Hi.

 cancer hurt family and friends as well as the person with cancer,

But with cancer that person has no control over there lives so some take it out on on nearest and dearest.

Have you thought about MacMillan or Marie curie.

They have help lines or just to talk.

Sometimes you have to Go through the Dr or specialist to get sorted.

Hope you can get something sorted soon.

Best wishes.

Billy

Thank you Billy.  The control bit makes total sense to me.

I am 74yrs old and have symptoms of stomach cancer.I am really scared and feel so poorly I cant eat with no appetite just sipping liquids and my dear dear wife does her very best for me.I am the weak one who is tearful and feel like I cant go on and over couple of weeks now my wife has struggled with having to watch me going downhill.I said to her that I wish I was dead and at that point she burst into tears and said please dont say that.It upset me and made me realise that it's the loved one left behind who has all the pressures of having to carry on without a loved one.We have been married for 54years.I realise that a lot more emotional anger will be coming out over the coming months and I just wish I could be strong enough for her but I feel so overwhelmed myself by it all.I can only say that I think you have been very supportive of your husband and you too are having to carry the burden of watching your loved one going downhill in his health.You should inform your family as ALL family members become involved as together you can become supportive to each other and help each other emotionally to carry the burden.Cancer is such a horrible word to hear.From your husband's point of view he sounds that he feels angry about his condition and cannot cope.You have the extra burden of not only having to cope but having to carry on day after day k owing ultimately you will be the one left behind.Speaking as a fellow sufferer like your husband all we can say is that we are sorry for causing you all this upset but deep down we do realise that without you,our wives to support us our lives would be even poorer.Please tell your family and friends as even chatting to another family member about how you feel could help you to feel better about yourself.It is a huge strain and I wish you God's blessing to help you carry on.Best wishes dear lady.

Thank you for your heartfelt reply and it was really helpful to hear all the points you have made. I was coping so well until Covid appeared.  I never realised how the emotional toll is just as hard as the physical one. You sound such a lovely guy with an exceptional wife. Thank you for being so honest it has really helped. I think being tearful is a good thing. We are all fearful and deal with it differently. 
 

I hope you wrap the love of your wife and family around you and find peace. Thank you again for making contact and God bless you both.

I didn't tell you much about me, I've been on palative care since Feb 2016 , I've prostate cancer gone to lymph nodes spine ribs pelvis and a lung,as I said just living with my uninvited guest..I promised my darling wife I'd look after her when she got old before she'd marry me she's nearly 14 years older than me that was 48years ago my wife now has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's so its afull time job looking after and I'm her official carer I consontrate on my wife more than anything else it keeps me going and positive, everyone needs something to find to concentrate on.it really helps.

Best wishes.

Billy

Hi Billy

Thank you for sharing.  Life can just be so cruel. 48 years together is a massive achievement and a testament to how you are still looking after your dear wife. Stay strong and all the best.