Can’t get my head around finding out I have DCIS and need to have one, if not both of my breasts removed. I totally understand the reasoning but it’s very difficult to comprehend. Where on earth do you start?
Good morning Jane, I’m so sorry to read your news. It is always a horrible, horrible shock to learn you have cancer. I think the really important thing here is not to rush things. Your mind is a wonderful tool, it blocks information out until it is ready to receive it so don’t rush the acceptance process. It is incredibly difficult to put words into actions but try not to worry or think too far ahead. There is good news – your medical team have identified the problem and have a treatment plan in place. It’s not going to be easy, you will have lots of ups and downs and there will be times when you feel very sorry for yourself – that is absolutely allowed. There are lots, lots and lots of ladies on here who have been through similar situations. My lovely friend [@Chriss] will no doubt spot your post and respond – I know she has been through breast cancer and is a wonderful support to so many people on here.
Take care of yourself Jane, we kind to yourself and I wish you lots of luck.
I had total masectomy on right side last year in July ... And looking back over those 14 months .. the hardest part was where you are now .. because it's the unknown ... The word future takes on a different meaning ... I was so scared I even organised my own funeral, wrote letters to loved ones ... So yes I understand just how scary this time is for you ...
But here I am 14 months on ... Doing o.k .. funeral plans and letters tucked safly away .. and a lovely lady helped me on here on those early days ... [@Jolamine] ... Made me realize to have a good cry , get all those scary thoughts out .. then get a pair of boxing gloves on .. jump in the ring with this thing called cancer .. and get ready to kick it's *** ... And as soon as l felt stronger , I could cope much better ..
And Susan Ruth is right .. lots of other breast cancer lasses have joined in .. all different stages, different treatments .. they are amazing .. all together we are showing this cancer it's got a fight on it's hands ..
It's not a walk in the park but it is doable once you get your head around it .. cancer wants us weak and scared and giving up ... Well I got a spare pair of boxing gloves ... Get them on .. and join us in the ring to get it on the run .. hopefully some will pop by .. [@rileyroo] .. [@Sandra123] ... [@Jbains] ... And [@Cornishpastie] ... Always here if you want a chat ... We were all as scared as you at the start ...
bless... well u start by knowing how you are feeling is totally normal for the news you have just had. Then... know you are not alone in this.....there are so many been in your position before you and as we speak more are following in your footsteps.
Its early days for you and you are at the stage where most people struggle the most. Waiting feels the worst.... it’s like a bomb has been dropped and everyone has walked away telling you to come back later!
The good news....your medical team have honed their skills to such a degree that they know exactly how to tailor your treatment to your needs. They know you feel a bomb has dropped... they haven’t walked away... they are giving you time to come to terms with it all.
best pearl of wisdom I was given was stop thinking ahead - deal with the here and the now only. Reign in the black thoughts .... they are negative and not helpful.
So remember you are not alone...we are here if you need us. You are stronger than you think and can do this. X
A very warm welcome to our forum, which I am sure you will find a great help as you travel your cancer journey. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and well remember just how surreal everything seemed after I got my first diagnosis 8 years ago.
My mum also had breast cancer, although that was 21 years ago. I had always feared that I might follow in her footsteps and succumb to cancer too, but was horrified by how I reacted when given the news. I was crying all the time, my emotions were all over the place and I found myself shouting at loved ones for no particular reason. It took me some time to discover that these feelings go hand in glove with a cancer diagnosis.
You experience a whole plethora of emotions - fear of the unknown, fear of death, fear for loved ones who we might leave behind, worry about work, etc. There are too many different worries to be able to process this news immediately. If it is of any consolation, these feelings will gradually subside as you start upon your cancer journey and start to treat it.
I had a lumpectomy 8 years ago followed by Tamoxifen for a year. For my second bout I had a double mastectomy followed by Letrozole for 6 years. I stopped taking this in July 2017.
Chrissie and Sandra have both given you some good advice. I found my double mastectomy easier to deal with than my lumpectomy, so as Chrissie says "it is doable". Sandra's advice not to think ahead is sound. When diagnosed, we all seem to let our minds run away with us and, look at the worst case scenario. Fortunately, this is not always the case. Try to deal with things one day or even one hour at a time.
If you find yourself crying a lot then let the tears flow - this is a great release valve. Do you have any support from family or friends? You will cope so much better if you have someone that you can talk openly to.
Do you attend your appointments on your own? it is always better to take someone with you. Most of us forget a large proportion of what we are told before we leave the hospital. I always draw up a list of questions for my consultant before each appointment. I go armed with my hubby and 2 copies of my questions. We take a copy each and, as I ask the consultant my questions, hubby writes down the replies. Don't worry your consultant will be quite used to people doing this.
When are you going to find out if it's a single or a double mastectomy that you are going to have? You ask "where on earth do you start?". You start by dealing with things as they come along and try to block out any thoughts of the future for the time being. One thing that I have discovered first-hand since my mum had her cancer treatment, is that things have improved dramatically in that time. Our friends at Cancer Research have worked tirelessly on our behalf. There is absolutely no comparison between the surgery and treatment my mum received and that which I have experienced.
We used to talk about peolple 'dying with cancer'. Fortunately, more people are now 'living with cancer' and there are now many with breast cancer who are still enjoying life.
I hope that you don't have too long to wait before your surgery. If I can be of any help to you, you only have to ask.
