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Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

30 Aug 2017 23:19 in response to Tarad
I know how you feel it's been a year since my mum passed we also talked multiple times a day on the phone and from going to that to not even being able to say hello kills me I've had to remove her name from my favourites because I still go to call her she was diagnosed with can on the 22nd of June 2016 so I stopped work and started caring for her I'm the youngest of 6 and I knew this is what I had to do she came home so I started to care for her remembering all the times I had been sick as a child I wanted to return the favour not just because she was my mum but because she was struggling to do the simplest things for her self I could see how scared she was because this wasn't her first fight against cancer it was her 3rd I remember her crying in my arms sayings I don't know how everyone will cope if I die that was hard having to hold my tears back and just being there to support her but I did and reassuring her she would be ok but that wasn't the case she celebrated her 63rd birthday in hospital putting on a brave face then everything changed I took her to have a shower and the cancerous mass on her brain burst she could no longer talk she just looked at me mumbling touching her mouth so scared as she could no longer talk or move to see such a proud women brought to this broke my heart I continued to cared for her in the hospital washing her so she still had her dignity my brave mum held on for 12 days before finally giving up I'm still finding it hard when will I stop going to phone her

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

28 Sep 2017 15:41 in response to shepwaysaint

My mum died 18 days ago,age 64, and things are very raw. She was fit and well until last month and was diagnosed with cancer on the 1st September 2017 and died 9 days later on the day she was due to go on holiday. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. Unfortunately we lost our dad eleven years ago when he was 55. I haven't got my head around the diagnosis nevermind the fact she has gone. There's so many times over the last few weeks where I have gone to call her, the latest being this morning. Life is just so unfair at times.

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

28 Sep 2017 18:40 in response to Ninar76

Mum was diagnosed in May died 15th September, stage 4 breast cancer,

life was all so good for our family, mum was 11 years in remission, we were naive to think cancer has gone forever, I feel we neglected our mum, surely we could have got her checked out in Jan, maybe whilst it was a small mass, I will forever blame myself.

one minute mum was at home, all her kids sitting on the couch with tea and biscuits surrounding our rock, laughing and joking about anything, just being normal enjoy life, she was the light of our family and now the house is like a deserted building!! We have lost our precious mum and I dont know how I will go on with life without my beautiful, loving, caring , soft mum who only ever lived for her family, she battled it for 5 months in so much pain for her kids but in the end she was taken.

How I am going to cope growing old without my rock I will never know. My kids yet to go big school, college, uni and then work, all this i wanted mum to see, I wanted to see mums face when her grandsons have taken those next steps in life! Now I can only imagine what mum would have said, yes I know she would be proud but I wanted her to physically see it all.

life will never be the same! Xmas coming soon, was the best time of the year for our family, that fun has now been snatched away.

 

 

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

3 Nov 2017 12:36 in response to kel19
Hello. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I don’t have the word to make you feel better. I lost my mum very quickly to secondary liver cancer. She got told she would have a few weeks to a few months to live no treatment could be given too far gone. Two weeks later....She passed away & two weeks later was the funeral. It was a total shock ! How are you coping ? Do you have people to support you ?

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

6 Nov 2017 21:30 in response to benmarg
Hello, only just seen thise site. I also lost my mum to liver cancer in Feb 17 and I understand how you feel, it's do heart breaking isn't it I cry so much. My mum had been ill after Xmas doctor said was a virus but she got worse only when her ckkng turned yellow doctor called ambulance and scan was done snd on the Tuesday found out she liver cancer and she died on the Thursday it was spread too far, I live in different country so by the time I got over there it was too late never got to say goodbye, also I felt pushed out family at funeral wasn't at front row st church, wanted to see my chapel if rest made appointment ghen hold coffin lid put on do another chance to say goodbye taken away then wanted to put card in coffin my sister told me couldn't do that wasn't allowed then week later heard my neice asking my sister if she put their cards in coffin and dhe ssid yes, apart from greiving I feel so lonely as well and pushed out.

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

17 Nov 2017 16:19 in response to Snowflake72555

I lost my mom at 14 and its been three years. It gets a little easier but recently for me it feels like i lost her again. I've never had a grown up one to one conversation with her. She never saw me grow up and when i make accomplishments, i miss her even more. I can't bare to grow up anymore without her, leaving the world tonight. Glad to see others with similar pain

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

17 Nov 2017 17:02 in response to Pawar

Hi Pawar, 

I'm really sorry to hear that you lost your mom to cancer three years ago, and how difficult you are finding things at the moment. 

Do you have a friend or family member you can talk to about how you’re feeling right now?

The Samaritans are also just a phone call away. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 116 123, so whenever you need a listening ear, someone will always be available to support you.

Many of our members here will know what you are going through, having been in this position themselves with their parents and loved ones, and I'm sure some of them will be along soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you.

We’re here to listen to you, Pawar, so do keep talking.

With best wishes,

Helen
Cancer Chat moderator

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

25 Nov 2017 21:32 in response to Tarad
I have just lost my mum a few weeks ago. Oh my god I looked after her she had emezimia so looked after her cos she couldn't walk far. That didn't take her she died suddenly of heart failure. She was at coroner for three weeks. I don't know what to do without her she was my life.the one thing I can't get out of my mind is seeing her dead on the sofa that Sunday morning. I do try it makes me cry everyday.

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

26 Nov 2017 19:39 in response to Snowflake72555

Hi my mum died 6 weeks ago , it was very suddenly . I feel very jealous with my husband who has his mum , I keep going to call her but then remember I haven’t got her . I can’t go to the cemetery as I feel it’s not right she’s there.   Sam 

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

21 Dec 2017 21:54 in response to Snowflake72555
I know this post is over a year old but it sums up the exact way I'm feeling just now. My mum died within 3 weeks in September and I'm still struggling to accept that it's real. I wake up during the night replaying conversations over and over again. I have two very young children and they help me to carry on but some days I want to just lie in bed all day and cry.

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

29 Dec 2017 22:56 in response to Ninar76
Hi there l know your wrote this some time ago and l hope you are coping with your loss more now...l wanted to write as l really related to what you were saying, l lost my mum to cancer 2 weeks ago but the last couple of months of her life were so harrowing and now l just feel so lost and empty and long to speak to her. Its a horrible situation for anyone to be in but its also cpmforting knowing im not alone xxxxx

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

29 Dec 2017 23:19 in response to Atkinson72

So sorry to hear of your loss. I know how you feel about the cemetery. It feels like a cold place and not home to my mum. 

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

29 Dec 2017 23:21 in response to Lorna85

It still doesn't get much easier, some days are better than others. It's nearly 2 years now and I miss her like anything, she's a like a dream that was in my life. I still wake up in the night thing out for her. Feel so alone in this world without her

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

29 Dec 2017 23:25 in response to Atkinson72

I know how you feel. People take it for granted having mothers. What i would do to have mine back...

Re: My mum died and I can't cope with the loss

29 Dec 2017 23:29 in response to Ninar76

Thanks for your message. How are you now? It's an awful situation. Life just feels empty and can' make no head nor tail of it. Everything always felt better with mum around