Hello. I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. Mothers are 1 in a life time. I will never stop talking to mine, i just wont hear her voice back. I will see her face so often when i close my eyes and remember. I will not be able to touch her , but , she is in my heart and soul forever. 

 I just found out 1 day ago that my mother is terminal. She has 6 months- 1 year as its now in her bones.

Like you, i fear what she is going to have to endure. She is 74 and i am 50. 

Hi there .. so many of us have been were you are now .. my mum was my best friend who loved me unconditionally... and the best nanny ever .. and like you could not imagine one day without her ..

She was taken quickly with a heart attack ... no time to even say good bye, or hold her hand, and l just wanted one more day to say l was so proud to have had her for my mum ... what I'd have given for even one hour ...

You can do that, in any time you have left ... even when you think she doesn't remember or you think she's not there , coz her memory is failing .. still tell her how much she's loved .. even just holding her hand ... she's still there deep inside ... my sister's dementure is advancing quickly now ... but l will talk to her over and over again and hold her hand every time I'm with her ... even when she gets angry coz I know she's just so frightened and confused ...

So try not to look at the future ... hold on to the now ... and I've felt my mum around me at times and I still look up and tell her all the news and how everyone is doing ... and I'm sure they never leave us ... they just live in our hearts ... and if you look in the mirror , she's right there looking back at ya ... she is you ... so I'm sending a big vertual hug ... hold on and grab each day with both hands ... Chrissie xx

I remember posting on here 2 years ago feeling the same way your feeling right now. What on earth will we do without our mum. I'll be completely honest with you it's going to be so hard and your emotions will spiral out of control but I promise you time really will heal. 

My mum passed away at home aged 53. I thought what the hell am I going to do without my mum, I felt like i'd been cheated out of time with her. I miss talking to her and seeing her face. I'd give anything to have 1 last chat with her but I tell myself now that she is at rest and she is no longer suffering. She is finally free and I feel her watching over me. 

If you ever want to offload I'm happy to listen, take care x

Dear Julia

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my partner last month to secondary cancer too. On one lovely evening when he was in hospice and was particulary chatty, I decided to record whatever he was saying and I went on to record a few more. I wish I had recorded more of him monologuing - but with the few I made, they help me through a lot of tough times, especially when I miss him. I wish I had asked him to tell me how to be strong after he's gone.. :(

I thought I'd share this with you whilst you still have the chance. 

I hope your mum is not in too much pain, and I'm sure she'll find it comforting to have you with her.

Hugs and kisses

Jeannie C

Thank you all for your support and lovely words.

Mum is beginning to forget so much and its so hard to see this woman who once had so much to say and was so lively to now sleep most of the day with no or very little conversation.

i live in Kent and my mum is currently in hospital where my sister lives in Aylesbury.  My mum lived in London for many years but in Nov she could no longer manage.

i travel up as much as I can, I have actually just left workband I am on the train now on my way to see her.

i will stay tonight and tomorrow but I feel time is drawing near the end and I don’t know how many more times I will het to see mum, or will there come a time when she no longer recognises me

i want to be there as much as I can for her, she loves to see me and always asks when I’m coming up. Most days she forgets I live a long way and I work.

her hearing has become very bad and its ruining her quality of life at the moment, she cannot enjoy company  and gets very frustrated.  They are supposed to be sorting it out but its taking a long time

Anyway thank you for listening to me rattle on xx

We have been told the same my heart has broke 

My mom is dying too she’s just 60! I think chemo caused it. I stay up day and night researching it’s torturing me 

I have children and a brilliant partner. My kids only have my mom (one nan) she thinks she has two years but I know it’s shorter 

I cry and research and don’t sleep it’s 3:20am and I’ve had to get of my bed to sleep in the hall because I’d be keeping my partner awake.

i really am at a loss 

it’s so distressing my mom is suffering it’s terrible I hate chemo and ops look what it’s done 

she started off with bladder cancer then had an operation to remove the tumour, then four rounds of chemo and then a scan reveals she’s got lung cancer and two years to live ... I think it’s terrible they told her that news and didn’t give her any drugs to calm her shock she’s been bleeding from vagina constant for 3days up b n down for toilet every time she tries to drink she’s so tired the pain relief is paracetamol just can’t stand this and trying to hide it from her is just destroying me

I’m devastated I feel like a *** daughter for past events. I don’t know what to do  

Hi there,

I just read you post, not sure what I can say but couldn't not reply and say I am so very sorry to read what your mum is going through, I understand it is so difficult to watch someone you love so dearly, be in pain. I did the same researching, my mum had Mylefibrosis, not so common blood cancer and it broke me to see her literally waste away and with her Alzheimers, she hadn't really spoken in the final few years. I know it's hard.

Easy for me to say but try and not stay up so late doing all the researching, not good for you and the Internet can be a dangerous place when looking for answers, not always but....Can you speak to the Doctor/Nurses about your fears and concerns? I know sometimes on the NHS, I felt nobody seemed to have the time but our local GP was very kind and did his best to help our family understand what was happening. Some people on this forum mention Macmillan Nurses, may be worth considering?

Past events, I remember screaming at my mum when I was in my late teens, I am 55 now....saying that if I ever got married she wouldnt be invited to the wedding, how awful is that but my mum loved me unconditionally, we know everything they do and did was out of that unconditional love and if you don't mind me saying, your love for your mum comes through clearly in your post.

I hope the Dr's will be able to give some comfort and help to ease your mum's condition, post again if you can and let us know you are coping as well as can be expected.

Thinking of you,

x

hi, im 14 my moms been diagonosed with cancer all around her body this is secondary , its in all her organs and bones , she was in a hospice , i know its gonna be hard not to smell , hug and see her but i have to be strong i only love and trust her for her i have to be strongggv