Hi Jse

I'm sorry about this diagnosis for your sister and your worry and the guilt you feel.

I think you will find there are means to speed up the wedding and I am sure the chemo will help. It will be useful to discuss arrangements with the medical team so everything can be coordinated especially with any chemo.

It is natural for you to feel guilty especially as you are older but cancer is not very selective. Give her as much attention and help you are able.

I wish you all the best for a great wedding day.

Kind regards

David

Sweetie . 

I can totally relate to your feelings. My sister died of Bowel cancer . And at the time i alsonhad breast camcer. I felt so guilty that she died and I am still here. She is your lovely sister     who if like me, you are so close to  you would.do anything to take any pain and harm away from. 

It is so hard seeing those we love going through such horrible things. 

The grief will be so painful. And I remember wanting to have a sign hovering above my head saying. I am hurting so.much .. my sister and best friend has died. Sometimes it was so hard to breath and get through it. You will never ger.over the grief because we grieve because we have loved and the love never stops. 

But we adjust and cope. And in the darkest times I remember my husband would say... Wendy would hate that you are so sad. She wouldn't want you to be so down. 

And in a way that did make a difference. .. because it is true. She didn't live into old age.... only 42 when she passed away. Prime of her beautiful life. We must go on for their sakes..... as bloody hard as that is. 

Love and kind thoughts  to you . And know that she is loved as are you xx

BECKS 

Hiya,

I just had to reach out to you. Firstly I just want to say I'm so sorry, it's sh@t and nothing will change that. I remember in vivid detail every step of this journey. I lost my 38yr old sister to bowel cancer that had spread to her liver. She died on May 31st 2019. It still feels like it was yesterday. It should have been her 40th birthday last week and the pain is as earth shattering as the day she left us but you do find a way to get by. The guilt subsides eventually, not fully but you will begin to accept that it's not your fault that it wasn't you. Life is never the same again and quite honestly there are things that I still can't begin to fully deal with it process. I cry all the time. I obsess that I am next and I will die of bowel cancer next. I get so angry that I'm left to deal with everyone else's grief and hold things together when I just want to forget everything. So please don't beat yourself up. Wherever you are.... it's ok to feel how you feel. 
Sending love because if you're anything like me you will be trying to just get on and keep going when sometimes you need to totally fall apart and let yourself feel everything. 

Harriet

xx