I have no words as there are no words. Do you have someone supporting you? Someone who can deal with the practical things on days when you're not up to it? In the times i've been grieving I found taking a few hours at a time was all I could manage. Somehow focusing on the mundane allowed time to pass and time passing was the only thing that eased my grief.
Everyone grieves differently and I think you should be kind to yourself and do what helps you to get through. I would strongly counsel against sinking too far into a bottle though. A few tipples take the edge off but can spiral out of control when you are already feeling so lost.
If there is nobody to talk to at home this site is a good place to vent.
Please look after yourself with the basics - eating, drinking etc.
If only words could bring him back, I'd find them ... I have 2 wonderful son's, and the pain you must be feeling is beond any pain we can imagine .. my heart goes out to you ... I know a part of us dies when we loose a child .. but part of him will live tucked up in your heart forever ...
Sending you a big hug from one mum to another ... Chrissie
