Together we will beat cancer

Donate

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

23 Aug 2019 19:15

I have never posted on a forum before but i feel i have no where else to turn.

My mum was told today that she has small cell lung cancer. It is in her lungs, liver, bones and spine. Without treatment she could have 6-8 weeks to live and with treatment it could be 6-8 Months. Im not ready to lose my mum and best friend and the thought of losing her is killing me.

My little brother is 13 but autistic and she is telling him tonight, i know he isnt going to understand and cope and i know he is going to need me but i am a mess and i just dont know what i can do. Im trying to be there for everybody but im not coping at all  

I dont really know what i want to ask apart from has anybody else been in a similar situation and can advice me on ways of coping and being there for my mum and brother? 

Thankyou. 

 

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

23 Aug 2019 19:26 in response to Laura1912

Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... you must feel the weight of the world on your shoulders ... is dad still around ?   

What I've learned on here is Marie Currie are there for those diagnosis like your mum's... they will support her and family that are effected by it ... go on their home page and call them .. those feelings your having , they will have had them many times before .. don't do this alone .. 

The bad news is I think it may be like on here and McMillan... where you can phone Mon to Fri .. but go on their home page and find out how they could help .. write down All your questions ... and have pen and paper to write down All the answers ...  ...

My heart goes out to you ... so hope you have support from others family or friends ...

Sending you a vertual hug...   Chrissie xx

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

24 Aug 2019 17:59 in response to Chriss

Thankyou chrissie, unfortunately my dad passed away when i was young so my mum has raised me alone and she is all i have. I will have a look now, thankyou x

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

24 Aug 2019 22:09 in response to Laura1912

Hi Laura

Sorry I can't offer any real advice but I'm in the same situation as you. My lovely mum is also dying of oesophageal cancer that has also spread to her liver and adrenal glands. She was diagnosed in July and she's gone from an active lifestyle to literally struggling to stay awake. 

I just wanted to say that I feel your pain and distress and send you a big hug xx

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

24 Aug 2019 22:17 in response to Debsadoos

Hi Laura 

So sorry to hear your terrible news, stay strong if you can .

Debsadoos , my dad has the same as your mum stage 4 , gone to his liver, i hate this b.stard disease , he has just started chemo and is so weak , my sympathies are with you too at this horrific time . X

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

24 Aug 2019 22:24 in response to mikkey71

Thank you Mikkey71.  My mums is stage 4 as well. Too weak for any treatment at the moment and she's struggling with dysphagia a. They also can't put a stent in so she's living off complan and soup. My heart is broken x

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

24 Aug 2019 22:57 in response to Debsadoos

I'm so so sorry to hear that Debsadoos, i know what you are going through , it is heart breaking totally , i feel your pain , this cancer is total punishment for your mum , you , my dad and me .

I hate it , my dad is my world, he is only drinking 2 ensure drinks a day , chemo harsh , sleeping all the time !

Has your mum had any laser treatment and will they offer her chemo if she gets stronger ? Xx

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

24 Aug 2019 23:33 in response to Laura1912

Hi Laura

So , so sorry to hear what you’re going through , keep strong . You need to get outside help ASAP , hopefully Mums GP is getting the district nurse involved who can then get Marie curie involved , they can sit at night and keep an eye on Mum . There’s also McMillan cancer who can come in and you can have a chat with them about how you and your brother are doing , they can put you in the right direction regards what help is out there from physical help to financial help  . Also ask about home care from the district nurse as Mum deserves help in the morning and throughout the day even if it’s a visit to make sure all’s well, Never say NO to help as it’ll only get harder if you do or if Mum says No  , ask about a care package for Mum , again the district nurse can help . If your looking after Mum your entitled to a an allowance , I’m more than sure Mum is also entitled to funding which is paid monthly . It’s loads to take in but this is what we had to do for my late Dad , he passed last week . Oh and regards Mums food there are companies out there who make food for her condition , Wiltshire farm foods is one . 

I hope the above helps and be strong 

Regards

Phil

My mum is dying, i don't know what to do

25 Aug 2019 10:42 in response to mikkey71

Mikkey71. She's not started treatment yet. She's going to try chemo but it all depends on her strength. She's so weak. They said they can't do laser treatment because it has spread.

Sending you lots of love x