Hi AuntyBaz

Welcome to the forum where nobody would choose to be. I noticed you havent had a reply yet. Thats unusual because everyone here is usually super supportive  but its a bank holiday weekend so maybe everyone is out and about.....

I'm so sorry to read about your young niece. Cancer is a bl***y awful disease that doesn't give a hoot if you are young or old!  What a shock it must be for you all. Im sure your brother knows you are there to support him and your niece but remind him of this anyway! If he doesnt feel like talking send him text messages just to let him know you are thinking of him and to let him know you are there for him if he needs to let off steam. On a more practical side its easy to forget to eat when we are upset so perhaps you could prepare a meal to drop off with him or invite him to yours to eat or prepare some food that can be frozen to eat later if you live near enough.   Perhaps when your niece starts her treatment you could offer lifts to the hospital or company on these hospital trips. Never underestimate  the power of human touch. A big long hug can often convey more than words. Please let us know how you are all doing. Wishing you all well Inula x

Thanks Inula,

We have offered to take her to her radiography sessions for a week whilst that is happening. We live 150 miles away so it's going to need to be organised. I haven't seen my niece yet but I saw my brother and you are right a hug said more than words could ever. I just feel numb tho - I haven't even cried because I don't actually feel anything. It's very strange....

hi Auntybaz

I think you will find its normal to feel nothing at all So dont think you are strange ( or even cold or uncaring) When something is so shocking or awful for us to get our heads round we protect ourselves by feeling nothing for a while until our brains can process whats going on. You will probably feel a whole range of emotions in the coming weeks.

Its good to know you've connected with your brother. Im 54 and all I wanted last week was a hug from my mum and dad. They live over 100 miles away and are no longer able to drive that distance. Thank goodness my uncle was able to bring them for a brief visit.

I hope you manage to get the logistics of taking your niece to radiography sorted. Not easy when you love so far away but Im sure it will be helpful to you to be doing something of practical help. Stay in touch

Wishing you all the very best

Inula x

Hi AuntyBaz,

I'm afraid your post seems to have been lost against the tidal wave of messages which came in over the long weekend. 

All you can really do is try to be there emotionally for your niece, your brother and the rest of the family. To be brutally frank, everyone else will be concentrating on your niece but her Mum and Dad will need a lot of support too. Watching and supporting someone you love as they are being affected by cancer is physically and emotionally exhausting. Just be aware that their nerves will be pretty raw and that they will probably be feeling the strain and wondering "why us/why her?".

Best wishes
Dave  

Thanks both. My brother is very angry at the moment. With the world I think... And also with people who say "it will be ok" or "there are new treatments all the time" or "we must be positive". I must admit they sound like hollow words to me as well. Why can't people just say "it's ***" cause that's what it is? Why are we all expected to be "positive"? Why can't we be real???

Hey that's funny you can't write s*it on this site it asterisks it out! Flipping heck what happened to good old letting off steam?

Hi Auntybaz.  I can only imagine what your family are going through and just wanted to say I hope we can offer you some support and a safe place to rant even though you may have a few asterisks in your posts lol!  I can so relate to your brother's anger with the 'positive' brigade and have never learned how to deal with that, other than to bite my tongue.  Sending you a warm hug - keep in touch x

Thanks again. She went in for an "exploratory" op yesterday and has a meeting next week. I don't know what they will say. Maybe they aren't going to do anything? Maybe it's too late... Am preparing for the worst but hoping for a miracle. My heart hurts....

Mine too - just thinking of the unfairness of it all.  Its much easier for me to cope with cancer myself than to hear of someone so young facing the disease, and understanding the devastation it brings to a family.  I am glad the exploratory op is over and now you must just wait. Please dont try and second guess the 'what ifs', you will drive yourself doo-lally - keep on with the hoping though and I will be right alongside you with that one! Keep in touch x

Just wondering how you, your niece and your family are doing AuntyBaz 

Warm wishes

Inula