Hi there bexi. . Bless ya .. no wonder your feeling low, you've really been through it ... but you have come so far ... there's lots of us on here, that will know how you feel ... lots of different cancers but all with one goal, to kick cancers butt ... coz cancer wants us to lay down and give up ... 

I'm trying to think of a word l can put down to describe what your boyfriend did... but words fail me .. all l can say, is maybe you will be o.k without someone who can't take a struggle ... there will be someone else in the future who will stick by you no matter what ... all good things are worth waiting for ... so hang in there ... 

So your on the last home run now ... fingers crossed you will get the all clear after ... l know it's really hard ... but don't give up ... there's lots of us on here on the same cancer rollercoaster ride as you ... so hold on tight your coming to the home strait ... wer here if you need a shoulder ... have you got close family or a buddy still near ...  well I'm just sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

Hi Chrissie, 

Thank you so much for replying, what you said has already made me feel less alone. thank you so much for your kind words  

I honestly don’t blame him at all, some people just can’t cope and he’s never been through anything like this before. It’s just so hard coz I still love him so much!

yeh home stretch! So happy about that, yeh I’m hoping the scan should be good coz they said it was pretty much gone after the op and gone after the chemo. Think they are just hitting it with everything to give the best chance of a good outcome. Thank you that really does mean a lot! I have family close by and my dads been through it but I just can’t seem to talk to them about it really and my friends they’re there but they just don’t understand. I am sending you a big hug back if you ever need anything feel free to message id love to be able to help you too ️ I hope you are doing ok, and you too are beating cancers butt

Hi bexi.... Your welcome ... And yes l think I'm kicking his butt ... Don't matter if l win or lose ... I've had a wonderful time ... Cancer thought he'd brake me ... But I've spent lots of time with my beautiful granddaughter.... I had Xmas in Florida ... I really do smile every day no matter what ( appart from some losse it completely days too) but the love I've had from family ... I'd never have known just how much without it ... This is just me ... I can still understand others who feel their world's just collapsed ... 

There's amazing people on here I'd never have chatted too if I'd not been on this journey ... I've lived and done so much, I'm just great full for every day l have ... I love all the little things and see them through eyes that never quite appriecated it all before ...

Now your so young and have hopefully many years to come ... And if you can ride this rollercoaster and you can take the time you have, with both hands ... And you just need to say you can do this ... And your young man may just be there sometime in the future ... Or maybe you'll find your prince ... Just live in the day ... And every day is just one more day ... You can always friend me when you need a chat ... About anything ... So this old bird is hopeing we'll both be here for awhile yet ... Take care .. chrissie x

So sorry for the late reply chrissie, I haven’t been on here for a long time but I gotta say I forgot how good it was to speak to people who know what you’re going through. I’m so happy to hear that you are fighting hard and living life as you should, happily! Cancer definitely does make you appreciate the things you maybe didn’t as much before. My family mean the world to me, I have 4 nephews and nieces and I’m determined to see them grow for as long as I can. I hope you are doing great and I shall continue to be like you and smile every day, there’s so much to be thankful for    You take care too, Bex x

Hay Bex 

So lovely to have a catch up ... and you carry on kicking it's butt ... I've got a tea shirt that says, cancer touched my boob, so I kicked it's *** .. with pic of a lass with pink boxing gloves ... love it ... just booked holiday away for this xmas too ..

I know what you mean about nieces and nephews ... I love mine as if they were my kids, so you keep doing o.k for them .. so where are you at the mo ... not literally lol, with your cancer journey .. has treatment all finished now ?   ... at least it was caught early ... and the boyfriend really wasn't worth it .. hope you find a good one soon .. they are not all like that .. there's nowt so funny as folk ... 

Well I'm 14 months post op now, can't believe it .. and still going strong (ish) lol .. so sending you one of my hugs again ...  Chrissie 

It’s so good to hear from you, I absolutely love the sound of that t shirt! Going away for Xmas will be lovely, where you off to? 

Yeh I stay strong for my family, we’ve lost so many from it and some beat it so they were scared when I was diagnosed also. Yeh it’s great my treatment is all finished now, been about 8 weeks and I’m feeling good, I’m supposed to be having a scan very soon to make sure it’s all gone which I’m petrified about but hopefully it will be ok. Yeh I hope so! Fingers crossed eh! 

Im so glad you are doing so well, it must feel amazing where you are now, all that behind you. Sending you bug hugs too Bex ️

Hi Bexi

My names Garry (Gaz) I had stage four hodgkins lymphoma and had chemo twice a month every other Thursday for six hours at a time for five and a half month's,I then got shingles (very painful) but worse then all that I then had double pueumonia(left me on the brink of death) 

I have never smoked or drank and use to be a amatuer boxer so was and still am fit.

The reason I am writing is DONT be negative and DONT let it get you down I know it's easy to wollow in self pity but there is always someone worse off then yourself.

I live on my own and I still did all my housework,washing cooking and the weekly shop and still went out on the 'pull' (single man) but not very often!

The reason I am telling you this is try to carry on as best you can I KNOW it's hard but hopefully your get there.

Garry.

Ps your boyfriends a ***!

Hey Garry, 

Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear you've been through so much, but sounds like you take it in your stride and power through and thats great! Don't get me wrong I dont tend to wallow at all, I am usually strong and very hard to crack emotion wise but this was just one of those times where I became overwhelmed and I needed support. I do know that many people are worse off than me, I have close friends that are worse off and I spend alot of my time trying to help them. When im feeling uncertain about myself I tend to help others, it makes me feel good that I can make another person smile and feel better than they did before. It really helps me. Once I get my scan done and get the all clear im sure i'll be much better. 

Bex 

Hi Again Bexi

I'm hoping everything works out for you,you have youth on your side!

Let the chat room know how you get on.

My warmest Regards.

Gaz.

Hi Bex ..

I just seen your last bits on your post , and I just had to tell you .. you have been one of the strongest, most caring, brave lasses I've chatted to on here.. and I've been on here 14 months .. an my hunny . You have deffinatly NEVER ...wallowed in self pity .. please pay no heed to rubbish like that ... he obviously hasn't read all these replys and then would know how amazing you are, for one so young ..

So my hunny sending you a big big hug .. and I for one am really proud of you ...

Chrissie