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My mum

13 Mar 2019 20:32

My mum Has developed secondary bone cancer in several areas. I’m a full grown adult but my mums my everything and I was was scared of the time I’d lose her even when I was a 7 year old boy... she’s the centre of my universe and I’m just coping very badly with all the uncertainty. 

My mum

13 Mar 2019 21:52 in response to ManOSteel

Hi, 

firstly id just like to say how unfair this is. Life is so cruel and I don’t know how else to describe it. What you’re going through is horrific. 

Im in a similar situation to you in that my mum is my everything - she has lung cancer and has been told there’s nothing more they can do for her. 

The only thing that you can do is stay strong for her. Enjoy every minute you spend together and cherish every moment. Has she been given a treatment plan? The medical care nowadays is fantastic so don’t always assume the worst!

Best wishes to you and your mum. You’re not alone with this, here to talk if you need. 

L x 

My mum

13 Mar 2019 21:53 in response to ManOSteel

Hi there,

i am honestly terrible at giving advice but here it goes:

i lost my mum when I was 11 and 4 yrs later I still miss her. The truth is that we have no idea what the universe has planned for us but one thing cancer can never take away from us is memories. I wish I’d made more memories with my mum so my advice to u is to spend as much time as u can with her creating new memories u will always cherish. I wish u the best of luck and I’m not saying anything bad will happen but please make the most of the time life gives u, I know it sounds untruthful but everything will Ben ok x

My mum

14 Mar 2019 04:30 in response to Ceal_xx

Thank you Ceal for your support. I’m so sorry you lost your mum at such a young age and your absolutely right about spending time and making memories. The day will come when I lose her in person but I will always carry her in my heart where she belongs. Thank you X

My mum

14 Mar 2019 04:43 in response to Flower606

Thank you L for your support and I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Yes my mum has a treatment plan but this is Palative, she was diagnosed in July 2017 after beating a previous diagnosis of breast cancer in 2005. I’m lucky in the fact that she is independent and for the most part pain free and there have been no further metastasis in the last 21 months (although I dread her ct scan and specialist follow up every three months and I go in with her on Monday ☹️) Xx

My mum

15 Mar 2019 02:00 in response to ManOSteel

 

Hi ManOSteel,

I lost my mum to cancer 21 years ago, but will never forget how difficult it was at the time. She had breast cancer which metastasised into her liver, lungs, bones and brain. It was just heartbreaking watching her deteriorate and not being able to do anything to help her. At that stage she was palliative too, but medications were not as effective as they are today and she was in tremendous pain for the last few months of her life.

After she had her initial mastectomy there was one follow up and no further after care following that. It wasn't until she became really ill that her doctor referred her to hospital, but it was too late by then. I myself have had 2 bouts of cancer in the past 9 years and am testament to how much surgery, treatment and aftercare have advanced in the interval, but it is still never easy to say goodbye to a loved one.

I have recently lost my mother and father-in-law within 4 months of one another. My father-in-law was 97, but a fit man until Christmas. We got him admitted to hospital for assessment at the end of January. He was diagnosed with cancer the day he was admitted and he was dead within 6 days. We are all still reeling with the speed that everything happened.

You have been given some excellent advice from both Flower and Ceal. Make the most of every moment you spend with your mum. Don't leave anything unsaid between you. Instead of looking at a terminal diagnosis and honing in on that try to put a more positive slant on things. If your mum is still mobile, can you take her out for wee treats - maybe to visit someone or somewhere that she would like to see or even out for a coffee or a light lunch?

I sincerely hope that her CT scan on Monday goes well and, that you can continue to cherish her for quite some time to come.

Please let us know how she gets on. We are always here for you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

My mum

15 Mar 2019 02:05 in response to Ceal_xx

 

Hi Ceal,

You are not anywhere near as bad at giving advice as you think. You lost your mum at a very young age, yet you sound so mature and grounded.

The advice you gave is spot on. We never really appreciate what we've got until it's gone. I hope that you are managing ok, despite this devastating loss and, I wish you all the very best in the years to come.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx