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New to this

13 Dec 2017 23:39


im not really sure what I’m supposed to write but I guess I’m just looking for a bit of support and possibly some stories of hope. 

My mum has just been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer...she went to the doctor a few weeks ago for blood tests as she was feeling tired and her iron came back super low. Next thing we know is she has a tumour in her bowel and the latest scan results show it has spread to the liver and spots on the lungs. She’s going for surgery early next year for the colon and then starting chemo when she’s a bit stronger and take it from there. 

I guess I’m just scared that I won’t have my mum around for long. She was told if she did nothing she could be dead in the next few months... I’m an only child and my parents are my world.

Any advice, good stories or things I can do to help/prepare for the worst would be great. 



Re: New to this

14 Dec 2017 07:40 in response to Frankstar

It is still quite early in the  morning - I am up because my dog wanted to go out so I thought I would say hello.  I haven't specific information about your mum's problems but I know how frightening it is - my mum died from cancer some years ago when treatment was nothing like it is now.  I had only started getting used to the idea that my parents were getting older and not able to do things that they used to and it was all quite frightening. 

Nobody can guarantee anything with cancer but from reading these forums I am struck by the way people sometimes live much longer than expected even when things seem bad.  There are no certainties.  The fact that she is taking the medics' advice for treatment is hopeful for the near future.   I am confident that other forum members with relevant experience will come and talk to you so I just wanted to say you are doing the right thing by opening up your heart and talking about things here.

Re: New to this

14 Dec 2017 09:29 in response to Frankstar

So sorry to hear about your mum, my only advice is to try to stay positive, laugh as much as you can. Some days may be worse than others, but live each day anew. 

Re: New to this

15 Dec 2017 16:43 in response to Frankstar

hi  i am new too

my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer stage 4  in october he has since then been given a colostomy and had some radiation. He get very tired at times and he has lost a little wieght . The best thing I did was to contact a diatician who advised me on increasing his protien and fluids. which I  now keep an eye on . Mum may be upset or angry at first , remember it is not directed at you, and then silences are ok,

give your mum a hug when u can


Re: New to this

15 Dec 2017 17:22 in response to Frankstar

Hi Annieliz, My name is Pam. I am currently fighting Lymphoma and I'm a widow to this disease. Hearing the words "You've got cancer" is the most scariest thing in the world. I was my husband's caregiver and now I'm my own caregiver. A person has to process the news...once you all have digested the news then go in for the attack.

My husband had 4th stage Esphogus cancer (deadly)....he was given 6 months but he fought for almost 4 years. 

You and your mom are afraid of the unknown but it will get better/easier to her 24/7 and we will support you. Huge hugs from Texas! Pam

Re: New to this

15 Dec 2017 19:18 in response to Frankstar

Hi sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis .I am 60 and august was diagnosed with bowel cancer CT scan then revealed it had spread to liver a MRI scan showed another lesion on liver but not cancer.a pet scan revealed non specific nodules on lungs to say we were devastated is an understatement.i was told few years ago it would been death .but new treatment is possible.i am on chemotherapy now although it's not nice it's manageable.january I have full body scan to see if liver tumour shrunk enough to be safer for surgery which is being done at Basingstoke where specialist surgeons are and then my local hospital for bowel surgery then more chemotherapy .was told very long road to travel and it won't be easy but they told me to be positive most time I am .don't know if you find this of any help it's been very difficult time and telling my 3 grown up children was hard and I also lost my mum this year so least she never knew .best wishes for your mum it is hard but keep positive .

Re: New to this

25 Dec 2017 18:24 in response to tigercub

Thanks for all your lovely messages and support. We are being strong and taking it a day at a time. She is very tired and can’t eat much but has been given dietary advise and protein shakes. She’s booked for surgery at the beginning of January with a great surgeon who will do keyhole surgery to reduce recovery time and after that she will start chemo. She says she’s actually looking forward to the surgery as she feels so awful now, just no energy at all. 

Im not too sure what will happen after the surgery and when chemo starts buts we’ve been given lots of great advise and positive information about new chemo drugs etc. Hopefully they will then be able to remove the mass in her liver and give us an idea of what the prognosis is. 

I think we’re all still in shock but trying to be positive. Mum was just more sad that she wouldn’t get to see me get married or have kids when she found out. She lost her mother when she was early 20s so I think doesn’t want the same for me. She still struggles to talk about loosing her mum all these years later so that’s the main thing upsetting her I think. 

Thank you for all your support. 

Re: New to this

25 Dec 2017 23:39 in response to Frankstar
Hi ya. Just thought I would drop a message to you hoping it+will give you some hope. My son in law was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at 38 yrs old . He fought very hard and survived 8 years. We lost him last year. He alway had a very positive attitude which I think really helped. It was not an easy journey but he got to see his oldest child graduates high school and taught his youngest how to drive. Just hold on to hope , get second opinions . Good luck.