Hello Ice; how distressing for both your sister and your family.  Unfortunately I don't have any magic answers to this situation.   I imagine you have tried every way you know how to get her to take more care of herself.  I hope, despite what she says, you manage to keep in contact with your sister so you can keep an eye on her.    Do you think you could persuade your sister to take a look at a discussion group on the MacMillan website for bereaved spouses (I attach a link).  You will see that there are lots of people who are struggling to cope and your sister may feel  a connection with their feelings. I don't know if she is willing to talk to a bereavement counsellor such as Cruse Bereavement Care;  I  am aware of others who have contacted them and said they have helped.  However like so many charities they are struggling to keep afloat so it may be worth your ringing them first to see if your sister could be helped immediately or if there is a waiting period.  Their number is 0808 808 1677.

community.macmillan.org.uk/.../137672

Best wishes.  Annie 

Dear ice

I lost my husband on 12 April this year to cancer after a traumatic 3 half years, I know what your sister is going through . It has only been 6 weeks for me not 6 months but I really can't see me feeling any more alone or lost even at 6 months. I have 2 sisters and they try their best to comfort me, but it is only us the ones that are left that can truly deal with this and you have to just be there for us when we need you, I have broke down loads to my sister's but then think they will get fed up with me so try to keep it to myself, but going on holiday would be the last thing on my mind. My husband was 53 and we had fantastic holidays together , I only went with him and no one else, maybe your sister has too many memories, maybe she's thinking , this should of been me and my hubby on holiday, holding hands, walking by the sea which she never will do again with the man she loved, she will never sit by the sea taking in the sea views with a glass of wine.  I went to see ed sheran recently and the place was full of loved up couples, we were to together 29 years and still loved up, it just doesn't go away in a few months. With all due respect, if it hasn't happened to you , no one has a clue what your going through and everyone else just gets on with their lives , and like me your sisters live has ended for her , I bet you and your sister are getting on with your lives, making plans for the future with your partner's, we don't have that , also seeing my sister soppynwith her husband makes me sad because I don't have that any more, so please be patient and just stop and think what has been taken away from her and her life will never be the same again, she has to make a new life for herself, please be,patient and be there for her when she needs you, because she will . Love Maldives 2003

Hi there ...

It sounds like you've done all you can do ... sometimes you have to stand back and let that loved one sort stuff out ... she has to want to be helped .. and you could just tell her, your there if ever she needs you .. your only a phone call away ... she has to reach out to someone or something ... 

I know it's hard but maybe she could get counselling later if she does reach out ... all you can do is just be there waiting ... Chrissie x