Hi,I’m so sorry your suffering,it seems like a double blow to you,I think your mum is trying to protect you by not wanting you to see her the way she is,I’ve lost both my parents to this disease,mum when I was 5 and dad at 22,it’s so cruel and devastating,it wrecks your head,because you grieve before and after they go,you want to run but not get anywhere,she maybe not thinking straight as she is so unwell,don’t have any regrets,and just go and see her and say goodbye,if you don’t you may regret you never got the chance to say goodbye,and it may help you grieve better in future,this is just my advice,but do what you need to do,I hope you find some peace,I promise you are not alone,people care,even strangers,

i dont have any advice for you im afraid but just to let you know that there are others out there like you - suffering hugely and just cant imagine a life without their mum.

I only just found out 3 days ago, totally unexpected and out of the blue that my mum has inoperable ulcerated tumour in her stomach that will receive NO treatment whatsoever and she has only a few weeks TOPS to live.

I dont want to go on.

Its horrific. I feel i dont deserve this - and im sure you feel the same.

My mum is the opposite. She has had alzheimers for 12 years, and is now 72. she is still so upbeat, cracks jokes, but talks a lot of rubbish here and there.

still knows everyone etc etc - but has no clue as to why she is in hospital, that she is near to death, and just asks to go home all the time.

In my mind thats worse. its so so so sad so see her so happy and not know whats coming.

Im sorry i have just whittered on here but just felt like i wanted to reply to you 

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