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Not having a good day

3 Mar 2018 16:00

Got up this morning my head full of the 'what if' it's awful can't shake it , My nerves are shattered my hands tremble all the time!! I know I'm such a moan but it's like being on a different planet .People say it's good that they've caught it early stage 1 but I just keep thinking its come from somewhere else ☹️☹️☹️

Re: Not having a good day

3 Mar 2018 16:05 in response to deirdre

And breathe. We’ve all felt like this at the various stages in this process. Yes it’s caught early, mine was, but that doesn't stop you tormenting yourself. Book yourself a treat soon, just something thing  for you and to look forward to. I got a facial and had my nails done when the what if’s got to me. 

Re: Not having a good day

3 Mar 2018 16:10 in response to rileyroo

Yes a good idea thank you ! Think cos I'm on my own today doesn't help ! Don't think I can clean the house anymore !! X

Re: Not having a good day

3 Mar 2018 16:17 in response to deirdre

I’m ‘watching’  Moana, again. Should be word perfect shortly. Done a bit of painting earlier, cue tuts from @Jbains ‍ and @Sandra123 ‍. Bit of shopping watching this morning, daughter had a gift voucher to use so a quick trip to the local Outfit. 

How about a bit of virtual shopping? 

Re: Not having a good day

3 Mar 2018 18:19 in response to rileyroo

Yes I'll try that !  Just had granddaughter in had fun playing with her and chatting X thanks again for your help x

Re: Not having a good day

3 Mar 2018 19:59 in response to deirdre

Good Evening Deirdre

Bless.... only 5 days till yr appt - it will b here before u know it.

 Hang in there. Things really do get better when u have an action plan.

If you feel worse on your own then mention it to your family- see if there is a way for them to split their time with u. When I was diagnosed all my family landed.... together. Everyone will want to b there for u but this is new t them too. Help them t help you the way u want nd need. 

I was told at my ultrasound nd biopsy that she was pretty certain it was cancer. Got formal results a wk later. In that week I had the most horrendous headache - I was convinced it was a brain tumour. It wasn’t - it was a tension headache. U will b thinking it’s hardly surprising that I was tense. It didn’t stop my mind going t dark places nd thinking the worst. How you are feeling is normal. 

Make notes of what you want to ask nd raise at your appt next wk. Raising your worries with the team will help. 

We r all sending virtual hugs. 

Nd yes ...a bit of retail therapy never goes amiss;-) x




Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 13:00 in response to Sandra123

Hi Deirdre,

Another great way to reduce tension is to do some kind of creative activity like even coloring in an adult coloring book like Mandalas.  I know because aside from having cancer, I work with cancer patients in hospitals giving guided meditations and mandala coloring activities while people are getting treated.  The results are amazing.  

Wishing you an easy time


Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 14:55 in response to deirdre


I’m suffering from the “what ifs “”as well. Your mind can play terrible tricks especially when you keep trolling the Internet. If it had come from somewhere else that would have told you. Be thankful it’s a stage 1. It will be sorted. Unfortunately, I had depression before this so that doesn’t help.

anyone out there found a way of coping?

Not worth a button!

Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 15:04 in response to judyjoy

I’ve tried colouring etc but when I feel like that Im paralised . It’s not a great way to live not knowing how you will wake up. Im  speaking through depression which I had before this so cancel what I said and get your colouring books out and you will get guided medication on the Internet ‍♀️



Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 18:00 in response to Sandra123

Thank you Sandra 

your words mean so much ! Just need things to get moving ! I've had awful bouts of running to loo !  And not a good colour!! My daughter getting me to drink green smoothies with kale and spinach so I'm hoping this is why . So worrying ☹️☹️Think I'll give them a miss tomorrow  thanks again xx

Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 18:02 in response to Frozen

Thank you Frozen 

ill try that to let my mind in focus !  Just hate not knowing and I feel so ill now whereas before I was going to the gym 5 days a week ! Now I just shake ☹️☹️

Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 22:19 in response to deirdre

Hi Deirdre- I agree with others about we've all had these episodes. Perhaps all this healthy stuff is also altering sugar levels and hormones which may be why you're running to loo. You're almost there and will feel a little more in control once you've see the consultant and know what's what. I had biopsy on 23 Dec and results 28 Dec so xmas and new years and 50th bday were shadowed by this. It is hard but you got This! You're doing so well and we are very lucky that we have wonderful daughters that love us so much. I do remember being alone during treatment and colouring was a great thing to do. My lovely cousin sent me a blanket and adult colouring book which was the best thing ever. Retail therapy is the best at any time. Getting it caught early gives you a very good outcome so focus on that outcome. You're doing great and also send you a virtual hug. . Take it easy.xx

Re: Not having a good day

4 Mar 2018 23:32 in response to Jbains

Thanks again for all your words of encouragement it really means a lot . Not long to go now to get things moving X ❤️

Re: Not having a good day

7 Mar 2018 16:59 in response to Sandra123

Hi yes so worried about tomorrow ! Got spots all over my stomach now and tinnitus on my ears !!Dont know how I will manage tomorrow then waiting again for op !! X

Re: Not having a good day

7 Mar 2018 21:17 in response to deirdre

Hi.... u can do this. Deep breaths. Tomorrow will soon b here nd the wait will b over. 

Dont forget to raise your worries. The change of habit in your bowel movements, thoughts about feeling it has spread, not sleeping, shaking, tiredness etc. Take someone with u to make notes of what is being said.... u may forget what’s said if not. Ask all the questions about your treatment and op you may have. 

U have already been told u have cancer these meetings now are about treatment and scheduling them in. 

So..... good luck for tomorrow- we will all b thinking of you. Let us know how u get on:-) hugs x