my youngest sister died of cancer

dont really know what to say, except my youngest sister died of cancer, and my mother cant talk about her illness or death and my husband doesnt really listen. so no one to turn to. my middle sister talks about our sister frequently, but we need our mum to talk to us and she cant. i can see why, parents should die before their children. but its hard for my mum but she shuts us out . can anyone give advice please

  •  

    Hi Peluche,

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your younger sister and offer my sincere condolence. You do not say how long ago it is since she died or what age she was.

    There were six of us and I lost one of my brothers in an accident when he was only 24. My mother never really got over the loss and it took her years to be able to talk about him. You may find that your mum will eventually be able to talk to you and your sister. It really is much easier for all of you if you can discuss matters between you.

    Would your mum benefit from speaking to a grief counsellor? There are several groups that offer this service. It’s not for everyone, but some find that it can be very helpful.

    I am glad to hear that your middle sister is open to discussing all that has happened and, although your husband doesn’t listen, it must be helpful for you to be able to talk openly with your sister.

    I hope that between you and your sister you can eventually persuade your mum to start talking to you.

    Don’t give up hope yet.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine  xx