Hi Ladybaba,

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be, and it sounds like there have been a lot of emotions to deal with over recent weeks. It's good to hear that the wedding was a happy day and that he could be there for it, although I understand what you say about the conflicting emotions.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief, and everyone's experience of grief is different. However I would say that there is no need to fight the tears - sometimes it's best to let the emotions play out. There's no need to bottle anything up, although I know that sometimes these emotions can feel overwhelming. It may be more difficult in a way to give in to the emotions, but longer-term it may help to do this in terms of processing things.

Others may have a different view, and like I say everyone is different. Either way, hopefully you have others around you to speak to for support. We are of course always here on the forum too if you need it, and I'm sure there'll be others here with similar experience.

If ever you feel you'd like additional support or to speak to someone more neutral, have a look at Cruse, who have various resources and a helpline also.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks for replying [@Moderator Ben]‍ I know bottling things up is not good for you but you are right what you say in that giving in to it is overwhelming and I feel like I don’t want to give in to them but maybe i’ll give letting the tears flow a go next time it hits me instead of fighting them off x

Let them flow     you'll be stronger for it

X

Thanks for the reply [@Snoopy6691]‍ i know you are right but really struggling to let go. I keep fighting the tears back

Me too,  hubby died on Thursday

Now funeral 4th November so our daughter has 2 weeks to have our 2nd grandchild.   He had hoped to be here for the event, but wasn't to be.   

X

So sorry for your loss and so sad he didn’t get to see his grandchild. Hope he/she arrives soon. Makes me grateful that my husband managed to get to our daughter’s wedding a few days before he died. We waited 3 weeks for the funeral too seemed such a long time. Once everything was arranged felt in limbo not wanting to do anything. Hope all goes well x

Son helping fill in paperwork today

Just don't want to do it.  At 55 I shouldn't be doing this    wasn't in our plan and we planned Everything being IT project people thru and thru!

Yes that’s so hard to deal with. Future just ripped from you. My husband was 70 ten years older than me. He only had a few months of retirement before cancer struck. I gave up work in June 2019 to spend time with him and enjoy some retirement together. But with his illness getting worse and the covid pandemic it didn’t happen. Family are a great help and friends too. Take their support x

You too xx

Hello,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband. I've just lost my beautiful sister (who was 49) only last week to this truly devastating illness, four years after the same cancer took away our mother.

It all just feels too much to deal with doesn't it?

My sister's funeral is also on the 4th. Thoughts with you and your family on this day also.

Always here to talk xx