Hello VLM83.  So pleased that you have come here, you are in the right place.  So many people have been there and are struggling to lift themselves out of it.  I am confident that some of them will come and chat with you.  It is many years since my own mum died (liver cancer) and I well remember that the world was no longer the same place.  There is no time limit set on grief but I understand that you are worried that rather than gradually feeling a little better (and it does come bit by bit) you may be going backward.

A few suggestions.  After my mum died I set aside a special corner in my home where I could put a few of her things and felt I was talking to her about the things closest to my heart.    Also I should give Cruse Bereavement Care a ring (Freefone 0808 808 1677).  They have been around for a long time and are well-acquainted with all the aspects of grief.  I have heard others say how helpful they were.  Did you speak with your doctor about some temporary medication to help you though this if you are not sleeping and/or feel unable to cope?  Every single one of us needs help sometimes.  We are human and we need the company and friendship of people we love.  Nothing wrong with that and no shame in asking for help. Also, please do come here to post when things feel bad.  So many of  us will understand you.  I hope you will feel better to a point where you want to mix with the world again.

Thank you for the reply. I did speak with the dr & asked about sleeping tablets but he flatly refused as he said they won’t help he mentioned medication but  I’d rather not have to go down the medication route. I have been given a self referral form for counselling which I have filled out. I will try calling Cruse maybe just talking it out with someone not involved will start the healing again. 

Hi,

Try not to get too hung up about medication. I was having massive issues with sleeping due to anxiety and wasn't keen but my GP prescribed some anti-anxiety meds. Only a low dose but it helped break the cycle of anxiety stopping me sleeping/exhaustion making me more anxious which stopped me sleeping. 

Good luck :-)

Dave

Hi Mia

im 34 lived at home with my mum as well so finding it all a little lonely without her. I do have family my aunts & cousins but none of them are going through it in the day way. Think the fact that I lived with Mum makes it all the more real for me if that makes any sense. My whole life has changed & I feel uneasy about how to accept that change & now to move forward. 

Hi Dave

yeah there’s a stigma about using meds for anything mental health related. There no shame in it but I just feel it will possibly just mask the problems I’m having rather than letting me feel the grief like I need to if that makes sense.

I feel for you. Sorry to hear about the bad news.