Hi you've taken a big jump from treatable to terminal, and your completely wrong. Uncurable means she can have treatment to help her but can't cure her, I've lived over 6years Uncurable, others over 10 years. Hopefully others will join you soon with their stories. 

Billy 

hi, thanks for the response, I'm so glad to hear that you're doing so well. also, i know I've taken a big jump there but it probably seems that way because I didn't mention details that make it, in my view, pretty obvious, like how my mum physically can't eat more than like one child's portion per day at most, and how she's throwing up all the medicine they're trying to give her, and how she isn't awake for more than a few hours a day, and when she is awake she's just writhing on the sofa in agony, and how literally every close friend and family member we have has visited in the past couple of weeks - seems to me like something is being kept out of the picture to protect me from getting too upset about it. I may well be jumping to conclusions but to me they seem pretty obvious and I've caught my nan, who never cries, crying a lot. I'd love to have hope because I know that lots of people live for many years with treatable but uncurable cancer, which is absolutely amazing, I just don't think that period of survival is going to be in the picture for my mum based on what I've seen. I could be wrong though, I could just be a kid getting worked up about it, after all I'm no medical professional. 

So sorry you are having to go through this. It's heartbreaking, but try and be strong for your mum so you make the most of the time you still have with her.

Do you maybe have a friend who can come over to chat with you and also help make your room a bit more pleasant?

There is a charity called riprap which gives support to teens who have a parent with cancer, plus the riprap website has a list of other services in various areas. There is lots of useful advice on their website for people in situations like yours.

http://www.riprap.org.uk

Maggies is another charity that helps support people with cancer as well as their friends and families. There are drop in centres where you can just drop in for a coffee and chat as well as a national helpline. 

https://www.maggies.org

I think you really need some psychological support but also perhaps some practical support right now. 

Also, if you keep crying don't forget your GP is someone you can talk to about that. They may also be able to refer you for additional support if needed.

Take care. Love Rose x

thank you so much, I'll definitely be having a look at those links. I've got a friend that can help, yeah, I can probably get them over at the weekend if they're up for it. I should probably also talk to my GP too, but I just don't want them to put me through to CAHMS as I found that unhelpful the last time I used that service. I'll try and find some sort of counselling that works for me though, everything just feels a bit like a shock right now. I think I'm going to have to rely a lot on friends. thanks again for the links, it means a lot :)

Hi again, you don't have to go through CAHMS. Maggies charity can set up psychological support and GP has access to others resources now you are 16. It's natural to feel shock. You need to be really kind to yourself right now and to try and stay on top of the basics – eating, sleeping, etc – so that you can be there for your mum best you can. Things are especially tough for you as a teenager because of the way hormones and emotions play out at that age. It will be really good if you can reach out for the support that's available. One of the charities might be able to offer a little pampering even so you can feel at your best, though obviously with all that's going on no one expects you to feel great. If your mum feels you are coping a bit better it may help her too psychologically at this time. So do ask the charities if there's any thing on offer to help you feel better about yourself, tell them how you've been feeling as you've told it on here. Once again, take care. Love Rose xx

I just double-checked the riprap site and it looks as if there may have been some funding cuts. So Maggies might be more the more up-to-date charity. Also, stay safe when using forums. Maybe Maggies would be a good first port of call with the national helpline who can signpost to most up-to-date and active charities currently. It's a while since I used riprap, but I've used Maggies very recently.

thank you so much, your help is much appreciated! I also forgot that I was 16 and not younger when I mentioned CAHMS which is really nice, as I remember age being a barrier to getting the help I needed when I tried to use mental health services a while ago, so yeah it's very useful to be reminded that I can actually get support now that isn't limited to being treated like a small child :) I'll definitely be looking to get in touch with some charities over the next week too which will be good for everyone in my life I think

Although I am 27 and not a teenager, I relate to this pain so much. Especially in the beginning of my mum's diagnosis. So, you are not just a kid who is overexaggerating your feelings and it isn't just your hormones. Everything you have said is such a normal way to feel when given this news. With that being said, you are a teenager who will already have lots of worries and annoying hormones. Typing out some of your worries here and reaching out for help is already a sign that you may actually be stronger than you think. 

What helps me is thinking about all the positive things about my mum and all the things she has seen me do! As you are 16, she will be so proud of raising a daughter all on her own. She will have seen you get awards for things at school, gone on little holidays or day trips and watched movies with you. Listened maybe to your friendship/relationship troubles. All the little things. And she got to raise you as a little kid which I bet she loved! You will have lots of photos and memories that you should treasure. I don't know you, so I'm sure there will be lots of memories that I will have missed! And there is still time to make more, even if it will just be chatting to her at home or listening to music together. It will definitely help to talk to a councillor/therapist. Maybe your school offers one? Or you could get help from macmillan. I would try and enlist a trusted family member or friend to help you ring around and find someone like this. Don't do it all alone, it will help to have lots of support around you.

What helped me with my mum, who lived with stage 4 cancer for 3 years, was trying to help her in anyway I could. Making her a cup of tea/ a sandwich or combing her hair. Watching a film with her. Just laughing with her and chatting about life, anything at all! Making it as normal as possible. The quality time may help you and your mum would love it, i'm sure. It is also extremely important to take care of yourself. You are still young and your mum already has a carer, so allow yourself the time to be a teen. Get out of the house. Call a friend, go shopping, do normal things. Eat your favourite food together, talk about your exciting futures and think about best case scenarios. Then tell your mum all the amazing things you've planned to achieve. Maybe you'll live in italy! Travel to Australia! It will still be upsetting at times, but you will take comfort knowing that you are being there for her and she will be comforted knowing that you are prioritising yourself and are, of course, going to be okay. 

I hope this helps and I haven't just been rambling! Please get help from friends and family and talk about your worries as much as you can. Even the ones that may seem trivial. Being 16 is hard as it is. No worry is too small or too big.

sorry to hear this... my dads just passed at 73.. he was told terminal but lasted 13 years... i wished he would have lasted longer. im 41 now, but even at my advanced age will stuggle to cope.

coming on here is abit of a help. the only other coping mechanism i have... i dont think im allowed to say.