Oh Claire... just want to send you a big hug ... I lost both my wonderfull parents before I was 40 and yet it seems like yesterday ... I remember the numbness and just wanting mum back ... so just wanted you to know, your not alone ... and send you a big hug xx

Hiya Claire and welcome.  Sorry you have lost your mum.   Were you caring for her at home?  You must feel a bit lost now.  Do tell us how you are coping and -  if you want to talk about it -  there are lots of people here who have lost their parents to cancer over the years and who will understand.  Annie

Hi Clare .. I think the first year is like the raw year .. where nothing makes sense , and you go thròugh every emotion you can imagine ... so don't worry as that's normal ... it's the price we pay for having someone that special in our lives ...  but she's still right there in your heart ... no one can take that away . .  

There's no easy way through this pain, it's taking one day at a time .. l found sharing hugs, feelings, memories, and tears together does help ... so hunny, I'm thinking of you at this time ... hold on  ... Chrissie xx 

When my mum died of cancer the hospice movement hadn't really got going which was a shame.  She did however get good treatment in hospital but in the 1980s when she died they were still constrained by things like visiting hours.  Take comfort from anything that helps you.  I had some of my mum's things - still do -  including the photograph of my parents wartime wedding - and used to sit and "talk" to my mum while looking at them.    We would not miss out on the love we have shared for various people in our lives even though the downside is the great grief when we lose them.  As Chrissie says, just get through each day one at a time - do not look into the future now as it is too bleak.  Stay close to your family and be kind to yourself.  Annie

It’s been a tough day today, I burst out crying in Sainsbury’s carpark today and again later when I was home.  Mum passed away four weeks ago tomorrow.  We were very close, I was born the day before her 21st birthday. It’s my birthday in two weeks, I am dreading it.

Cry when you need to, Claire.  Don't stress yourself too much about your birthday; it you don't feel like celebrating it, then it won't hurt to ignore it for one year.   Just get through today until - one day whenever it is - you will start to smile a little.  It will happen though you don't believe it now.  Annie

Hay Clare ... be easy on yourself, you need to go through this early stage ... it's about balance ... a time for crying a time for doing something nice , a time to remember ... but think what she'd say if she could see you now ... bet she'd put her arm around her girl, and give you a hug, and then say come on now, I love to see your smile ... 

So how about doing something in honour of your mum on your birthday ... take something of hers with you ... and picture her there .., picture her looking down seeing you do something she'd like you to do ... and when it feels too painfull, look in the mirror and she's right there, smiling back, she made you, you are her ... 

Something l read in a Paul McKenna book ... he said, when you remember someone with pain and it hurts ... think of the loveliest memory you have of her ... close your eyes... remember every word you both said, every look, and remember how it made you feel ... keep doing this until it pushes the sad memory away, and replaces it with a smile ... it worked for me, with practice ... 

So hold on , just one day at a time hunny ... always here ... Chrissie

Claire, I’m so sorry to hear this. I read your post and had to get in touch. I too lost my mum from ovarian cancer last year. She was aged just 59. M I held her hand when she died. It’s been 9 months now and I think I’m only just getting through the shock of it. Have you thought of trying bereavement counseling? I started it a while back. I know that I will never accept it and feel a complete injustice but we have to find a way to live with the pain. I know my mum would have wanted me to try and have an amazing life. It’s hard to do that right now but I hope one day she will look down on me and feel proud of all the things I have achieved. I’m sorry I don’t have anything to say to make you feel better. Just try to talk through things with people. A couple of things I do is I write to my mum and I have started a memory book about her. I also try to love my life like she is standing next to me or watching over me. She was my best friend and my rock. A mother and daughter relationship is a very special one 

Hi 

Thank you for your kind words of comfort.  My mum was also my best friend and my rock.  I have had bereavement counselling in the past when I lost my husband.  It was draining, but it helped.

i think because she was only diagnosed in August and she was so positive about beating, then living cancer we are all in shock.

A few days before she passed away she told me to live off the happy memories.  I am trying, but I miss her so much.  She has always been there to help and support me, I wish I could still be supporting her.

i listen to her voicemails and watch videos of her every day.  She was the kindest, most caring and loving person.  Life is empty without her.

Thank you.

Claire