When my husband found out he had Stage 4 Bone cancer he did not want to know the rest..... He refused to see the Oncologist, but I did. He thinks he has about a year left but the truth is that his cancer turned out to be so extensive they have given him less than three months. My struggle at the moment is trying to understand that if a patient states they do not want to know, why do the authorities say otherwise ? and say that they have a legal obligation to inform him? I think this is so, so wrong. Medical staff should be there on a practical level, not an emotional or personal level. I want to keep him at home when his time comes for the very reason that I do not want him to find out and all I would need would be an extra pair of hands to maybe assist. I can give him the medication myself. All he has to know is that they are calling in to keep an eye on his pain, nothing else! I do not want his last few days or hours spent in fear of dying, I think that is cruel and there really is no need at all to tell someone, especially if they have stated they don't wish to know. True, he may well guess whats going on but thats not the same as someone (a stranger telling you). If anyone is going to tell hiom it would be me. Also I do not want any 'outsiders' here when he goes, they are not goiung to steal my last minutes with him. When my Mum died the Doctor came at 8pm and said it would be the same night. He left and she died at 11pm. We kept her until 9am the next morning when we rang the undertakers. I am angry, very angry. The GP said they could send someone out to talk to him and when I asked are they likely to mention his immiment demise she said they may do.
