Hi there, and well done for plucking up the courage to share you worries with us. You will find lots of wonderful people here who understand exactly what you are going through and who can offer advice, help and a broad shoulder every step of the way.

It is very hard to get your head around all this at the beginning and equally so for friends & family. Some will be reluctant to mention anything for fear of upsetting you, others will want to talk 24/7 but it is up to you to decide how you want to deal with it. I personally found I can talk much more freely on here and it has helped tremendously knowing how others deal with the same issues, having gone through it themselves.

I was diagnosed with one grade 2 cancer on one side and a different grade 1 cancer on the other in February and am happy to help....

Please try to take things one step at a time if you can and distract yourself as much as possible with good things in between. Unfortunately, whatever treatment is being planned for you, it is a very long, slow process with lots of waiting between "stuff" when all you really want to do is to get on with it as quickly as possible. One of the worst feelings for me was that of not being in control but once I had a plan and could see the route things became a little easier, as they will for you too.

Hang in there and do let us know how you get on .  Take care  Sue x

Hi, welcome to this forum where I know you will find friends to talk to and support you through this rough time. I found out last Monday I have grade 2 in my left side and am booked in for a lumpectomy 3 June.  I don't know whether it is better to tell friends or not, family definitely as they are the ones who want to love and support you as you would for them, but I thought I would be a bit more careful with friends as I did not know how they would react, and once they are told you can't take it back and 'untell' them. But that is just me, and everyone must do what they feel comfortable with.

As Susu says, once a treatment plan is in place, and you start the journey towards recovery, the panic and worry seem to retreat a bit and things get more into perspective.

One thing that definately helps  is being able to talk to people here, to voice your fears and concerns and get sensible advice that is borne of experience.  Everyone understands and that is a comforting in the middle of a dark patch.

Take care of yourself, keep in touch, best wishes and hugs xx

Hi there thankyou for your reply to me I have just had 2 ops the 1st one was a wide local excision and sentinel node biopsy and the 2nd they did Axillary node dissection,  I was 1st diagnosed of grade 2 breast cancer on the 3rd of march and was a total shock, I am age 42 and I'm now waiting for my results from my last op to see what treatment I need, I've been very scared and up and down xxx

Hi, sorry in my earlier reply I had not realised that you have already had surgery but I hope that you are recovering well? So, yet again you are waiting and are, quite naturally, worried. Do you know yet when you can expect to get the results? I hope for your sake that it is soon and will have everything crossed for you in the meantime. Take care  Sue x

Hi Wahlady,

I was diagnosed last month with grade 3 cancer. I have found it incredibly difficult telling family and friends and the worst was telling the kids, I felt so guilty and it broke my heart.

I work for a big organisation so have a lot of friends at work and collegues who I'm close to but I chickened out and let my line manager tell everyone for me because I couldn't face them. I did a lot of crying in those first couple of weeks, especially when trying to talk about it with people who got in touch with me when the news spread.

To be honest, I felt like a fraud as i did not feel ill and felt as though I should still be at work and still do all the normal stuff like school runs, housework ect. I then decided to make the most of not feeling ill and even though I couldnt go to work due to my doctor signing my off, I did continue doing everyday stuff and filled my time with daily runs, pottering round the garden, shopping and the like but most importantly, I stopped feeling guilty.

I have now had my lumpectomy and slnb (last week)  and at the moment I am battling an infection i picked up during the surgery so can no longer do very much but I needed those early weeks to get my head round to the idea of having cancer and to try and deal with it. Am now waiting for the results of my op and dreading the possibility of further surgery. They have already told me that I will have to have chemo but will have to wait the outcome of the results before being given a timescale for this to begin. x

Wahlady Please don't deal with it all alone. Try if you can to tell everyone you know what you are going through. Almost everyone you talk to will know someone who has cancer and many will have or have had cancer themselves. You can keep it short what you say, they will then know why you may be living life differently, ie not going for that evening out because you are too tired or feeling sick etc. Sometimes people dont want to say anything in case they "put their foot in it." Often they do, but dont get annoyed by it, it is not intentional just well meaning. Also it spreads awareness of cancer and that anyone can get it, like me and you and its not catching or dirty and that treatments are available to help you out and unlike 40 years ago it needn't be spoken of in hushed tones, the c word. Wishing you hope and strength through what lies ahead.

I get my results from the last op on the 3rd of June I'm scared because they found cancer in one of the lymph's and that's why they did the 2nd op to remove the rest of the lymph's, I'm worried of how many more of then will Ave cancer in and scared of being told I have to Ave cimo xx 

I know what you mean. I have told people I know can cope but trying to protect my husband and daughter. Work in NHS so have colleagues who are used to having difficult conversations but am finding this forum helpful as I can type even if tearful!! Best wishes. X

Thankyou so much for reply this is so helpful to talk to others that understand how you feel xx

Bless you  it must be  hard  for you  too try and keep your chin up and talk about this when you feel you need to I'm finding it difficult to cope with all this at the mo, I'm so used to being busy working and always on the go, but I'm stuck in doors and just sleep all the time at mo I feel so tired after the 2nd op but got lots of visitors to keep me goin xxx keep smiling xxx I love to smile x