Hi there ...

Welcome to our little safe place where we can come, when no one really understands ...  and you feel alone ... you may find it's hard to chat to someone with the same, as you are so young ... but there's many been where you are now ... 

The nearest to your journey in my life, was my niece lost her partner and he was still in his 20s .. but he had upset stomach one day ... and at 2 in the morning, swallowed his own vomit, and was gone in under a minute ... he was the love of her life.. they had 2 little ones, 3 and 1 ... so I know the grief she went though, and the whole family ... but not what your doing now ...

Those two children are now 23 / 22 ... ones just got her degree and the other is an amazing young man .. we always talked about their dad, and we brought his memories and videos along this journey of life ..  we all embrased them ...their mum years later is with a kind, lovely man, but a part of her heart went with him ... she coped with lots of help ... but you never stop missing them ...

I hope you have a wider extended family that will help you through ... you will need help now and then .. McMillan can give you help with care, and they are an amazing listening ear, which I used myself sometimes ...

Please don't all try to be strong for each other ... to walk this journey together, you need to share tears... hugs, and leave nothing unsaid ... even if it may be hard to hear .. you have done this first step of reaching out ... now you try to ask others for help... and let people in ... you need to let feelings out .. your not super woman.. just a "normal" woman, with a big heart and too much on her shoulders to carry alone now ... always here if you need a shoulder ... sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

You are so young to be coping with all of this. You need to talk to someone about how you are feeling. You can ring Mcmillan nurses help line if you have no one you feel you can tell how you feel. They will have had other people in your situation. You need someone to listen to you. In my area there are support groups for all different cancers and situations. Try googling for groups near you. We all need help to cope with our differing situations

Hoping you find help with love and hugs sue

Thank you so much Chrissie, that was hard but lovely to read. It sounds so selfish but I'm just terrified of being left. I am also in the process of gaining parental rights of my stepson so he can stay with me and my daughter. My heart physically hurts my chest everyday, I find it hard to breathe sometimes. We have spoke about the awful stuff, where he wants to die, funeral planning etc. For the time being we're focussing on making as many memories with our young children as possible whilst he is still well x 

Thank you for getting back to me... l know this journey your on will be probly the hardest thing you'll go through .. I've seen the fallout and ripple effect ... 

This cancer, wants us to buckle ... to fall flat face down, give up, and then cancer takes even more victims .. it's crule, and doesn't care who it hurts ..but in making each day as a bonus and working together ... wer sticking two fingers up to cancer , that's gonna be my last gesture .... and although I'm not young, when I was diagnosed with a grade three .. and the thought of leaving my granddaughter Emily (pictured) was my worst fear.. she is the reason I want to wake every day ... and only 6 ... 

I wrote my letters to loved one.. I've been writing a memory book for Emily from when she was 1 ... so she would know just how much l loved her .. and yes did my own funeral plans ... and once I'd done all those, l could then relax and just said, o.k now I'm gonna pack in as many memories as I can ... my family supported and listened .. once the hard stuff has been said .. you can still have time to do things together ... tears are a big part of coping .. only if they are shared ..

I prepared my Emily, when she asked me if I was going to die, I told her if I do, I'll be a star up there next to my mum's bright star .. so she will always be able to see where I am .. children are amazing.. they can be broken hearted and sob.. and then a little latter, start playing and the thought goes ... unfortunately us adults grieve 24/7 ... we don't get a break from the pain ... but Emily was fine.. with gentle honesty ..

Just think how you'd think if he just went ... now .. you'd give anything to have a little bit more time ... you've got that ... tomorrow will take care of its self.. you have him here today .. and if you both do this together, he may push those time limits a little, some on here are doing that .. 

If you want to message me and chat one to one .. press on my photo and send a friend request .. only if you want to .. I can't take your pain away, but I can hold your hand if you need it, for as much or as little as you need it .. big big hug ... Chrissie 

Hello; I was so sorry to learn of your situation - when you were settled and happy why do these things have to happen. And your children too.  I know I cannot fully comprehend what you are feeling but wanted to put you in touch with a lady who has been in your situation - neverhappyagain who replied to another post about loss and told us she had lost her 46 year old husband a few weeks ago - they also have young children.  You asked in your post about others who might know what you are suffering which is why I am giving you her name.  If you press on the Search Forum button in the blue banner above your post and enter neverhappyagain in the box which opens up - you will find her post (let me know if you have any problems with this).  I hope that you will continue to post here through your terrible trouble and please ask if we can give you any help on any aspect of your worries.   I can see you are already in good hands with Chrissie.  Annie