Hi Gemma

So sorry too meet you here! And your going through this. I'm 38 with two sons. I was diagnosed in October with Oestrogen Fed Invasive Ductal Carcicoma, I also went too the appointment alone as the GP didn't seem concerned. I have since had surgery Chemo, Radiotherapy's and I'm now having Anastrole and Injections to suppress my Ovaries.

i assume that you are having Chemo first to reduce the Tumor size and then Surgery after? My friend who I met on here  had the same, my nodes were negative but my friend had all of hers removed as two were positive.

The MRI and CT scan are standard procedures especially if you have chemo first, they use these scans as a bench mark as far as I'm aware
 

j know how frightened you are I was the same, I would sit up all night with my Dogs crying, I couldn't look at the children without getting wet eyes, I went to the dark and thought up lots of awful things.

If I can put your mind at some ease it does get better, your in limbo at the moment but once you know what you dealing with and the plan is fully on the table you will be able to cope with it. The treatment these days are amazing there is so much they can do. You will be okay, and Chemo isn't as bad as you may think, and if you have lots of support you will be okay.

This is a bump in the Road, you will get through this, your young and strong and don't let it beat you. Your team will look after you, lean on your Breast Care Nurse that's what she is there for. 
 

Go for a walk today and breathe the air 

Lots of Love Sarah 

Morning Sarah 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post and sharing all that information.

Our situations sounds very similar and your words and kindness are reassuring thank you xx

Yes I think they said chemo first because of how big it is.

My mond has been wondering to the dark place , I could have written some of what you said in your message 

I'm stuck imagining and fearing the worse but trying not to. I hate the waiting now for the scans and results. Praying it's not spread.

I was meant to take a little part time job in September but now not sure I can or if they'll still have me with this diagnosis . I hadn't signed the contract yet. Part of me wants to curl up and hide the other part of me wants to plough on with everything as planned as much ad I can .

I was just starting to regain my identify after having babies , getting a bit of my life and body back.

Now I'm worring about loosing my breasts, they've suggest macectomy as the tumor is big and I'm a B cup. Loosing my feminity. The hormone therapy starts early menopause?

I feel this is going to age and change me so much.

I'm torn between emotions and thoughts.

My breast care nurse is lovely, the team seem very organised.

I hate the waiting game now xx

Hi Hun,

I completely get that, I was diagnosed a week after my dads funeral he had a Brain Tumor, i helped my mum look after him and after he passed away I was wanting to find myself again as the worry had zapped the old Sarah away, unfortunately I was swept into this whirlwind

Results are the worst and I would say don't be to down if plans change as you go along, unfortunately this does happen 

I actually used the Cold Cap it was really hard but I had really lovely long blonde thick hair, I managed to keep some and it started too grow back after my 5th Chemo out of 6 which was a relief.

I looked at it that results are awful but it's the only way we can be looked after. I had a Lumpectomy but my friend has had a Macectomy and she has had an implant, i understand what you mean though that's tough. I think that you never know, you will have to take each day and not try and look to far ahead, have they said anything about your Lymph Nodes? and have you had your HeR2 result yet. 
The positive is it's hormone fed so they can give us tablets too stop the oestrogen. Yes I have gone into an early Menapause they asked if I wanted too harvest my eggs but I didn't want to hold anything up. 

It's a tricky one with your new job in September,  I'm not sure you will be able to do it if your having Chemo and looking after but I can't say. I had FEC-T think you may have EC-T I have 3 FEC and 3 Docetaxil, I wasn't great for a week too ten days after but you do have a good few days before the next chemo, it's very Do-able, I can help you if you need me as I have been through it.

It's a really tough long journey but unfortunately we don't have a Choice. I want you to know that your not alone and how you feel we all feel or have felt.

