My mum has been given weeks to live and is shutting us out

Good evening this is the first time I have posted on here but I'm completely at a loose end, my mum was told this week that she only has weeks to live as she has stage 4 bone cancer, shes currently in hospital refusing to see any of her family and friends but will let my step dad go in and see her, she won't even answer her phone will hang up when you call. My step dad is a very controlling person always has been but has got worse since my mums diagnosis, I just hope its not him stopping us all from seeing her. Its upsetting me as she doesn't have long and we want to spend time with her and I fear I will never get to say goodbye to her. I'm really struggling to what to do as I don't want to upset my mum. 

  • Hi there ...

    Oh my, what a sad sad situation .... I can only go on your words ... l dont know the other side ...so I'm just hoping l get this right ... l know when I thought I wouldn't pull through my masectomy , l shut myself away for a while ... seeing those I loved was too painfull because looking at them, brought with it the fear of never seeing them again ... 

    The night before my op, my son wanted me to stay with him ... and his family ... l couldn't because l knew to look at my granddaughter (in pic)  on the day of my op... l loved her with all my heart... she is my world .. and l knew I'd hold her and never let go ... and I don't think I'd have been brave enough to go to the hospital, as I was sure I'd never come out ...

    Maybe your mum is feeling something like that ... I don't know, but l can't think of any other reason not to see her children ... could it be her partner ... there are some people want total control ... but nothing should stop you going ... try to do that when he's not there so you will know if it's your mum or your step dad's wishes ... it's your mum ... you have a right .. what's the worse that can happen... it will just mean you really tried... and if you don't go, you'll never know ... and that will haunt you ... and that's not fare for you or her ...

    Take someone with you for support, that will be there for you whichever way it goes ... my son once said to me .. we only regret in life what we don't do ... l hope with all my heart she sees you ... if she does tell her not seeing her is more painful ... and that you need to be there ...

    Sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie xx

  • Hi so very very sorry and upsetting for you all as a family and especially for your mum, I think it just changes a poorly person immensly, fear, the unknown, how, why, so many things in the mind, and many cannot cope with even talking to family or friends, it is beyond cruel and scary, often folk just go into meltdown and need quietness, hard for you as you obviously want to visit, i so hope this will happen.Warm thoughts, be brave. Jane