Rem I am very sorry to hear about your brother Michael, it must be incredibly tough for you and you are clearly a loving brother trying to help him. I have no experience of hypnotherapy so cannot help with your question. I personally found it very hard with my close friend when her appetite reduced and dwindled to nothing, as I had been preparing her meals etc for a long time. I knew in my head it was part of the process of the disease/cancer worsening but it was still difficult to accept as part of my care/love for her was expressed through feeding. In the end it became instinct to know not to push food/fluids as I knew it wouldnt help her.  You mention that your brother has been talking about dying, it sounds like he is trying to mentally prepare you for this to happen as he cares about you as well as wanting to talk. Please take care, I hope I havent said anything that will upset you, wishing you strength to get through this x

Thank you for your kind words. I find it hard to think of it as being tough for me as he is the one who is suffering - but I know what you mean. He has just completed a course of steroids to improve the appetite - that has had no impact on him whatsoever. As a result of insufficient nourishment, he is now down to 8 1.2 stone - so a loss of 1 stone in less than a month. With the wieght loss goes tiredness and exhaustion. However, despite everything, he is still going and I can only hope that his symptoms don't get any worse and give him as much support as I can. I love him very much and will be there for him as and when he needs me - and even when he doesn't - whatever else is going on - he is still my brother. x

Please take care Rem, I am sure that your dear Brother appreciates your love and support. I am sorry that the steroids didn’t improve his appetite, I hope that he is being looked after well. Vent here anytime if you need to, one day at a time is best for now. ((Hugs)) 

My lovely father in law died this morning with this cancer and had not eaten or drank anything for two weeks. Despite his age he was very strong and was only sedated heavily in last two days.

The appetite loss is, I feel, part of the process of dying sadly and to force food or drink when the patient doesn’t want can make them uncomfortable. 

Heartbreaking to watch the decline of a loved one but also the kindest most loving thing is to share the journey with them.

You’ll never regret the time spent with your brother and I hope the end, when it comes, is peaceful, painfree and dignified. Hospice nurses are angels on earth and ensured my father in law had the most peaceful and gentle death.

We are of course all devastated but he was ready to go, his body had had enough.

Take care of you too. ️

Thanks for the hug. I will probably need more over the next few months. Michael is going to see a hypnotherapist tomorrow - who knows what will happen - they only have experience of people wanting to lose weight, stop smoking / drinking etc but nothing ventured nothing gained. It has been suggested today that he is fitted with a tube in the stomach for Enteral Feeding - this is a last resort and sounds horrible. So, we are hoping that the hypnotherapy can stimulate his apetite and make the thought of food appealing. He weighs 8st 7lb so has lost around 4st in two years, but 1/2 stone in the last month. At least he doesn't have the worry of delivering Brexit!

Thank you for your kind words. Michael's inability to take in food is not physical - if he can face it, he can eat it, but he just can't face it - it seems to me that there could be a psychological block. Because of this, we are exploring the possibility of Hypnotherapy to see if that can improve Michael's desire for food and in fact he has his first session today. This is unchartered territory for the hypnotherapist who normally helps people to lose weight or give up smoking / alcohol  but given that, if this fails, the next step is, if agreed with the oncologist, Enteral Feeding. So, without going on about how horrible that sounds, we are all hoping that the hypnotherapy helps. Whilst none of us wish to hasten his demise, I agree that other than a miracle, the most we can hope for is that he moves on in a peaceful, pain free and dignified manner.