Hi Acs1987

Welcome to the forum. You've kind of hit the nail on the head in your post when you said "this has all happened in the space of less than two months". You've been through so much in a short space of time. You're still recovering physically from your surgery and dealing with the side effects of the medication. Add into this that you've still been Mum through all this and it's no wonder that everything feels so different. It can't have been easy to have your sense of being in control whipped away and it sounds perfectly understandable that your self confidence has taken a bit of a beating. 

Be kind to yourself. You've had a lot to deal with. Whilst it's easy to put pressure on yourself to be back up and running at normal pace, remember to give yourself permission to take a little time to look after you. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel you need someone around with you & the children. Do you have family nearby or a friend that you could ask? 

Being given a cancer diagnosis and then going through treatment is an emotional rollercoaster. Having someone to talk to about your thoughts and feelings can be a great help. There may be a specialist nurse at the hospital you can talk to. We do also have a team of nurses here at Cancer Research UK that you can speak to. They are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. Sometimes it just helps to write everything down. 

Feel free to post here if you have any questions, need to offload or want to chat with others who will understand some of the thoughts and feelings you've described. 

Sending you our best wishes. 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

I have lots of family support, I’ve never been left at home alone with the kids because well quite frankly I don’t think it would be safe, my stomach still hurts when I try to pick up the 2 year old and I’ve since started to come off the pain meds and I’d also been taking diazepam to help with the initially anxiety. I woke up two days ago feeling like I had the worst hangover I’ve ever had in my life. My limbs felt so heavy and my head was so sore I could barely open my eyes, I’d also developed a sepsis like blood rash on my stomach so back up to gps and could barely walk in a straight line. They gave me a full work ups (I had no temp so knew it wasn’t sepsis) did muscle checks and they were literally spazeming because they were so weak... I’d recently been started to do more and more waking and I had started to feel stronger. All bloods came back fine other than my thyroid, the hormone levels were Normal but it seemed that it was over working... they said that was maybe down to the trauma my body has been through and the fact that I’m coming off the meds. I’m just so tired all of the time. Some days I feel like I could just sleep all day and not even bother to move or shower. It’s not like I feel as anxious as I did before and I don’t feel “down” I’m not teary or over emotional I’m just shattered as if my body is just exhausted. Some days my whole body feels as If I’ve done hours of swimming it aches all over. And now these headaches ugh. Is this normal?? I’ve been on tramadol (been off that almost 2 weeks) diazepam (I’m now weaning myself off that taking 4mg a day) codiene for the pain and paracetamol. Cyclazine four times a day coz I still feel nauseous ermmm and that’s about it. It’s been 6 weeks since the surgery is it normal to still feel this lethargic? I’ve had three c sections and by two weeks I was up and about washing and looking after kids as if nothing had happened... I thought it would be like that after this and I’ve also lost so much weight (not that I’m complaining coz I have plenty to lose) but without doing anything I’ve lost over a stone and a half in six weeks.