Hi there close... just want to send you as hug as you know nothing can make that pain go away,  l think it's the 2ed hardest thing that happens to us, the only pain worse is loosing a child ... my mum was my best buddy, and the best nanny to my kids you could wish for .. 28 years down the line, you gradually learn to live without them but you never stop missing them ... it's the price we pay for being blessed to have amazing mum's in our life ....

I really believe they watch over us, we just can't see them ... friends avoid it, coz they care enough to be worried what they say, maybe wrong esp if they hadn't been through it, when all they need to say, is thinking of you,  ... and feelings like anger etc is all part of grieving ... but what I can do, is send you a virtual hug, take care of your heart, Chrissie x

Hi Chloe- I'm in similar situ situation. How old are you and how old was your mum? My mother was 63 diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died within 18 months. She was actually almost herself until the last few weeks, which was in some ways a blessing, but made her passing a sock even though we knew it was coming. Basically the pain became acute and the pain relief drugs killed her. My niece and nephew miss hier, but now 8 weeks on I miss her more than I believed possible. My wee boy too young to register it. It just kinda feels that any innocence that comes from not facing mortality is gone. I am only clining onto the fact that I have been lucky not to face this till the age of 34. Luckier than a lot of folk. But it doesnt take the 'missing my mum' part away  nalkate xx

I'm sorry. I wonder if I'm feeling the way you described? Like s zombie. Lost my dear mother two days ago. Its so odd knowing she isn't here. I still talk to her. Say hi. Tell her I love her, miss her. I think she is looking down on me. I saw her last night in a dream and woke up with a bittersweet feeling. Hopefully with time the pain and wonder and missing her will ease. Bit i will never forget her. If not for her I would not be me. I'll carry her with me until my last breath. I'm sorry your going through this. I keep thinking if we can make it through this and keep going, then there is nothing in the world that can stop us. One day at a time. One foot forward. 

Thank you very much for your kind words Chrissie, they mean a lot. Xx

Hi Nalkate, I am so sorry for your loss. I am 46 and my mum was 67. The cancer slowly affected her brain so she had moments of clarity followed by a confused state of mind. She was bedridden for the last 6 months. I also try to look on the "bright" side and be grateful for the good times. It's just the huge void my mum left. My son (8), broke down this morning because he missed her. My 5 year-old has become really agressive and keeps drawing pictures of his granny asking her to come back. And my 12 year-old daughter has become rather quiet. Our whole family dynamic has changed forever. Xx

Hi, I am so very sorry for your loss. I think it's such a shock and such a huge thing to comprehend that the only way to function in the first few days, weeks, months is to be like a zombie. My memory has gone and I have been living in this fog that doesn't lift. I also saw my mum in a dream a few days after she died. Lovely and sad at the same time. Well done for coming on this forum. It took me a while to start talking about it. As you say, one day at a time. Sending you huge hugs. Xxx

I'm really sorry to read about the impact your mum passing away is having on your children Chloe. I can't begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you all but I just wanted to stop by and let you know that cruse bereavement have a section on their website dedicated to children that may help. Just click here to find out more.

I know it's not much but I hope it can be of some help to you and your family at this time.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Kaz,

I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. 

Yes, that's exactly how I feel. Like you, I have lost my spark. I'm not the same person, and struggle with social events. Seeing people I haven't seen for a while is stressful as they expect me to be the same and I can't be the old me. 

I don't know what to do other than hope it will get slightly easier with time, and be grateful that Mum is not stuck in that hospital bed any longer. 

Thanks Kaz. 

Take care

Xx