Hello clarabella47,

A big welcome to Cancer Chat and please don't feel like a fraud or don't feel bad for writing on here, you certainly don't sound like a drip and this is what the Cancer Chat community is here for, to offer you support at a time when you need it the most. It must be especially hard for you as you have chosen not to talk to your children about it so you are probably putting a brave face in front of them in order not to worry your family. This is why Cancer Chat is a good place to talk to others who will understand exactly how you feel, and who may have had a similar diagnosis and treatment before.

I hope you will soon hear from others on this forum who have been affected by melanoma. I hope the wide excision goes well on Tuesday - we have some information on this procedure here. Sometimes it can help also to talk to others here who have had a similar diagnosis. For example, [@LillieQ]‍ mentioned here that she recently underwent a wide local excision for a stage 1 melanoma in her knee. [@Simplybee]‍ would also be a great person for you to talk to and you can read her story here . Feel free to respond if you wish.

Let us know how it goes on Tuesday, we'll be thinking of you!

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi, thanks very much for your reply. It made me feel better just to write it down. It kind of made me acknowledge how I'm feeling. I have the wide area excision Tuesday. Does anyone know how I'll feel afterwards? I managed to burst my stitches after having the 2 moles removed so I've been warned to take it very easy after this op. Will it be painful? They told me the wide area excision is just a matter of course and that they never find any cancer remaining, has anyone found that there was further cancer during this operation? Sorry, million questions I know....thanks xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Clarabella,

Goodness, don't go feeling like a fraud, you have every right to feel afraid, scared, uncertain or any other feelings that are running through your head just now.

You've been in that situation we've all been in of hearing the word 'cancer' and no matter what our life situations or prognosis are it is terrifying when we first hear it.  It is also hard if you're not telling the children as it does limit your ability to talk about it whenever the need takes you.

I am delighted though that your situation has been caught early, that is absolutely fantastic, and it obviously means your other moles are having a professional eye kept on them too so that is also great news.

As for how to get your head round it all... not sure how to answer that.  It comes down to what works for you.  Keeping your days full of plans can help as it can distract you from it; talking to others that have been in your situation (whether the similarity is just hearing the words 'cancer' or having had treatment for melanoma); making use of local charity cancer services; and don't forget having a good old cry when you need it!

And one thing I want to add even though you probably already know it (but just in case)... having been around your kids' ages when my mum first got breast cancer I would advise that you are careful to just how much more aware they might be than you think.  Even though they won't know exactly what's happening they may well pick up that something is wrong and could get scared.  Not saying it will happen obviously but just something I'm sure you already know to be aware of, kids do seem to have eyes and ears everywhere after all.  There can come a time when it's better to tell them than leave them worrying about the worst case scenario.

Other than all that just make sure and take it easy on yourself, don't judge yourself, just deal with your feelings and thoughts as they arise and don't apologise to anyone for how you are feeling.

Sending you big virtual hugs!

LJx

Hi LJ,

Thanks so much for your reply and wise words. I must admit, I am in a quandary about telling the kids. I think if I need futher treatment I'll tell them but for now, they just know that my moles went bad and they had to be removed. 

I'm nervous about tomorrow now, didn't sleep well last night. The doctor told me there would be a deficit of flesh in my back so there would be quite a dent and a big scar afterwards. I'm  not worried about that though, just the biopsy results afterwards..another 2 weeks at least of worry.

C xx

Firstly, dont apologise!! We are all brought here at the start of our news and some like you, give us a smile that the *** got caught early - your a winner! Be proud.  Lets hope the WLE shows NED - are they also getting a sentinle node to test?

How did yesterday go?

Bad moles does sound like a good one to tell the kids, and if they know they're being removed that will help keep them from worrying.

The wait is the nightmare that we all go through sadly and all I can suggest is intentionally filling that time (particularly with things with the kids) so it seems to go quickly.  I'm a big believer in not letting worry rob us of time since it doesn't change anything, it just steals our fun.  Easier said than done of course!

LJx

Hi LJ,

Well I monumentally messed up my appt last week for WAE. I'd had a letter changing my appt with the cancer nurse from 9am to 10am and thought it was the op appt so turned up 40 mins late. I was devastated, and so cross with myself and gutted and and and.....anyway, the op is now this week on Friday. I am so cross I could take a running kick start myself, I always get appt's right and and always arrive early.

 How could I mess this one up?!!!

I'll update after the op on Friday xxx

Hi there,

Big oooooops!  :D  These things happen.  We have so many appointments floating around us and other things going on in life.  Hopefully this will be the only one you get confused about.

Good luck for Friday :)

LJx