was see ya tomorrow, love .... she died that afternoon ... it's the annerversary on the 11th Nov tomorrow.. but in my head I will see her again ,one of these tomorrow's...

Any ways hope you all hold on in there ... you will look back and wonder just how you managed ... we are stronger then we think ... big big hug to all of you on here ... bless yards hearts ... bet there's some proud parents that love you lots to bits ... but don't forget having a few tears along the way , let's of some emotional feelings too xx chrisie  

Hi Chrisie,

im so sorry, i did reply to you but it must not have gone through and ive only just logged back in!

I hope the 11th went as good as it could have gone for you. What a poinent day to remember your mum. 

Its crazy isnt it, we just dont realise how strong we are until we are face to face with something like this.

Thank you so much for your kind words.. big hug to you too. Hopefully chat some more soon.. xX

Hello Katie, 

I've just come across your post and had to leave you a message. I really am so sorry about the news you have recently received regarding your Dad, I hope that your dad does well with his chemotherapy and he is around for as long as possible. Unfortunately for you there is nothing you can do for your lovely Dad apart from give him love and support and whilst he is well make some memories, take photos and videos. 

I sympathise with you grately and if you do want to talk to someone who understands please feel free to message me any time. Back in April 2015 when I was 26 (now 28) my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 'incurable' bowel cancer which had spread to his lungs and liver. So we had the understanding that no amount of chemotherapy etc was going to cure him and he would eventually die from his cancer. He did quite well over those two years but did become unwell at yimes leaving him hospitalised and nearly dying one of those times. September last year he celebrated his 65th birthday and looked better that ever and was doing really well the cancer had stabilised meaning it hadn't got any worse and some of it had even shrunk a little. Then towards the end of March this year he started behaving oddly forgetting things and my mum knew something was wrong so took him to the hospital. That very same day they said they noticed something on his brain and we was eventually told his cancer had travelled to his brain. He had a brain op but that didn't make no difference. We was eventually told in May that he was terminal and he isn't going to be the same again. Over the summer he deteoriated rapidly going from around 15 stone to around 8 stone and unfortunately he died on the 23rd August at home. I was there with him and the rest of my family and I will never forget that. However I am glad I was there with him because he was there when I took my first breath and I was there to see him take his last. It is very painful but somehow you just get through each and every day. He's been gone 3 months now and I feep sad that he is going to miss so much that me and my brother and sister will do and achieve in our lives. But it is a little comforting knowing that others understand and can relate. Xx 

Hi Katie, 

My mum suffered from cancer and for a while was doing really well on radiotherapy and chemotherapy. These treatments, even though they are hard to go through, can be extremely effective. I was very young both when my mum was diagnosed and when she passed (17 and then 18) and I too felt like my time with her had been cut very very short. She didn't get to see me go to Law school, or get good grades. She won't be there to see me getting married or meet her grandchildren etc, and my whole life she had been so excited to see all of these things happen. 

Anyways, if you ever need to talk, lemme know x