Hello Michelle2202,

As I noticed this is your first time with us I just wanted to stop by and welcome you to our forum.

I'm sorry to hear that your mum was diagnosed with AML before Christmas and that now the treatment didn't work as they expected. 

With everything happening so fast all at once it is only natural that you feel the way you do but try not to be too hard on yourself, it sounds like you are doing a lot and I'm sure you mum appreciates you being there for her at this difficult time.

I hope you will soon get to chat with others here who have been through a similar experience with their loved ones affected by cancer, as talking with those who can understand does seem to help. Until then feel free to post as much as you need, we are here to listen.

Warm wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Michelle2202.  Welcome to this forum.  Am so sorry that your mum has not responded to treatment.  Don't wind yourself up so much; you are doing great by taking in your mum and caring for her as well as you can.  Don't forget she is still the same mum that you have known and loved all your life so you can talk as you have always talked.   You can take your lead from your mum to a certain extent; when she wants to talk about her illness then do that; at other times she might just want to talk about the things you have always discussed.  During this time you can tell her things you never got round to saying like how much you appreciated various things she did for you.  It is at these times that we do feel guilty about being what was probably normal daughter behaviour when you were younger.  When we have children ourselves we know that we love them regardless and generally no apology is needed!

I hope you are getting plenty of  help with your mum's care - palliative nurses for instance.  Also do you have other family members and friends who are willing to help you as and when required.  Don't be afraid to ask for help; people can be very supportive if they know what  you need.  If you asre feeling just generally lost please continue to post here about this.  You can also ring MacMillan Cancer Support (Freefone 0808 808 0000) who are a great source of support and advice for anyone affected by cancer.

You sound as though you are doing the right things so be a bit kinder to yourself.  Best wishes.  Annie