My lovely sister has been diagnosed with brain cancer. She was diagnosed earlier in the year and has had surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. She is strong and positive, however I am finding this so hard to deal with. What should I do??
Welcome to Cancer Chat, the site that nobody really wants to join.
I am sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis of brain cancer. Has she been told what stage her cancer is at yet? I presume that she has either had a review to see how well the radiotherapy and chemo have managed to reduce the size of the tumour, or she is to have one shortly?
This is a scary time for family, as well as your sister and I feel for you all. I lost my Mum to secondary breast cancer. Latterly she had it in her lungs, liver, bones and brain.She deteriorated very quickly at this stage and it was heartbreaking to watch.
The main thing is to support your Sister. Try not to look at the bigger picture but to take things day-by- day and in bite sized chunks.. Instead of worrying how you'll cope when she passes, try to put a more positive spin on things. See what you can do to help her out.
There are many ways that you can help her. They all sound very mundane, but will make a big difference to your Sister. She will probably feel very tired and her joints will possibly be aching following treatment. You can help out with day-to-day housework, washing, ironing, preparing tasty, appetising meals (chemo leaves a metallic taste in the mouth so all food tastes odd). She won’t want to cook when she is feeling nauseous and doesn’t want to eat. Are there any places she would like to go to or people she might like to see?
She may find holding a book, too heavy for her, in which case you can read to her. Make sure that her medication is controlling her pain properly, you can liaise with the nurses for this.. Just be there for her. Does she like music? Perhaps you could download some for her. The main thing to do is to make pecious memories. Do you have lots of photos of her? If not, take some, as you will treasure these long after she has gone.
Many of us who have cared for loved ones, report feeling frustrated that they could do so little for them. By doing some of the things I have mentioned above, you will feel more positive about things.
I feel for you. This is not an easy stage of the cancer journey. Somehow or other you find the strength to cope.
Please keep in touch and let us know how things go. We are always here for you whenever you feel like talking.
Thank you so much for your reply. It was helpful to read and most of what you said I try hard to do. When I am with her I am really positive as she is trying hard to remain positive. She had surgery to remove as much of the tumour as was possible followed by a course of radiotherapy alongside chemotherapy. She has lost some memory and her balance is poor. I miss who she was but appreciate the person she has become.
We is now taking chemotherapy tablets for a further 6 treatments. My family are devastated and it is upsetting to see my mum and dad suffer in the way that they are.
Her cancer is stage 4 and her family are young. I do as much as I can to help without being overpowering as she is a very independent person.
I think I will find this forum helpful as I don't feel able to talk to anyone else. Thank you again
Most of what I suggested is just common sense, but you may find it is difficult if she is so independent.Sadly, she will have greater need for help as her disease progresses, especially if her family are still are still young.
Watching your poor sister like this must beheart-breaking for all the family. I particularly feel for your parents. I Iost a brother in an accident when he was only 24. I don't think that my poor Mum got over that to the day she died. No parent should have to see their children go before them.
I think that you will find this forum helpful. We don't always want to burden family and friends, whereas, people on this site are only too happy to help others out.
Thinking of and praying for your Sister and all her family.
