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My mother was recently diagnosed...

8 Feb 2018 18:17

Hi,

I'm new here. My mother was just diagnosed with cancer yesterday. I'm still reeling from the news and can't bring myself to discuss the type of cancer or the stage just yet Shocked. I'm not in denial, I just can't right now. I'm located in California, USA. I've been looking through different chat and support rooms for a couple of weeks now and so far, this site seems to be very loving, caring, supportive, and positive. My mom has a strong faith in God and seems to be taking the news pretty well. I'm not sure if she's doing it for her family's sake or if she really is "okay". I'm concerned about watching her suffer and wither away right before my eyes and I'm going to need all of the support I can get. I'm so sad and devastated. 

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

8 Feb 2018 21:55 in response to northern232001

Hi northern232001. Welcome to the forum, and I'm sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis.

Although we're a British site, located in the UK, everyone is welcome; you're not the first visitor we've had from the US, and you won't be the last. Feel free to use us as you see fit.

If you've already had a look around here then you'll probably realise we aren't medically qualified; we're mainy cancer patients/survivors and their carers, plus associated friends and supporters. 

I can understand that it's all a little too raw right now, but if you can find out your mother's cancer type and its staging, then you can begin to get some handle on the situation. It may not be as bad as you fear. It's usually better to face up to the truth of the situation, and then start to make plans - although that is easier said than done.  

 

That's probably all I can say for now.  Please don't be a stranger. 

 

 

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

8 Feb 2018 23:44 in response to northern232001

Hello northern ... welcome to our chat room ... 

Well I'm a mum who has breast cancer ... and it took a while for my son too ... but his wife sat us down and said ... o.k you've got cancer, we will stop panicking... well get tests and results and cope with everything as and when it comes up... no more "what ifs" no looking too far ahead .. well deal with it and well do it together ... and once my son was o.k and stopped texting every 5 minutes and he was calm, we really did do well ... which helped me take it all on ... we gave each other the strength we needed .. 

Someone was with me for all tests , results, and my son and daughter in law was with me all day on my mastectomy ... it really wasn't painfull just uncomfortable ... we have talked , hugged, and shared a few tears along the way... but because of my son, l even had a few laughs too ... especially with my 6 year old granddaughter who we never kept things from ... she was just worried I wouldn't be able to feed babies if l had one (with no boob) well I'm 63 ...and she asks me now if it will grow back one day ..

So if you can look at it positive and walk this journey with your mum ... she will feel better for having your support ... she sounds like me, it happens ... many have walked this path before us, and many will follow .. treatment has come a long way .. it's a rollercoaster of a journey with ups and downs .. so hold on tight .. and here I am chatting to you 7 months down the road ... and no matter how long or short a journey l have, I will find something to smile at every day ... so sending you a big hug and positive vibes ... Chrissie x

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

9 Feb 2018 16:21 in response to Chriss

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is refreshing to hear from a mother who is living this journey. I'm glad to hear that you have such a strong and supportive family around you. I'm trying to be strong for my mom and I think I will get stronger as time goes on. It is all so fresh and new right now. I'm mostly angry, but I'm hoping I will be able to carry on and I will continue to be there for my mom and my family in general. I wish you well.

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

9 Feb 2018 16:25 in response to telemando

Hi telemando,

Thank you for your reply and for welcoming here. I know the type and stage of cancer that my mother has. I was with her when the oncologist broke the news. I'm the type of person that takes a while to "speak" the name of something that is traumatic to me. I've always been that way. Even as my family members are starting to call and text me, they won't use the word cancer. It hurts and it brings truth to it and I think we are all in some stage of denial. Thank you for your honesty and your support. Take care of yourself.

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

9 Feb 2018 16:39 in response to northern232001

Please ... cancer is just a word, not a sentence.

The more you say it, the less power it will have over you. And the more you all talk openly and honestly and fearlessly, the better you will all feel about this challenge, and easier it will be to cope. 

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

10 Feb 2018 07:20 in response to northern232001

Re: My mother was recently diagnosed...

29 May 2018 08:45 in response to northern232001

Sorry to hear this i remember this time well take it day by day as you feel its so mutch to take on board overwelming i no