You can do this xxx

Hi Gemma

i just wanted to reply so you feel less alone. I'm 41 with a 5 year old and I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer a couple of weeks ago. I am quite likely to have a mutated gene because I actually have bilateral breast cancer. It's very rare, and was found after my MRI. I had a PET-CT of my whole body yesterday and am waiting for the results to decide treatment plan, though very likely a double mastectomy and chemo. I had to have more biopsies of other suspicious areas but the one that's been confirmed is ER+, PR- and HER- 

I can so relate to your post. You've described exactly how I've been feeling, right down to the irrational thoughts. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Just wanted to send you some positive vibes and strength. There are so many stories of long happy lives after BC. People say when you get your treatment plan things start to feel a bit easier. Thinking of you and hope the little ones are doing ok with the chicken pox x

Hi Sarah

Thank you for replying to me. 

I'm so sorry to hear about you dad. Can't imagine how tough that was for you and your mum.

My husband lost his dad to throat cancer just before our second little boy was born a couple of years ago. It was devastating- still is. 

I had my MRI the day after my diagnosis. Still waiting for a CT scan. I'm petrified it's spread and really want my CT and the reports back ASAP. It's on my mind all the time. I'm worried it's going to spread whilst I'm waiting. My tumor is 6am x 3cm. It's bloody massive. I can't seem to find anywhere much about the invasive ductal tumor  being that big. I need to stop googeling 

I had ultrasound scan to my armpit when I had the biopsy and it looked clear on that. Praying that's the case with the MRI and CT. 

I've read stories of one thing being changed to another after the MRI and CT.

I could really do with some friends that have been through this too, thanknyiu for the offer of helping me through this xxxxx

Hi Lisa

I'm sorry to hear you've been so recently diagnosed too and to meet you in this chat space but reassuring to knowing not alone.

I think I'm still in shock and disbelief as still a part of me can't believe I've got this, how and why did this happen to me. Out of the hundreds of girls I know why me. I can't help feeling jealous and unjust when I see women (ive been watching Glastonbury) jumping around breasts flying about having fun and seemingly not a care in the world. I know thats stupid but can't help to think that at the minute. 

My breast care nurse thinks it'd likely because of my small breast and large tumor it will be a full mastectomy.  I'm tempted to have both off and be done with them. Just don't know about having reconstruction straight away or leaving it and see how I feel. I've been a b cup, but bigger the last 4 years as breast fed  my 2 boys back to back. 

I'm used to a flat chest - that's me.

But would be quite nice - if there's ever anything that is during this - to get something bigger popped in !! But then I don't know if after all this I ever what to look at or feel my breasts again. This is emotional rollercoster torment.

I also cried at the 5 year free prescription allowance - how nice free medication in return for cancer. 

Thank you for the positive vibes kind words and reassurance 

I'm sick with worry for the mri and ct results telling me it's more than just my initial  biopsy result. 

I'm trying to stay positive and be a fighter but at the moment it's difficult to function doing day to day things .it's engulfing my mind. 

I managed to tell.one of my best friends and her husband yesterday- feel better for sharing and starting to build my team 

I'd love to keep charting Lisa if you would too.

XXXXX

Hi Hun, I have just realised I answered your first post a couple of weeks ago! Oh gosh I was wondering about you, the penny as only just dropped 

You mind will be Engulfed for sure, if it makes you feel better my Ultrasound of my Arm pits looked clear and it was when they Removed two nodes too test at my Surgery, have they said that your Tumor is all IDC ? Could some of it be made up of DCIS? My tumor was 2cm but surrounding it was DCIS another 2cm of it. My boobs are tiny too. 
 

Im so glad you told your friend you must lean of your friends and family.sounds like you and Lisa are at the same time line, hopefully you both can help eachother, I am certainly here too if you need me. I will send you a friend request so that you can message me on here anytime. 
 

I know how you feel, all my friends were booking holidays, still carrying on! I was Angry that I was in the bubble, I'm out the other side nearly!! 
 

I must be honest things seem slow at first but once you get going with treatments it happens really quickly.  You have got this and now you have found it it can be sorted. 

Hi Gemma (& hi Snowdrop!)

Yes, definitely up for chatting and helping each other through this. One day at a time hey.

Your Glastonbury comment made me smile because I thought exactly the same thing!! Some girl was topless on someone's shoulders but had festival glitter tats over her nipples and her boobs were bopping around having a lovely old time and I just thought how nice to be that carefree and to have such carefree, happy boobs! I constantly look at people going about their everyday life and thinking how lucky they are not to have stuff like this to worry about. But I guess they could be looking at me thinking the same thing.
 

Also, I've never liked my boobs as I had stretch marks as a teen (gone now!) so always hid them, I am a B cup and while they aren't huge I have been surprised by how many people have commented on my 'small boobs'! I guess the radiologists and doctors must see some absolute whoppers but I have been very slightly offended! I can't even wrap my head around the different reconstruction options yet but I think some implants will be an upgrade on mine!

i have an appointment with my consultant tomorrow to discuss pet-ct and further biopsy results. I feel numb with fear and have been having such horrible thoughts. I do think this must be the worst bit. I have been taking Phenergan to sleep at night but might have to get something stronger from the GP to calm me.

I loved your comment about building your team. That's such a lovely way to think as they will want to be with you every step of the way. My daughter is keeping me busy with her many classes and she's doing a ballet show today. I went to see Ed Sheeran on Friday with my best friend and broke the news to her. I felt bad for upsetting her but I know she would also want me to tell her. Everything feels like an outer body experience or like I'm not really there. Just got to keep going I guess and my little one makes me have to get up and crack on. My husband is being really supportive but I know it's hard for him too.

So my appointment is at 11 tomorrow and randomly I've also got an appt with a dental consultant at 10 as meant to me having my impacted wisdom teeth out. So much to look forward to this summer!!

it's really helping to hear from people who have been through all this and snowdrop I've been reading your posts. I hope you are doing ok.

Hope you're both doing something that's helping to take your mind off boobs for a while today xxx

Hello Lisa and Sarah

I decided to go into work today , needed some normality but actually it was really hard butting a brave face on and getting on with work. I'm a children's nurse and absoluely love my job and the ladies I work with.

Sounds like you've had lots of lovely things to keep you busy Lisa,  hope Ed was good and yiur daughters ballet show went well today how cute!

Hope the dentist isn't too dreadful in the morning and of course the consultant apt for results goes well. Hoping it's kind news and it gjve you some answers that stop some worries.

Yes I was a bit shocked too when i was talking about my regular cup size being a B my male consultant actually said the words you have small boobies then - was a bit weird !

Snowdrop - yes I remember now you replied to my first post about breast clinic- thank you for remembering. Sorry its all been a bit of a blur. This is absoluely the worse bit the shock and denail and fear and worrying waiting.

Sorry I'm still a bit unsure about all the terminology - I was told I have a grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma 6cm by 3 cm but as its only a biopsy piece they would now more after MRI and further testing. They haven't said if a portion of it is DCIS ? 

I'm still not sure if I need chemo first then surgery or surgery first the chemo but they said I would need both to start with. Then radio and hormone therapy. They actually said the words as your young well through everything at you which I was a bit shocked by. 

I'm not sure what all the hormone and receptor stuff is but they said it was fed by oestrogen. I've been googeling oestrogen rich food today and decided to cut it out my diet. Milk and eggs mainly - probably won't make a difference but feels like I'm doing something.

You said something in your message today about your armpit lymph nodes sorry i dont quite understand , were they clear on you ultra sound then different on further testing?

My mind is going to explode with impatience waiting this CT scan and reports. I just want a plan and to start doing something

Xxxxxc

Hi hun, they were clear on my ultrasound and when they removed them they were all clear.

I hope you get your results quickly, I am sure they will be okay. They said the same too me about throwing everything at it. 
 

I hope you try and have some sleep tonight, xx